Breaking Dawn - Edward's Story
by ForksVampireGirl
Summary: My third story, this time retelling Breaking Dawn from Edward's point of view. Continuing in the manner of Midnight Sun, dialogue taken from the Twilight Saga is quoted directly. It is always my main goal to stay true to Twilight and all its characters, as I tell Edward's side of the story. I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'd like to send a big hello to all my returning fans, I've missed you SO much (I updated my profile as well, if anyone is interested in the goings on of my personal life), and also a warm hello and welcome to new readers. As in my Midnight Sun continuation and Edward's Eclipse, all dialogue taken directly from the books is, of course, written by Stephenie Meyer. Everything else is from my overactive imagination, and is just the product of my crazy Twi-love. It is always my goal to remain true and respectful to the stories and characters. I hope you all enjoy my third journey into Edward's mind.

One more quick note - My previous stories have both been rated T, and while the majority of this story will be suitable for 13+, because it's Breaking Dawn and it addresses more mature themes, I have decided to rate this story M (16+).

_Breaking Dawn – EPOV_

Chapter 1 - Engaged

"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here."

Bella's hand, the one that was finally, miraculously, wearing my mother's ring, twisted and turned inside my iron grasp as we waited for Charlie to return home. I knew she wanted to hide it, to put off telling him just a little while longer, but she'd agreed it was time to announce our engagement, and I was more than ready to stand beside her, no matter what Charlie's reaction might be.

"Easy for you to say," she muttered, but I felt her hand relax infinitesimally in mine.

I heard the always clouded but distinct sound of Charlie's mind as he pulled into the driveway. Bella grew tense again, no doubt wondering how to broach the subject, and bracing herself for the worst when she spoke the words. I knew she was afraid he wouldn't understand, that he would accuse her of rushing into things, of being too impulsive, but I was harboring a lingering hope that Charlie was more of romantic than he would ever let his only daughter know.

He'd been young and in love once, and though his marriage to Renee had not ended in happily ever after, I had heard enough of his mind to know he would love her forever. Even if for no other reason than bringing Bella into this world, Charlie would never regret his marriage, and I hoped he would trust Bella's decision enough to grant us his blessing.

Bella's heart sped and jumped in her chest. "Calm down, Bella," I said softly, but as her breath caught, I knew I would need to be the first to speak.

"Hey, Charlie."

"No!" Bella's voice was quiet, but sharp, and I had a moment of panic. I wanted more than anything to shout our engagement to the world, but if she decided now was not the right time, of course I would respect her wishes.

"What?"

"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"

I laughed under my breath, wondering if Bella sometimes forgot I was something more than human. As much as I tried to hold Bella's hand still, she continued to tap her fingers lightly against my hand, and I thought Charlie's eyes would immediately fall on her ring. Instead, he tried without success to hide his displeasure at our close proximity on his love seat, before swiftly reminding himself he was supposed to be making an attempt to like me.

"Hey, kids. What's up?" he asked casually.

I waited only one short breath, listening to the still erratic rhythm of Bella's heartbeat, and then decided it was as good a moment as any. "We'd like to talk to you. We have some good news."

The tenor of his thoughts changed instantly to suspicion, and he reassessed the situation. Me holding Bella's hand so tightly, her shallow breathing, the small beads of sweat that had just started to form. I hated how quickly his mind jumped to the conclusion Bella had been afraid everyone would jump to. Didn't he have more faith in Bella than that? I knew better than to expect he had any faith in _me. _

"Good news?" he repeated, eyeing Bella with a strained mix of anger and disbelief. He wanted to be wrong. He wanted it enough that I was sure it would lessen the blow of our actual news.

"Have a seat, Dad," Bella said, attempting to be brave. Charlie glared at us both as he stalked over to his chair and waited for her to continue. "Don't get worked up, Dad. Everything's okay."

I fought to hide my disappointment at her use of the word _okay_, but she knew me so well, I was sure I hadn't fooled her. I supposed, all things considered, I should be happy she was _okay_ with our being engaged. Mere days ago, she hadn't even been able to consider it, and now, here she was sitting beside me, ring on her finger and ready to tell her father she wanted to spend forever with me.

Charlie's voice was as skeptical as his thoughts. "Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating."

Bella reached up to wipe her forehead, and I heard Charlie's mind explode a half second before he spoke the words. It was the clearest I'd ever heard him, for all the good it did. There was no time to warn Bella.

"You're pregnant!" he shouted. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

He was glaring at me, debating whether he would lose his badge if he pulled his gun on me. Even in his fury, he would never take a shot – which was good, seeing as the bullet would most likely ricochet off of me and damage something in the nearby vicinity – but that didn't mean he couldn't scare me a little. Or more than a little.

"No! Of course I'm not!"

Charlie believed her instantly, and she saw that on his face as quickly as I'd heard it in his mind. He felt a wave of guilt for even having had the thought. "Oh. Sorry."

"Apology accepted."

In an instant, the atmosphere had gone from charged to formal, which was a far better mood for the solemn words I was ready to speak to Bella's father. In truth, I'd been feeling a certain degree of guilt for having not properly asked him for her hand. Although there was little that was traditional about Bella and I, it would have been nice to have gone about this in the right way.

I realized Bella was looking up at me with an expression that was both terrified and pleading. We'd started this, we were certainly going to finish it, but she was struggling to find the words. It was all the encouragement I needed.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first." Comprehension flickered immediately. His eyes flashed quickly to the ring that was only partially visible, and he knew what was coming next. I waited for one fraction of a second while he mentally braced himself. "I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?"

Bella seemed to have forgotten how to breathe again. Charlie's mind raced through every emotion known to man, never settling on one long enough to form even a single mental word. Then, it was as if his thoughts were manifesting themselves as colors, ironically similar to the way his face seemed to be changing color. I could hear no words, but in his racing mind, his rage was red, his frustration a deep shadowy gray, his fear every shade of the ocean, and finally, his acceptance a peaceful green, like the forest that surrounded the home he loved.

Bella was still panicking, I could hear it in her frantic heartbeats. I knew she wanted to reach out to him, but he was silently coming to terms with our revelation on his own. "Give him a minute," I said softly, sure that the worst was already over.

When Bella finally exhaled, I was certain there was a contentment that hadn't been there before. Maybe she could see Charlie's quiet acceptance. Maybe it was simply a relief that the words had been spoken, that the truth was there for Charlie to do what he would with it. I hoped it was more than that, though. I hoped some small piece of her had heard the utter sincerity in my declaration, and, anti-marriage though she might be, she would at least understand why it was so important to me.

As Bella's breathing returned to normal and Charlie regained control of his wildly shifting emotions, I heard clearly all the things I knew he would have a hard time putting into words. I was thankful for one of the rare moments when I got a real look into his mind.

_Can't say he doesn't love her . . . and who am I to . . . oh, forget it. Can't fight it and can't __change it. But why now? She just got here. Can't blame him for wanting her around all the time. My Bella. _His _Bella._

He struggled to even think the words, but once they'd taken root in his mind, he was powerless to fight them. I must have been doing something right, because suddenly, impossibly, Charlie understood that Bella and I belonged together, and that I would always take care of her. He let out a long sigh, and his thoughts clouded again. I knew he wouldn't say any of it out loud. That wasn't his way. And it wasn't my place to say it for him.

"Guess I'm not that surprised. Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."

Bella breathed a deep sigh of relief. It was more acceptance than she had hoped for. Then, he turned his glare back to me, and I was thrilled to find it was a forced glare, one that he now wasn't entirely sure I deserved. Still, he was determined to fulfill his duties as a father, and that meant making sure Bella was thinking her decision through.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward," she answered instantly. It didn't escape my notice, or Charlie's, that she'd said nothing about the wedding.

"Getting married, though? What's the rush?" He didn't doubt that she was telling the truth, that she was not, in fact, pregnant, but for a moment, he wondered if perhaps she wanted kids right away. What other reason could there be?

Apparently I _was _the only romantic in the room.

"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie," I said calmly. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised."

Charlie contemplated that for a few seconds, and I was glad that Carlisle's strong moral character made it believable that a teenager in this age could still have those types of values. I was only sorry he hadn't assumed it would be what Bella would want as well. Did he assume we were simply going to run off together?

"Knew this was coming," he repeated, before his mind went off on another tangent. At first, I didn't understand the connection. Perhaps all this talk of marriage had led his thoughts to Renee. I wondered if he was missing her, but he didn't seem sorrowful. He seemed elated.

"Dad?" Bella asked, equally confused by the change in his expression.

"Ha!" he laughed suddenly. "Ha, ha, ha!"

Though I still couldn't hear the words clearly, I now understood his joy. He was picturing Bella having to announce our engagement to Renee. He was seeing, as clear as day, that she would put her foot down. Talk some sense into her daughter. Charlie wouldn't have to be the bad guy, after all. If anyone would be able to delay a wedding, it was Renee.

Of course, I knew Renee's mind better than Charlie did. In the little time I'd spent with her, I'd learned that she was an innately trusting person. Sometimes to her own detriment. Mostly, though, she was filled with the sincerest determination to think the best of everyone. I wasn't fool enough to think she would give us her blessing without question – though I hoped, for Bella's sake, she didn't jump to conclusions the way Chalie had – but I had no doubt at all that she would approve, once she knew it was what Bella truly wanted. I stifled a grin, letting Charlie have his moment.

"Okay fine," he said, still laughing. "Get married. But . . ."

"But what?" Bella asked nervously.

"But _you_ have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"

Bella groaned and I held her hand tighter. She was going to be fine. Everyone was going to be fine. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but once her parents were both on board, or as on board as Charlie would ever be, perhaps Bella might enjoy herself a little. I simply couldn't let myself believe that I was the only one happy about this arrangement.

Of course, there was the other side of our arrangement that I knew Bella was more than a little happy over. Somehow, she'd managed to convince me that a traditional honeymoon was possible for us. I had barely even let myself begin to think of the ramifications of the promise I'd made her. Instead, I'd thrown myself completely into the wedding. I filled my every thought with images of Bella in white, walking toward me as I waited, ready to vow my life, my whole world to her. I couldn't think beyond that. I couldn't see a way that our attempts at _more _could end in anything but pain for her.

It had taken months to simply be able to kiss her without worrying I was holding her too tightly. It was impossible to imagine the measure of control it would take not to harm her when our bodies were pressed together, when she touched every inch of me, when she begged me to touch her.

I knew this was what she wanted more than anything, the one human experience she'd told me she was unwilling to give up. Of course she would expect me to give her every piece of myself, but I was terrified of what letting go and trying to share everything with her would mean. One second of giving myself over to passion could mean agony for Bella. It wasn't something I could explain, not really. She still didn't realize, would never realize until the day she was immortal, just how fragile humans are. I likened it to a child who pressed a little too hard and snaped a crayon in half. He didn't mean to cause any harm, but sometimes it's difficult to know exactly when the point of pressure is going to be too much.

And that's without the crayon asking to be held tighter.

There was a lot to think about, preparations to make, though I didn't see what good any of them would do. First, I supposed, was to pick a destination for our honeymoon. There were so many places Bella wanted to see, so much of the world I wanted to show her. I wished I could fulfill her every wish simply by taking her places she'd never seen, letting her do things she'd never done. I could show her every city, every sight, give her every experience before she entered immortality. Unfortunately, in Bella's mind, all that could wait. She didn't feel the need to be human to travel the world or try new things. There was only one experience she would not accept in any way other than human, and it was the one thing I didn't know how to give her.

"She's going to love it!" Alice was absolutely beaming. In that moment, I realized I'd finally settled on a honeymoon destination for Bella and I. Or had Alice chosen it, by assuring me of Bella's delight the second I'd thought of it? Sneaky little vampire.

"And you're sure Esme won't mind letting us borrow her island for a few weeks?"

She raised one eyebrow incredulously.

"Of course you're sure," I muttered.

"And don't even think about changing your mind again. This is far too perfect."

I sighed. The destination might be perfect, but what we were planning was still absurd.

"Ah, ah, ah," Alice chided. "Don't you even think about starting to worry again."

"Why do you assume I'm worrying?"

"Because I _see_ it, every time you think about trying to back out. And let me tell you, there's no point. Bella may technically be an adult now, but she's still a teenager, and capable of throwing a world class hissy fit. She's going to get her way."

"Better she throw a fit than be crushed to death on our wedding night."

She growled at me, her eyebrows pulling together. "Would you stop being so ridiculous! I've already seen that things will work out just fine."

"You can't know that, Alice. You can't be sure, because you can't be any surer than my decisions. And it's not like I intend to hurt her. I could be willing myself with everything in me to be careful, but if I slip for one second . . ."

I put my head in my hands, for the millionth time wondering why I'd agreed to this. I should have just let Carlisle change her. Graduation had long since passed, and if I hadn't been so stubbornly set on getting Bella to marry me, this would all be over. She'd be changed, she'd be safe, and when the time came that her newborn thirst calmed down and she could think about such things again, we could resume discussions of our future together. For the first time in our relationship, I actually found myself wishing her time as a human was already over. At least then I wouldn't be putting her in danger.

"Edward, you've got to give yourself more credit."

I laughed darkly. "And what have I ever done to deserve that credit?"

"Well for one thing, you've managed to not kill Bella in all the time you've been with her." She paused as I cringed at the word, but went on quickly. "More importantly, though, you've also saved her life. You've tasted her blood, and stopped yourself, to save her life. What more proof do you need?"

She watched my expression as I took in her words. It was hard to argue when she put it that way. It was torturous for me to remember that day, that moment when I thought I was going to lose her. But I had to remember it. I had to remember that I'd found the strength to stop, when drinking her blood was the greatest pleasure I'd ever known. I wondered, though, if it was an even comparison, if one situation had anything to do with the other. Alice, of course, was one step ahead of me, not so casually shuffling my brothers in as she disappeared.

"Alice said you needed some advice?" Emmett said, slightly confused. Jasper had already picked up on the anxiety in the room and there was concern in his eyes. I was almost afraid to begin. A few weeks prior, I'd gotten up the nerve to discuss the subject with Carlisle. He was always so understanding, and so kind with all his faith in me. It was a completely different matter trying to talk to my brothers, Emmett especially, but I supposed there were only so many male vampires available for advice on this particular matter. I took a deep breath as I tried to form the words.

"I've been having . . . concerns. Regarding Bella and I being . . . intimate. Against my better judgment, she is convinced that it is perfectly safe for us to . . . make love while she is still human."

There must have been true fear in my eyes – or else Jasper was keeping the mood of the room serious – because Emmett didn't so much as snicker. It was Jasper who spoke first, though it looked like he was having as much trouble speaking as I was.

"I've felt how worried you've been, and I know hurting Bella is your greatest fear. But you've been . . . close to her before. Many times. I mean, you spend every night holding her."

"And who knows what else," Emmett said, finally unable to stop his nature from coming out. Jasper threw an elbow into his rib and his smile vanished. "Sorry."

"What I'm trying to say," Jasper continued, "is that this isn't entirely new to you. Think of how different it was the first time you kissed her. Didn't you have to calculate every move, every second? Were you wondering, even then, if you were hurting her?"

"Yes, every second. I was always worried I would move too fast or hold too tightly."

"But now that's easy, right? You're used to physical contact and you know how to maintain your self restraint."

Emmett spoke my fears aloud before I'd had the chance to. "Yeah, but this is kind of different. It's gonna be a little harder than usual not to get too excited." He laughed under his breath, his voice teasing as he looked at Jasper. "Don't you remember your first time?"

Then, to my great embarrassment, he did. Not that it was the first time I'd had to block out unwanted thoughts of this variety, but we were getting off topic. I cleared my throat and tried to bring Jasper back to the present.

"I don't think anything is really going to prepare me for what I will feel in that moment. I mean, I love her. I do want her. I want her more than anything. But only if I can be certain I won't hurt her. I'd gladly wait until after she's changed. I'd wait as many years as it takes, but she's persisting. She wants this now. She thinks she'll be too different later. So, Alice was reminding me of when I saved Bella from James. When I sucked out the venom to save her life. I'm not sure it's really a proper comparison, but there's nothing in my existence that's felt stronger, that's been more potent, than the taste of her blood. Perhaps there's something to her reassurance?"

I looked to Jasper first, but it only took a split second to see that he wasn't a fair test. Human blood, at least physically speaking, would always be at the top of his list. The only thing stronger than his thirst was his love for Alice. But if he could drink human blood without disappointing her, without risking the life the two of them had created, I had no doubt it would be his first and foremost desire.

Then, I looked at Emmett, who was smirking at me. I wished I didn't have such a clear window into his mind, but the up side was that I knew the extent to which he valued his physical relationship with Rosalie. There was a reason we'd kicked them out of the house after his newborn blood lust had worn off. It didn't take Emmett long to figure out there were a few other perks to being a vampire that had nothing to do with blood.

So, knowing this, it gave me my first real glimmer of hope when he looked me straight in the eye. "Seriously, sex is amazing and all. Second greatest thing in the world, I swear. But there's nothing as intense as drinking human blood. No greater rush." He laughed and punched me in the shoulder. "Sorry, you'll just have to take my word on this one for now. Pretty soon, though . . ."

And then I returned the punch.

After that, the tense atmosphere lifted and I knew the conversation was over. I tried very hard to block out the flood of images that followed – I suppose I'd brought it on myself, having brought up the subject – and when Rosalie returned home a few minutes later, Jasper and I didn't hesitate for one second before running out the back door.

_You're gonna be fine, brother, _Jasper thought as we ran. _You love her, you don't want to hurt her, and I'm sure you can keep it together for one night. Just focus. And maybe make sure you have something other than Bella nearby to sink your teeth into if it gets to be too much. That is, unless you plan on changing her on your wedding night._

Great, I thought miserably. Just the advice I needed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi again. I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was wonderful, and that you all enjoyed Breaking Dawn Part 2. It's strange seeing the movies come to an end, but you all know as well I as do that, thanks to all the wonderful fans (and things like fan fiction), Twilight will never be _over._

Thanks again to my amazing beta, Shanda, – my Comma Queen and one who keeps me in the right tense. I appreciate you.

Chapter 2

Long Night

I'd long ago come to the conclusion that the more I was around Bella, the more desensitized I became to her scent, so it only made sense that on the night before the most difficult test of my self-control, I should not leave her side. Of course, Alice would give me trouble tomorrow. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to see my bride on our wedding day until the ceremony – even though Bella and I both found the tradition ridiculous – but as for tonight, there was nothing that was going to stop me from staying where I belonged.

Except perhaps my brothers.

Right before I left for Bella's house, I heard their plans clearly. They were giving me exactly one hour before they set out to ruin my evening, and if I put up any argument, they'd do everything short of burning the house down to get me outside. I threw a quick, pleading glance at Alice, hoping maybe she could find some last minute wedding details to keep them busy, but she shook her head.

_You owe them this, _she told me silently.

I sighed and hurried out the door, knowing my time with Bella this evening was limited. I spent most of the run thinking of ways to get out of it, but in the end, I knew Alice was right. I was the last of us to get married, and assuming none of us were planning on creating any more family members, this would be the last chance they would have to throw a bachelor party.

When I arrived, I wasted no time scooping Bella up into my arms, suddenly very aware that the next time I held her, I would be holding my wife.

"Mmm," I sighed, breathing in the scent of her that was both perfection and torture.

"I'm glad you're here. I was under the impression you had a party to go to tonight."

"I'm afraid I am going to be stolen away from you shortly, but I couldn't miss the chance to see you on your last night as a single woman."

"Ugh, don't remind me," she said, rolling her eyes. She must have read the disappointment on my face, because she was instantly apologetic. "I just mean, well, you know I'm just going to fall on my face in front of every single person I know. I'm not particularly looking forward to that."

"Charlie's not going to let you fall."

"Charlie's not much more coordinated than I am. I wouldn't count on him to keep me upright."

"Bella," I said, lifting her chin so she'd meet my eyes. "You're going to be perfect, and you're going to be stunning."

She considered that for a moment before meeting my eyes. "I suppose Alice would have seen if I was going to tripping over my train or fall into the cake. So, if you're sure – "

"I'm not saying it because I've _seen _it. Believe me, Alice has been very careful with her thoughts around me. I can honestly say, I have no idea what the dress looks like or exactly what you'll look like tomorrow. But I assure you, nothing could be more beautiful than the woman I love, walking toward me, about to become my wife."

She blushed, and I was sure I saw a hint of a smile before she ducked her face into my chest. I might be getting my hopes up, but maybe there was a small part of her that was looking forward to tomorrow. Either that or her mind had jumped from my side of our bargain to hers. I felt her warm breath on my skin as she began kissing my neck, making every thought in my head disappear. Her fingers reached up to twist in my hair and half a second later, we were on her bed. I wrapped a blanket around her as she began tugging at my shirt, wishing my being close to her didn't also mean she was freezing.

It was easy to forget all my worries when we were together like this. She was content with my gentle touch, my hands tracing up and down her spine and my lips against hers. Like Jasper had pointed out, as painful and terrifying as it had been in the beginning, being with her now was simple, natural.

"I love you so much, Bella," I breathed between kisses.

"Love you."

I couldn't help smiling at the way her voice caught and her heart sped. Sometimes I was still amazed by her reactions to me. As we laid there together, Bella's warm, perfect body pressed against mine, I wanted nothing more than to send my brothers away the moment they arrived. Who needed a bachelor party? I wasn't exactly a typical bachelor. I didn't need a "last night of freedom." I wanted nothing more than to be Bella's husband, to know I was hers and to finally be able to call her my own in every way. Maybe Alice would give me an early wedding gift and think of some way to talk them out of it.

I'd lost all track of time, but I knew they must be nearly on their way. Slowly, I moved my lips to her forehead, then I kissed her cheeks and both her eyelids. She must have read the regret on my face when I leaned back to look at her.

"I miss you already," she whispered.

"I don't need to leave. I can stay . . ."

"Mmm."

I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful woman I was about to marry, this remarkable creature whom I did not deserve. Her eyes were closed and I knew she was waiting for her breathing to calm before she looked at me. When her gaze met mine, I heard her heart stutter again. I would never tire of that sound, and I would never forget it, even after her heart no longer beat. I wasn't sure what she saw in my face at the moment, but whatever it was, she was suddenly pressing her lips to mine again, her breathing speeding back up.

"Definitely staying," I promised.  
"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go."

Her body language was telling me something entirely different, though. It was the tiniest movement, the smallest pressure on my back, but I knew she was holding me to her with all her strength.

I trailed my fingers along her face, memorizing every inch, though I knew it perfectly. She would be changing soon, and I'd come to terms with everything that entailed, but sometimes I found myself wondering which pieces of her would remain. Inside, I knew she would always be Bella. I even believed that in those first newborn months, she would retain a great deal of herself. Still, she would look different, and she would feel different. It was hard not to count her numbered heartbeats, and hang on to every blush and flash of heat to her skin.

"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True," she agreed. If only my brothers could be so easily convinced.

Bella's eyes were hazy as her hand moved lightly across my chest and my stomach. Though her skin was always so warm on mine, her touch made me shiver. Everything inside me tightened, and all I wanted was to hold her closer. I was constantly amazed that after all our time together, there were always new sensations and new emotions she could elicit in me. Overwhelmed, I found myself crushing my lips to hers again, my hands gripping her to me desperately. It was only after I felt Bella's tongue against my mouth that my thoughts returned to me and I realized my actions. I was worried for one split second, but the smile on her face assured me I hadn't hurt her. With a sigh, I started to back away.

"Wait," she pleaded, pressing herself tightly against me. Her leg reached up to lock around my waist and pull me impossibly closer. "Practice makes perfect."

At that, I had to laugh. I couldn't remember the last night we'd spent apart. Even when I had to hunt, I didn't go far. We rarely spent more than a few hours away from each other, and when we were together, we were typically in exactly the position we were in right now. I had to admit, it made me ecstatic that Bella couldn't seem to get her fill of me. It was a good thing we were going to have eternity together.

"Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we?" I teased. "Have you slept at all in the last month?"

"But this is the dress rehearsal, and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."

I froze. Of course I'd expected her to be thinking about tomorrow night. I knew she had been consumed with dreams of our honeymoon. If I was being honest with myself, it was probably the only thing getting her through all of Alice's insane wedding planning. And I knew Bella firmly believed there was no need for concern. Still, hearing her phrase it like that was agonizing.

"Bella . . ."

"Don't start that again. A deal's a deal."

"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I – I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine."

"Bella . . ."

"Shh!" Then she was kissing me again, silently begging for me not to worry, but it was impossible. Now that I was in complete control of myself again, her safety filled my every thought. If only I could keep those thoughts so clearly whenever we were together, but my reactions to her were still so scattered. Just when I thought I knew exactly how I would respond to her, I'd feel something new and begin to lose myself again. I knew there was no point arguing this point with her again. She was obstinately sticking to her belief that everything would work out perfectly.

I was interrupted then by the sound of my brother's thoughts. I only had a few minutes before they arrived, and there was one thing left I needed to do. It was more for my peace of mind than anything, but I also wanted to give Bella one more chance to think through her decision – every aspect of it –before there was no going back.

"How are your feet?" I asked, trying to keep the atmosphere light. I didn't want to upset her on the night before the wedding.

"Toasty warm," she answered with a smile.

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?"

I laughed, though of course I was relieved there was no trace of fear on her face, no sign that she might leave me standing alone at the altar.

"Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

I tried not to cringe – so much for my hopes that she might be getting excited, now that the wedding was less than twenty-four hours away – and concentrated on how best to phrase my next question. I started with the one thing I'd ever truly believed could stop Bella from giving up mortality. For months, I'd places all my hopes on her being unwilling to say goodbye to her parents, deluding myself into believing I could keep her human for a few more years. Now, with less than a day until the moment I could call her my wife, I selfishly found myself scared to even utter the words. What if she _did _change her mind?

"Can you?" I said softly. "I don't mean the wedding – which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward . . . what about Renee, what about Charlie?"

There was a brief flicker of sadness on her face, but no hint of wavering in her resolve. "I'll miss them," she said, her voice emotionless. It was only in her eyes that I could see the pain her words caused her.

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

I could see this was easier. She'd never connected with any of them the way she had with Alice. She could give up her human friends, because she'd have forever with her best friend.

"I'll miss my friends, too," she said, humor on her face. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

I couldn't suppress the growl in my chest. I was trying to discuss the decision that would change the rest of her existence, and she was making jokes. She must have caught on to my mood, because her smile vanished.

"Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

If my heart could beat, it would have been pounding in my chest. She was everything I wanted and the piece of my life I'd never known I was missing. She was telling me exactly what I longed to hear, that I was and would always be all she needed. I wanted nothing more than to grab her and never let her go.

But this was it. This was my last chance. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't finish what I'd started. It was a topic I knew Rosalie had brought up with her, but I myself had never voiced the same concern. Not in so many words. It was difficult to say it now, but I knew I'd never get another opportunity.

"Frozen forever at eighteen," I began.

"Every woman's dream come true."

"Never changing . . . never moving forward."

Confusion colored her expression. This really was the farthest thing from her mind, which was why it was my responsibility to bring it up. She had to be aware of _everything _she was giving up. Everything I could never give her.

"Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were . . . pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you," she said, laughing, still not understanding seriousness of what I was asking her. "Admit it – for one second, he honestly considered it."

When I didn't respond, she grew nervous, her eyes searching my face, trying to figure out what I was attempting to say. "What, Edward?"

"I just wish . . . well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah." She was horrified, and I knew I needed to rephrase.

"More that there was some way he _could _have been. That we had that kind of potential. I _hate _taking that away from you, too."

Even having said the words, it looked as though Bella was having a hard time with the concept. "I know what I'm doing," she finally said.

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine."

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did – we'll adopt."

I'm not sure what reaction I'd been expecting, but clearly that was not it, because I was suddenly furious. Not at Bella, of course, never at Bella. She didn't know what she was saying. She was speaking about us like we were a normal couple, like there was anything normal about this situation she was walking into, which was absurd. We could never be normal, because _I _wasn't normal. She was trying to make the best of what I could give her, and it wasn't enough.

"It's not _right!_" I shouted. "I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human – "

She covered my mouth, silencing me. "_You _are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you _need _a bachelor party."

She removed her hand from my lips, but her eyes were still silencing me. Somehow I'd managed to do exactly what I'd promised myself I wouldn't do – upset Bella in the last moments I would see her before she was walking down the aisle.

"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."

"Are _your _feet cold?" she asked skeptically.

"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait – "

_Time to kiss her goodnight, Edward. You have ten seconds or we're coming in after you! _Jasper was in my head, ruining the moment.

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"

"What's wrong?"

Emmett chimed in before I could answer. _There's a mountain lion with your name on it, so get your hands off your fiancee and your butt down here. Now! Besides, Alice will kill you if you don't let Bella get her beauty sleep tonight._

I was glowering. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

She hugged me tightly for too brief a moment. "Have fun."

_Too slow. I'm coming up! _

Then, there was a low thump as Emmett grabbed onto the windowsill, followed by the sound of him raking his fingernails across the glass.

"If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him!" he said softly.

At least Bella was laughing. "Go. _Before _they break my house."

I stood quickly, my shirt on in a less than a second. Bella and I in bed together with me half dressed was not an image I wanted Emmett to have. I was sure I was already in for a fair amount of mockery tonight, and that would only fuel the fire.

"Get to sleep," I said, kissing Bella for the last time tonight. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."

I was trying to keep the mood light, to help her relax, so I carefully composed my expression before I spoke again. "I'll meet you at the altar," I said as calmly as possible.

"I'll be the one in white."

I laughed, despite the joy I felt as I pictured it all. "Very convincing."

I knew Emmett was still dangling from the side of the house, so I crouched and leaped out the window, dragging him down and conveniently landing him in a bush beside me.

"Dammit, now my shirt's all torn up!"

"As if you've ever made it back from a hunting trip without a few tears."

He shrugged, shaking off twigs and leaves as he climbed out.

"You'd better not make him late," Bella called down softly.

Jasper grinned at me. _I got this one. _

He jumped up to the window and smiled at Bella. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time."

Then, I felt the familiar waves of calm passing invisibly through the air. "Thank you," I whispered, and he gave the tiniest nod. Emmett might have been teasing, but it was true that Bella needed her sleep. I didn't want her passing out from exhaustion before the wedding had even begun.

"Jasper?" I heard Bella ask. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not talking him to a strip club, are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett called, and I tackled him.

"Relax." Another wave of calm. It was a shame he couldn't stay there until she fell asleep. I was afraid as soon as we left, she would be a bundle of nerves again. "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

_Just your average night out. Except for the endless jokes at the expense of our virginal brother_.I glared at Emmett. It was going to be a long night.

I looking up at her window and considered going back up for one last kiss, but Jasper shook his head. _She's finally starting to relax. Please, do not rile her up again._

With a sigh, and a shove from Emmett, we took off running. He, of course, wasted no time.

_So, Jasper said the air was a little . . . charged in there. If we'd stayed at home a few minutes longer, would we have interrupted you giving Bella a little preview of the wedding night?_

"If you're going to be difficult, I'm turning around. You know I'm faster than you, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't actually take Bella's house down to get me out."

"Don't let him get to you, Edward," Jasper said, purposely speaking aloud. "Whatever he's saying, we're nothing but happy for you."

"Of course we're happy for you," Emmett agreed. "About time you got to join us grown-ups."

I growled, speeding up my run.

_Oh, come on, brother. I'm only teasing._

"Be that as it may, I was led to believe bachelor parties are meant to be a great time for the bachelor."

"And I was under the impression bachelor parties were an excuse for the bachelor's friends to embarrass him. Humans buy each other lap dances and try to get the guy to turn beet red. Since we're opting for carnivores over half-naked women, and you are incapable of getting red in the face, the least you can do is let me make you a little uncomfortable."

I shook my head, knowing there was nothing I could say to stop him. I supposed if a few inappropriate jokes were all I was in for, I should consider myself lucky. At least he'd refrained from saying anything in front of Bella

"All right, where are we going?" I asked, when we were officially outside of Olympic National Park. I was hoping we were staying near Forks.

"Nope. No details. We run until we stop."

Leave it to Emmett to add one more stress to an event I was already not thrilled about.

_Don't worry, _Jasper said, obviously picking up on my concern. _We'll have you back in plenty of time. We just thought you could use a little change in scenery on your last night as a single vampire._

Emmett and Jasper had never understood why I chose to stay close to home to hunt. They didn't see how I could be satisfied with the rather limited choice of animals within the park. Only Alice, and probably Carlisle, knew me well enough to know that it just wasn't worth it anymore to be that far away from Bella. Even though we'd overcome every danger we'd faced, defeated James and Victoria, not to mention an entire army of newborns, the closer it got to our wedding day, the more paranoid I became. Like I was only allowed so much time with her, and I was already pushing my luck.

After fighting against it for so long, it still felt strange to think it, but I knew things would be so much easier after she was changed. Once I'd accepted that she'd truly made her choice, that this was her path, just as Alice had seen so long ago, I started to realize that I was somehow, against all odds, getting the one thing I wanted more than anything in this world; Bella and I together, forever.

My run picked up. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can get home," I muttered.

Emmett stopped in his tracks, and I slowed to look back at him. "Seriously? You're not even going to try to enjoy yourself?"

"Edward, what exactly do you think is going to happen," Jasper asked. "Do you think the Earth is going to open up and swallow her whole?"

"With Bella's luck, it might."  
Emmett was glaring at me, and since he had backed off the teasing, I felt guilty that I was ruining his fun. Hadn't I decided I owed them this night?

"I'm sorry, you're right. Honestly, I'm it's not even really about her safety right now. I know she's okay. Alice would have seen if there was some disaster on the way. It's just . . . "

Of course I could count on Jasper to pick up on my underlying mood, and I was grateful I didn't have to say the words.

"You don't want to miss one minute of what's likely her last human night."

"No, I don't want to miss a thing. Even if it's not quite her last night."

They both looked a little confused, and I realized I'd never really discussed the time frame with them. Technically, Bella and I had never discussed it either. Her only condition was that we make love first. Was she expecting me to change her immediately after?

Panic started to grip me. Maybe she was just putting on a brave face. Maybe she was expecting that I _would _hurt her in some way, and she was counting on the venom to fix whatever bones I'd broken.

_Easy, Edward, _Jasper said, trying to ease my sudden anxiety. _Whatever has got you worked up, I'm sure it's nothing. Calm down._

"I don't know when she wants me to change her. How could we never have had this conversation?"

"You don't know," they both said. My brothers were looking at me with stunned eyes.

"I just assumed . . ." Emmett started.

"Well, it will take us nearly a day just to get to the island, and then –"

He cut me off, a huge grin suddenly spreading across his face. "And then our little brother finally gets to find out there are better things to do at night that study geography."

Jasper might have laughed, but he was still reading my terror.

"What if Bella is expecting me to change her right away? What if she's assuming that whatever damage I do will be fixed in the transformation process? Is that why she's being so calm about all of this?"

"Bella trusts you," Jasper said seriously. "I highly doubt she's expecting anything but a wonderful first night with her husband."

"That's because she doesn't understand. She's never understood. How can you, until you feel it? The strength, the energy that's just looking to be released. She doesn't know what it's like to watch every movement."

"Maybe she's figuring you'll just bite her midway through," Emmett said, no trace of teasing in his voice. "And then, well, there's not much need to discuss the time frame at that point."

A hiss ripped through my chest.

"Hey, hey, I didn't mean that as a bad thing. I just mean, things are gonna get a little intense, and maybe that's the best way. You don't have to stress about whether or not you hurt her, and she gets both things she wanted at the same time."

"I'm not changing her in the heat of passion!" I growled. "You think I'd be able to stop if I'm already so wrapped up in her? If my head is full of her scent –"

Jasper closed his eyes, every bit of his gift focused on calming me down. This wasn't the way the night was supposed to have gone, and I could feel his determination to get things back on track.

"I'm sorry," Emmett said, feeling the effects as well.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. I just feel so foolish for having not thought every piece of this through."

"You'll figure it out when you get there," Jasper said. "Isn't that what you've always done?"

"Yeah," Emmett agreed, though his smirk was back. "And who knows. Bella always brags about how good you are at everything. Maybe you'll be so awesome in bed, she'll wanna put off the whole bloodthirsty thing a little longer and enjoy the perks of married life. It is pretty addicting."

I let out a deep sigh. "I really can't imagine she'll wait more than a day or two. As far as I can tell, she just wants to be able to say she's had this one experience, and then she's content to give up humanity."

Emmett snickered again. "Yeah, well, we'll see. No pressure or anything."

I glared at him as he took off running.

_Just following your wishes. You know, the sooner we get there . . . _

I knew he was moving as fast as his legs could carry him, but I still passed him easily.

_Hey, you don't even know where we're going!_

"It's my bachelor party, and I've had about enough. We're stopping the next time I smell a decent meal."

I glanced back at Jasper, who was just a few steps behind Emmett. He could tell I wasn't as decided as I was trying to sound. After everything, I still didn't want to disappoint them.

_We were planning on taking you to Vancouver Island. A good run, a large supply of cougars and bears. We figured you'd want to be particularly well fed before tomorrow._

It was farther than I'd wanted to go, but I couldn't argue with that logic. Besides, I was sure Bella was sleeping soundly by now, hopefully resting peacefully on her final night under Charlie's roof. Even now, it was hard to believe that tomorrow, she and I would belong to each other, _officially_, and I could see no reason why we'd ever have to spend another night apart. We'd spend every moment together on Isle Esme, as many days and nights as Bella wished. Then, when she was ready, I would stand beside her as she changed, and joined me in immortality. Though I knew I wouldn't be able to ease her pain, I hoped that knowing I was there, seeing me beside her, would remind her there was a reason for it all. None of us had that. None of us understood that there was something on the other side of the pain, a life that was, by all accounts, extraordinary.

Then, Bella would stand with me, run with me, hunt with me. Someday, when she was ready to be around humans on a regular basis, together with the rest of our family, we would find a place to start our new life.

I would never be alone again.

With that perfect thought, I ignored the herd of elk we were about to pass, and continued at a dead sprint in the direction of Canada. I could practically feel Emmett grinning behind me.

_This is gonna be a great night, _he thought triumphantly.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Happy New Year to everyone! Sorry this took so long, I may have been obsessing a little. I'd say this is "the big one," but Isle Esme is coming up soon, so...

Anyway, I hope you all are happy with my take on the wedding. Happy, sappy Edward sure is fun to write. May you all have a wonderful start to your new year. Happy 2013!

Chapter 3

Big Day

"Don't you think this is a little over the top?" I asked as Emmett, Jasper, and I jumped in through the upstairs bathroom window. I felt like a criminal, breaking into my own house.

"You should be thanking me," Emmett said. "If Alice had things completely her way, you wouldn't even be allowed inside the house. As it is, I had Rose talk her into allowing you fifteen minutes to clean yourself up and get presentable. Then, I have to take you back outside."

I might have been irritated, but there wasn't anything that could sour my mood now. I was less than an hour from being married to the woman I loved. Jasper went to retreive my clothes, and a second later, I was alone.

I quickly cleand up from our hunting trip, and then opened the bag to inspect what I'd be wearing. Of course my tuxedo was custom made. Alice would have me wearing no less than the best. As soon as I was dressed, I turned toward the mirror.

I didn't often look at my reflection. What point was there when I never changed? If I was being honest, there was a big part of me that still hated what Iwas, and seeing my gold eyes, pale face, and ever-constant features was just one more reminder of it. So, it was a surprise to me when something did appear different. I knew it must have been a trick of my imagination, but somehow, my cheeks looked just slightly less pale than normal – as if some tiny, long forgotten hint of color had returned to my face. There was emotion behind my eyes, something I'd grown used to feeling, but hadn't realized was something tangible, something others could _see. _I was changed, more so than I'd realized, and at that moment, everything in me wanted to run to Bella and scoop her up into my arms. I wantd to thank her for the gift she'd given me, for bringing me back when I thought I was completely lost. For making me feel almost human after nearly a century of thinking myself nothing but a monster.

I was brought out of my reverie by the sound of knocking on the door. Apparently, my fifteen minutes were up. Before I knew it, I was outside again, being escorted into the backyard. It was spectacular, with flowers and lights everywhere. If this was the reception space, I could only imagine what Alice had done inside.

"Now, Jasper and I need to go get ready. You're not gonna get cold feet and take off into the woods, are ya?" Emmett teased, smirking at me as I rolled my eyes.

"I'll be standing here, counting the minutes until I'm allowed inside. There's nowhere else I want to be."

With a nod, my brothers were out of sight. It felt odd, standing alone outside, when I knew Bella was so close. I tried to imagine her getting ready – putting on a beautiful white dress, my sister doing who knows what to her hair. I laughed under my breath as I thought about the wide array of beauty supplies Alice had purchased for the event. I knew Bella would grimace at the thought of so much effort being put into her appearance, all for one day, but I hoped that when the time came, Bella would finally feel as beautiful as I knew she always was. I wanted her to feel stunning and enchanting as she walked past her family and friends. I needed her to know that, though she had always hated being in the spotlight, today was her day to shine, and not one person there would be able to take their eyes off of her.

It was impossible not to smile at the thought of how close I was to getting everything I'd ever wished for – more than I'd dreamed or ever believed possible. Just as I'd found myself lost in thought, Alice came into view, and half a second later, she was standing in front of me. She looked beautiful in her silver dress, and the warmest smile I'd ever seen was lighting up her face. I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off.

"Bella is expecting me back any moment, but there's something I have to say to you. Edward, I know I haven't always made life simple for you. I know I annoy you sometimes, and having to hear my visions on top of the noise that's already in your head . . . well, it can't be easy." She paused, as if unsure how to finish.

"Alice, you know I love you, and I've never once been anything but happy that you joined our family."  
"Thank you. You know I love you, too, and I've only ever wished happiness for you. It's why I put so much pressure on you in the beginning. You know, with Bella."

For the first time in a very long time, she recalled with perfect clarity that first vision she'd had of Bella. Cold, white, heart silent, but beside me. There was never any question in Alice's mind that Bella and I belonged together, not just for the duration of her human life, but forever. I hadn't wanted to believe it, I'd been terrified of that future, but now I could only be grateful that Alice had been so certain. Without that certainty, I wondered if I would have had to courage to be with Bella, to even attempt a relationahip with her, when the odds were stacked so high against us.

"My greatest hope for you," she said when the vision had ended, "was always that you would find your mate. You deserved happiness, even when you didn't believe it yourself. It can't have been easy, going through this existence without someone to make it worthwhile. I'm so happy you and Bella found each other, and that you finally have a reason to look forward to forever."

"Thank you, Alice. And thank you for giving me courage and reassurance when I needed it."

If such a thing were possible, it looked as though her eyes would have filled with tears. She was more than I ever could have asked for in a sister. Every one of my family members was a gift I couldn't have imagined. When I thought about welcoming Bella into such a loving, selfless family, it was hard to remember why I'd fought so hard against her joining us. Yes, she would be giving up the life she knew, but she was also gaining something miraculous in return; a family who would love her completely and unconditionally, and a life with them that would never end.

Alice gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek before flitting back off to the house. I returned my gaze to the house, and knew how close Bella must be to being ready. Though it had been decades since I'd _needed _to take a breath, I found myself breathing deeper as I began to imagine what Bella would look like as she walked toward me. I'd tried many times to guess what her dress would look like, or whether there would be flowers in her hair, but as the picture unfolded, I realized I didn't care about any or that. It didn't matter what dress she was wearing, or whether her hair was pulled back or cascading down around her face. None of that mattered, as long as there was a smile on her face.

I knew this day made her nervous, and I assumed she would be blushing from nerves or embarassment from the moment she stepped into the room. Still, I hoped that when she saw me, she would smile lovingly, and her blush would turn into the warm rush of emotion I so often read in her cheeks.

It had taken so much to get us to this point, and now, all that was left to do was wait. I was relieved when I saw Carlisle walking toward me. It had to be almost time. "How are you feeling, Edward?" he asked quietly.

"Stunned. Amazed this is really happening. Ecstatic."

It was then that I really focused in on his expression, and something about it was just slightly off. "Is everything okay?"

I had a breif moment of panic. Had Bella changed her mind at the last minute? Were all of Alice's preparations too much for her? I tried to silence my worry long enough to listen to Carlisle's mind, and was grateful to hear it was as calm and contented as usual.

"Everything is wonderful. I'm told Bella is nearly ready, and most of the guests have already arrived. Even Billy is here. I can only imagine how difficult this day must be for him, but he's smiling, happily chatting with Charlie." He sighed, and I tried again to place what was different about him. Unfortunately, Alice must have gotten to him as well, because he was thinking about everything _except_ the wedding.

"Caslisle, is there something troubling you?"

He smiled then, his eyes warm and full of love. "No, there's nothing wrong. I couldn't be any more thrilled for you. It's just so strange for me."

I raised an eyebrow as I heard where his thoughts had taken him.

"Forgive me, Edward. You know how happy I am for you and Bella. Still, it's an odd feeling when something about our existence catches me so completely off guard. Every time I think I have it all figured out, someone, ususally you, surprises me."

At that, I had to laugh. "Even with all of Alice's assurances, you're surprised by how this all turned out?"

Carlisle joined in my laughter. "You know I've never doubted Alice. That doesn't change the fact that it's quite remarkable we're standing here today."

"I couldn't agree more. Bella and I – " I paused, not really sure how to phrase it.

"You defy logic," he finished softly. "You break every rule I thought existed for our kind. I always knew that we changed when we found our mate. It just never occurred to me that you could find your match, and then carry on an entire relationship with a human."

He tried not to, but he found himself recalling the day he rescued Rosalie. He'd imaged her a wonderful match for me, and he was saddened when I did not feel the same. I knew, though, that he would have saved her even if he'd known she would never be for me what Esme was to him.

As there always was when he thought of her, there was a twinge of regret coupled with his thoughts. He met my gaze, and I hoped he could see in it what I'd told him a thousand times. He was right to save her. She may struggle with what we are, but because of it, she'd found Emmett. If not for Carlisle, she would have died never having known what it was to be truly loved.

I knew this wasn't what Carlisle had come to talk about, so I casually moved our conversation back to a happier subject. "So, Bella is nearly ready?"

His smile lit up his face, and for the first time, he almost faltered. I caught the tiniest glimpse of white in his mind before he changed his train of thought.

"Yes, Alice told me fifteen minutes, then she sent me out here to check on you."

"I'm sure she did," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Are you nervous?"

"Not at all." I was grinning, wondering if any groom had ever been as ready to be married as I was. "She's the only thing I've ever been truly sure of. Of course you know I love you all, and I could never ask for a more wonderful family. Yet, in all our years, all the places we've traveled, the lives we've lived in each new place, I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Never felt like I'd found home. Now I know. Bella is my home. Wherever she is, that's where I belong."

Something in my words made Carlisle's eyes light up, and there was a flash of something in his mind that was gone before I'd had a chance to register it. I was suddenly struck by the realization that wedding details weren't the only thing being hidden from me.

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to pick out some small detail from his now hidden thoughts. He watched me for a split second, then disappeared back into the house. Ten seconds later, he was standing in front of me again, with Esme at his side.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I know you wanted to wait until after the ceremony, but I believe he's already caught a glimpse. I knew you'd want to be the one to tell him."

I was now staring at both of them with wary eyes. It was rare that anyone was able to keep a secret from me, and I'd assumed they'd all been so busy hiding any and all thoughts regarding the wedding, I'd never even suspected they were hiding something more.

Esme smiled kindly at me. "We decided you and Bella deserved something special to help celebrate the start of your new lives together. Now, you know you're always welcome here. We are your family and you'll both always have a home with us. But we thought you might also like a place of your own, so I've been working on a little . . . project nearby. It's just a quick jump across the lake. Minutes away, really."

I recognized the emotion behind her voice as the words slowly sunk in.

"You're giving us a house?" I asked. She nodded, her smile faltering for a moment as Carlisle put his arm around her. I knew how much she loved having her family all under one roof. It had been difficult for her – albeit _very _neccesary – when Rose and Emmett had lived apart from us for a number of years. Now, she was offering Bella and I the same freedom. The same privacy, I realized, and with that, my eyes darted to the ground.

Carlisle laughed at my expression, and pulled me into a huge hug.

"Edward," he said, squeezing me tightly, "my son. In a few minutes, you're getting married! I am so happy for you, and so proud. I know how much you've been through to get to this day."

As soon as he'd released me, Esme had her arms around me. "I love you so much, and I'm thrilled this moment is finally here. You've waited a long time, and I can't tell you how glad I am that you found Bella."

She stepped back, and the two of them stood there, looking at me with all the love and affection that any two parents would have on their son's wedding day. It didn't matter that this wedding was as far from traditional as you can get, or that our family was brought together by the most unconventional means. In that second, I was simply a son, about to get married, being congratulated by the two most loving parents in the world.

It was one more way Bella had given me the chance to feel human again.

I came in through the back door and was hit by the nearly overwhelming scent of flowers. Orange blossoms, roses, lilac, and freesia, cascading down, and filling nearly every corner of the house. To me, it was a bit much, but I was sure that to human's less sensitive noses, it would be exactly perfect. I slowly walked into the ceremony space and peered out at the sea of waiting eyes that filled the room. Alice really had outdone herself. Everything looked beautiful. I took my place next to Carlisle, and he whispered loud enough for only me to heart, "Cherish every second of this. It will be one of the greatest moments of your life."

I didn't have even the slightest doubt that he would be right.

I glanced over at Rosalie, who was already in place at the piano, and gave her the tiniest nod. I was ready. As the first notes of Pachelbel's Canon began, I felt pressure in my chest, like my heart was trying its hardest to beat just once more. I was nearly vibrating with anticipation as the final chord disolved into the air. When Wagner's wedding march began, my gaze traveled to the stairway, and Alice began her graceful descent.

_She's perfect, Edward, _she thought as her eyes met mine. I knew she meant that Bella looked perfect, but the nod of agreement I gave her said more.

She is perfect. And by some miracle, she's mine.

I'd long ago lost the concept of time – eternity had a way of doing that – but the seconds between the time Alice's feet had left the final stair, and when Bella appeared to me, felt like forever. I stared and waited, impatient to see my bride, and when I thought I was about to leap out of my own skin, there she was. Stunning and glorious, perfect, as Alice had said. Just as I'd imagined, her cheeks were bright pink, and that familiar blush only made her all the more beautiful.

Her eyes were fixed firmly on the ground, watching her every step, and everything inside me was willing her to look up at me. I wanted her to meet my stare, I needed to see the love in her eyes, and know that this moment was, to her, at least a fraction of what it was to me. She didn't lift her gaze until she'd cleared the last step, but then her eyes began searching. She seemed to spare no glance toward her friends, or even her mother who was only a few feet away from me. I took a moment to take in every aspect of her appearance – the pink flushing her cheeks, the delicate braids in her hair, the flowing veil, the gown that accented her beauty perfectly. Yet all of that faded, disappearing entirely into a perfect blur of white around her. Every sound in the room was lost as I listened only to the sound of her heart, and the way it sped the instant she found me. When her gaze met mine, she blushed even deeper, and in it, I recognized the emotion I had been hoping and searching for.

She was excited, _thrilled, _to see me waiting for her. Her expression was bright with anticipation, and, though I doubted anyone else could see the infintesimal change, I saw that her pace had quickened. It was such a small thing, but the fact that she wanted to get to me even a split second sooner made my heart soar. I felt myself break into the widest smile, and it was only then, when I was certain she was as ready for this as I was, that I opened my mind back up to the thoughts around me.

_Beautiful._

_ Stunning._

_ Never seen her so happy._

One thought blended into the next, and I didn't even try to distinguish one from another. Everyone there was in agreement. Bella, my bride, was breathtaking, and glowing with happiness.

Time seemed to be standing still as she walked toward me. Never had I been so determined to keep every single detail etched perfectly in my mind. Someday, Bella's memories of this day would fade, along with all her other human memories, and I needed to be able to describe everything to her perfectly. Some things she might never truly understand – the way her scent mixed perfectly with the flowers, or how her heartbeat made every other sound in the room dissolve. Other aspects, however, I hoped I could describe well enough to spark her memories. The music filling the air as she grew closer to me, the tear that silently slipped from Charlie's eye when he let her hand go, the way her skin felt on mine when we finally touched.

I wished that for one moment, she could see herself the way I saw her. The way her eyes were lit up with excitement and emotion when I took her hand in mine. The way the small rays or sunlight sneaking in through the glass behind her created a halo of gold around her hair. She was perfect, and I couldn't believe she was mine.

It was difficult to take my eyes off of her long enough to focus on the actual ceremony, but this, too, I needed to commit to memory. Not only for Bella, but for myself as well. I took in every word and every nuance that made up the greatest day of my life, and when it was time to turn and face each other, I memorized every detail of her expression.

As we began our vows, I noted the way her voice shook just slightly. Rather than being embarrased, she grinned even wider, then continued confidently. She squeezed my hand as I spoke the words that were my promise to her forever, and when it was time for her to say, "I do," her eyes had filled with tears. They spilled over as she blinked wildly, desperate not to break my stare in this most important moment. I made sure she was staring deeply into my eyes when I spoke my own, "I do," and I hoped she knew there was nothing in the world that would ever lessen that promise.

As we were finally pronounced husband and wife, Bella's eyes brightened impossibly more, and she instinctually shifted forward on her toes, trying to get closer to me. I knew then, that she finally understood why this had been so important to me. Marriage wasn't just a piece of paper or empty promises made. It was the undeniable fact that we now belonged to each other, and no one would ever be able to take that away. Somehow, we had done it. We had beaten the odds, and everything that had ever tried to come between us was a distant memory. All that exsisted was Bella and I, and the life we were beginning together.

I reached up and took her soft, perfect face in my hands, and it felt like electricity was firing in the space between us. The way she was watching me was mesmerizing. It was as if she could see through me, into the deepest parts of myself that even I didn't understand. And inexplicably, through all my faults and everything I was, she was staring at me like I was the greatest gift she'd ever been given.

When I finally pressed my lips gently to hers, I knew my world was complete. Though I didn't deserve any of it, I had been given more than I had ever imagined or hoped for. When Bella threw her arms around my neck and pressed herself to me as tightly as she could, I couldn't help but remember that first kiss. Even then, she couldn't seem to get close enough to me. She was never afraid, and she never doubted me, even when I didn't believe in myself. And now, I was feeling Bella, my _wife_, holding on as tightly as that day, silently telling me she was never going to let go.

I don't know how long we were locked in that embrace, the most perfect of all moments, and I certainly didn't hear any of the thoughts coming from our audience. It wasn't until I heard Emmett's mind that I realized we might have passed the time frame for acceptable wedding kisses.

_Seriously, guys, get a room. Preferably far, far away._

With a slight grin, I held her face gently but firmly in my hands, and moved away reluctantly. Her somewhat dazzed expression was amusing, but I couldn't really feel anything except joy as I stared at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle smiling knowingly. This was what he'd been waiting for – to see in my eyes what was in his each time he looked at Esme. It was an indescribable feeling, knowing you were forever bonded with the one person who gave your existence real meaning.

When our family and friends began clapping and cheering, I let my hand trail down Bella's cheek, brushing along her shoulder and wrapping around her waist. I turned us towards our audience, finally taking in all the smiling faces around us. It didn't escape my notice that Bella's gaze was still focused on me, right up until her mother caught her in a tear-filled embrace. She squeezed Renee tightly, blinking back tears of her own, but she never let go of my hand. Or perhaps it was that I wouldn't let hers go. Either way, the two of us never separated, never released our firm hold on each other, even as our guests flooded in to congratulate us.

It was easier than usual, considering the number of people surrounding us, to block out the thoughts that filled the air. I supposed it was because my attention was fixed on Bella so completely. Her obvious joy overtook everything else. It was what I'd hoped for, but doubted I would actually experience. It was as if all her nerves and doubts had faded away the second the ceremony had begun. There was, however, one voice that came through loud and clear. It was impossible to ignore someone so blatently smug.

_I told you so . . . _Alice chirped, winking at me before flitting off to ensure proper movement from the wedding to the reception outside. As she carefully shuffled perople in the right direction, I really stopped to take it all in. Today was real. Bella was my wife. Surrounded by those closest to us, we had vowed forever to each other. Of course, only my family understood the true depth of such a committment, but even Bella's human family and friends seemed to feel the weight of our vows. Everyone there could feel that they were in the presence of true love, and, while some of them still wondered about Bella's decision to get married so young, our guests could no longer doubt that what we shared was something profound. The same thing I had seen in Bella's eyes when she spoke the words that tied us together, must have somehow transcended to everyone in the room.

Even Charlie was looking at me differently. I was still, and probably always would be, the man who took away his little girl, but at least now, he was beginning to understand. Age didn't matter, and neither did the amount of time we'd been together. Bella and my love would onlly grow with time, and she and I would only ever want each other. When you'd found the person you wanted to spend every moment with, what reason could there be to put off making them yours?

I could have watched Bella all day, smiling and embracing her loved ones, but Alice was starting to get impatient. She had everything about the day timed down to the minute, and the sun was just beginning to set.

It was twilight, the beginning of another night. I used to be saddened by the night – endlessly awake and forever alone, while the rest of the world dreamed. Then, I found Bella, and the nights became a beautiful time of learning and understanding her. It was strange to think that soon, Bella would join our world, without sleep and without dreams. I knew that nothing was stopping her now. She'd made her decision long ago, and I'd been a fool to think she wouldn't get everything she desired. Now, all I could do was wait, and hope that her new life was everything she'd dreamed it to be. Her eyes met mine, and I mouthed, "I love you," and she beamed up at me, radient, as she was pulled into another hug.

So caught up in our joy, I almost didn't notice the trace of sadness that slipped into her expression as she embraced Seth. A wolf, once again standing alongside vampires, kind and generous, and more of a friend than I ever would have thought possible. The moment would have been perfect, except for one simple fact. This was not the wolf Bella wished was congratulating her. The happiness in her eyes dimmed only for a moment, but it was enough to tear at my heart.

Even though it seemed impossible, even though she'd expected his absence, Bella was heartbroken that she couldn't share her joy on her wedding day with her best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi again, hope everyone is having a good start to their new year. Just wanted to say another thank you to my awesome beta, Shanda, for helping catch all my silly mistakes and rewording things when they get awkward. And thanks, as always, to Stephenie Meyer for giving us these characters, and this world that we all can't seem to get enough of. It's a very welcome distraction, particularly when real life gets too stressful and all we need is an escape. Finally, thanks to all of you, for your reviews and your words of encouragement, and for bearing with me and my slow updates, while I try to balance life, family, and the need for this escapism. You all are wonderful.

Chapter 4

Gesture

The celebration continued as Alice shuffled our family and friends outside, toward a beautiful canopy of flowers and lights. No tree was left undecorated, not one inch of our vast backyard unlit. It was extraordinary, even by Alice's standards, and yet it still didn't compare to the smiling face of my beautiful wife.

_Bella is my wife. _It was hard to believe she belonged to me, and I to her. In my endless life, it was rare that I wished a moment could go on forever, but as I watched her face light up with joy, I didn't want the day to end. It was so much more than I ever thought possible.

As Bella continued to greet our guests – the perfect hostess, even though I knew it was something she'd never been comfortable with – I once again let in the sea of voices around me. I was happy to hear that everyone was at ease, comfortable in our home, though the idea of our reclusive family opening its doors to nearly the entire population of Forks was still strange to some. Most of their thoughts weren't centered around my family, though, or even myself. I supposed, just like any typical groom, this day wasn't really about me. Bella was the star of the show.

Among the many cheerful, kind thoughts that filled my mind, there was one voice I wished I could have ignored.

_Her dress is so tight. I mean, are wedding dresses supposed to be that tight? Geez, get a grip. She's married. Bella's married. _

I turned my gaze to Mike Newton, and fortunately for us both, he averted his eyes from _my _wife before my expression could betray my sudden flash of anger. I supposed it wasn't his fault. She _was_ absolutely stunning. I watched as he nervously hurried away, and tried to refocus his attentions on Jessica.

The next minds I focused in on were those of our Quileute friends. It was odd, being able to truly call them friends, but after everything we'd been through, we most certainly were. Billy would always be grateful to Carlisle for being there to treat Jacob's injuries after our fight with the newborns, and Seth would always feel a sense of camaraderie with me for our mutual defeat of Victoria and Riley. Seth's mother, Sue, was standing dutifully beside her son, still not quite trusting our family, but trying to be supportive for Seth and Billy's sake.

I wasn't surprised, however, to see Sue cringe when Seth leaned in to give me a big, congratulatory hug. "It's good to see things work out for you, man," he said, smiling widely. "I'm happy for you."

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that Bella and I belonged together. I was also thrilled to hear that he believe wholeheartedly that our treaty with the Quileutes would remain intact, even after Bella was changed. He believed free will counted for a lot, and that when the tribe saw how happy Bella was with her new life, they would chose the path of forgiveness. I felt somewhat guilty not telling him that, for all intents and purposes, Bella and I would be disappearing. The tribe would never be allowed to see Bella once she was one of us. Even if they chose to ignore our transgression, I would never put my family at risk by flaunting it in the tribe's faces.

I returned Seth's embrace, and his smile. "Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me." I turned to Sue and Billy, sincerely grateful that they had not only allowed Seth to attend, but had come to show their support as well. I knew how difficult it would have been on Bella, trying to give Charlie a reason why his best friend didn't want to come to the wedding. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," Billy said. Sue only nodded solemnly, as her eyes met mine for a split second.

_Please don't hurt her. _Her gaze dropped from mine immediately, and I was left wondering if it had been a fleeting thought, or a silent plea.

Seth waved goodbye, and Bella and I were now surrounded by a group of her human friends. Bella was hugging each of them happily, though I noticed she never pulled away enough for me to let go of her completely. I loved that feeling, the knowledge that she didn't want to be separated from me for even a second. As Mike and Jessica came toward us, I watched him casually take her hand.

_Seriously? _Jessica thought, clearly irritated. Then, she rolled her eyes and shrugged. _Oh well. Might at well appear _not _single for this ridiculous event. Still don't understand what's so special about Bella . . . _

I held Bella a little tighter, glad that after today, I would no longer have to worry about shielding her from Jessica's bouts of jealousy. Behind Jessica and Mike, was our family from Denali. I almost laughed when I remembered the day that felt so long ago, when Bella questioned me about my involvement with the females in Alaska. I looked at Tanya now, the only one who'd ever openly tried to win my affections. There was a time when I might have called her beautiful, though I hadn't fallen for her charms the way she's wished. Now, she simply blended in with the rest of the family, a friend among friends. I had to work exceptionally hard to block her mind – I was sure it was nothing I would want to hear. Beside her, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar provided me with a welcome distraction. They were eying Bella curiously, seeming to examine every inch of her.

_She's lovely, Edward, _Eleazar said kindly. _I'm so very happy you've found your mate._

Carmen's gaze flickered briefly to mine before returning to Bella. _Marriage suits you. And I believe immortality will suit your wife as well. She will be an exquisite vampire._

When it was their turn to greet us, Tanya was the first to step forward.

"Ah, Edward," she said, hugging me with possibly a bit too much enthusiasm. "I've missed you."

_I wondered for a long time why you never responded to me. If only I'd known it was because you fancied _humans_, I could have saved myself a lot of grief._

Her eyes were teasing, and I laughed as I quickly removed myself from her arms. "It's been too long, Tanya. You look well."

"So do you." _You always have._

"Let me introduce you to my wife." My smile grew wider as I spoke the word, and it didn't escape anyone's notice. Carmen and Eleazar were thrilled.

_He's ecstatic. _

_ Oh, it's just wonderful._

Tanya fixed a very careful smile onto her face. _I may not understand it, but I will try to be happy for you, Edward._

"Tanya, this is my Bella," I said, silently warning her with my expression. _Please don't make my wife feel uncomfortable._

She was scrutinizing Bella, trying to figure out exactly what had drawn me to her. It reminded me of the way Rosalie used to look at Bella, and I did not care for it. I glanced at Bella, hoping she wouldn't notice, but of course, she was as observant as usual. Her face paled slightly and her heartbeat sped up, but she shook Tanya's hand graciously and flashed a kind smile at her.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," Tanya said. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am _sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

Tanya would probably never be completely accepting of Bella, but if there was one thing she was, it was loyal. She felt genuinely troubled by her family's refusal to help us when the newborns were attacking. She was asking Bella's forgiveness, but the way her eyes flickered to mine told me she was asking me, on behalf of Carlisle and the rest of my family. I nodded at the same time Bella spoke, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Of course," Bella said sweetly. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" Tanya smiled very sincerely at Kate, and I very much hoped that they would both find the kind of happiness I'd found. They deserved it, after all these years of loneliness.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate answered sarcastically. When she took Bella's hand, though, there was no bitterness. She was thrilled for us. "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen joined in the exchange a moment later, placing her hand over Kate's and Bella's. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to finally meet you." _Lovely Bella, who has stolen our lonely vampire's heart. _

I smiled. She had worried about me in an almost motherly way, sometimes even reminding me of Esme, and she couldn't be happier that this day had come.

"M-me, too," Bella said, and I realized then that her calm composure was starting to falter. Really, she'd done extraordinarily well, considering how emotionally drained she must have been from the wedding itself. Not to mention the fact that she was surrounded by everyone in her human life, as well as the extended family she was now a part of.

Tanya casually glanced behind her, then grinned back at us. _We're making all the humans nervous, _she said slyly. _Best we keep the line moving. We'll catch up later. _

"We'll get to know each other later," she told Bella. "We'll have _eons_ of time for that!" Tanya laughed, but I heard Bella's breath catch. I wondered if in Bella's picture of eternity, she had taken into account the other immortals who would occasionally pop into it.

After the rest of the receiving line had greeted us – which I may have casually hurried along by having Emmett hover around those in it – the reception festivities began. It was the first time my family and I had had anything near a traditional wedding. I, of course, had been the only one present when Carlisle and Esme recited their vows. Alice and Jasper had chosen to have a small ceremony when they first joined our family. I knew they had already promised forever to each other shortly after they'd met, but now that they were part of a family, they wanted us to be included their vows.

Emmett and Rosalie had been more public than the rest of my family, always announcing their marriage in the local paper of whatever city we were residing in. Even though they told us how unnecessary it was, each time there was an announcement, Alice insisted on dressing everyone up and having another "wedding." We always played along. There was just no disappointing Alice.

So, after all the decades of quietly spoken vows and family celebrations, we were all delighted to take part in the time-old rituals. Our family and friends flashed their cameras as Bella and I cut our cake. I forced a smile as Bella shoved a piece into my mouth. I knew she was watching for the moment I would spit it out into a nearby bush, so, just to see the look on her face, I raised an eyebrow and swallowed the cake. It tasted like sugary mud, but her shocked expression was completely worth it.

The crowd cheered as Bella threw her bouquet into a sea of giggling girls. It was amazing how quickly they all managed to forget their biases toward teenagers getting married, as they fought for their place at the front of the line. The flowers landed directly in Angela's arms, and her eyes widened as Bella grinned at her. When it was my turn to toss the garter, I smirked slyly at Bella who blushed wildly. Emmett and Jasper couldn't control their laughter.

_Try to keep it PG-13, little brother, Bella's parents are watching, _Emmett teased. _Pretty sure it would make a scene if Charlie shot you and the bullet bounced off. _

I rolled my eyes as I lifted the hem of Bella's dress. She'd managed to work the garter halfway down her calf, though I could tell she wished she'd gotten it even farther. Her face grew impossibly redder as I lowered my lips to her leg. I kissed her softly, letting my cold breath tickle her, before I grabbed the garter carefully with my teeth. She sighed with relief when the spectacle was finished, and I winked at her before flinging it directly at Mike Newton.

It felt like the evening was flying by in a blur, and I was happy when the music started and time seemed to slow down. Our guests eyes were still on us, and the cameras still flashed away, but as I held Bella tightly in my arms and we began our first dance as husband and wife, everyone and everything disappeared. It was just us. We were in love, we were together, and nothing else mattered.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered, loving the way the words sounded.

She laughed, but I felt her hold me closer and there was a smile tugging at her lips. "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while," I said lightly, though the weight of our forever was becoming more and more real with every moment. The joy in her eyes was impossible not to see, and when I kissed her, I tried to convey all the love I was feeling. Too soon, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and our perfect moment was interrupted. I couldn't be upset, though. He didn't yet know it, but Charlie's time with Bella was running short, and he deserved to dance with his daughter on her wedding day. As Charlie reached out to Bella, Esme took my hand.

"May I have this dance?" she said sweetly.

"I would be delighted."

We spun our way toward the center of the dance floor, and I saw that Rosalie was dancing with Carlisle while the rest of my family watched with smiling faces. Everyone was having an amazing time, and Alice was more than a little smug.

_Aren't you glad I didn't let you guys elope? _she said as I spun Esme around.

"Thank you," I whispered to her, and she beamed.

I watched as guest after guest took their turn dancing with Bella, and I was thrilled that each time someone new came up to her, she looked in my direction longingly. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms again, but I knew that this was her last chance to say goodbye to her friends. I wanted all of them to remember her this way; happy, blushing pink, and in love. It wasn't until Mike reached out to her, that I found myself moving at just slightly more than human speed toward them. He was eying her in a way that was more than a little inappropriate, considering she was now a married woman, and he couldn't seem to keep his thoughts away from the way her dress hugged her hips.

_With a body like this, I just don't get why she always dressed so plain. Come on, Bella, you could've been showing _this _off for the last two years . . . _

And, just like that, Bella was out of Mike's arms and on the other side of the dance floor.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" she asked as we spun farther away.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."

"Yeah, right."

I was amazed that after this day, Bella was still doubting how beautiful she was. She might not be able to see into everyone's mind the way I could, but hadn't she noticed the way people were looking at her? More importantly, couldn't she simply see it for herself?

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficultly with improper thoughts about a married woman. I _am _disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror."

She was looking at me skeptically. "You are very biased, you know."

I sighed, turning her to face the back wall of our house. She stared first at my reflection, and finally at her own. Her expression softened, and her head tilted as she took in what she saw.

"Biased, am I?" I asked gently as she started to smile. I was about to take her in my arms and kiss her, showing her exactly how beautiful I found her, when a voice interrupted me.

_Might as well get this over with. Not gonna get any easier. _

"Oh!" I gasped. Jacob, literally the farthest thing from my mind on this day, was suddenly all I could hear. His fierce determination was nearly shouting from him as he grew closer.

_You can do this. You can be strong. A few minutes, then it will all be over. Ridiculous farce of a wedding . . ._

I was nervous, listening closely and trying to determine if his presence would do more harm than good. Then, I heard the words I'd been hoping for – the only good that could come from him being here.

_ Tell her congratulations, wish her the best, and leave. She needs this. She deserves a proper goodbye. We both do._

I smiled as I realized that Bella would soon have _all _of her closest friends here, and, if I could trust that he wasn't intending to make a scene, I knew it would be the kind of closure Bella had been longing for.

"What is it?" Bella asked, seeing my expression.

"A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?"

I decided this was something better seen than explained, so I continued our dance in the direction I heard Jacob coming from. The party was going perfectly, and Bella had already made her rounds through the crowd. I doubted anyone would miss her presence for a few minutes.

I watched the dark edge of the forest until Jacob came into view.

"Thank you. This is very . . . kind of you," I said.

"Kind is my middle name. Can I cut in?"

I could tell she couldn't see him yet, the way her eyes were darting around frantically. As she searched, she looked like she was about to fall over from shock.

"Jacob!" she called blindly into the trees. "Jacob!" He was right there at the edge of the darkness. I could see him shaking, and hear him concentrating on keeping his emotions in check. He wouldn't step into the light until a smile was fixed onto his face. It was quite possibly the first time I understood the depth of his love for her. He was tormented inside, yet determined not to let Bella see any of it, even for an instant.

"Hey there, Bells." I didn't let go of Bella until Jacob gave me a small nod. With a smile on his face, he stepped forward and took her into his arms. When she fell into him and buried her face into his chest, his expression crumbled. He squeezed his eyes shut as he held her tighter. I listened to his mind for as long as I could stand, and it was enough to convince me that he wasn't planning on doing anything to upset her. On top of that, I could hear several other members of the pack pacing nervously through the woods. They wouldn't let Jacob do anything we would all end up regretting.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," I said softly. I didn't stay long enough to hear whether Bella responded or not. Jacob's silent, _thanks,_ was all I heard as I hurried off.

_ Wish I'd had some warning that Bella's furry friend was going to decide to show up. Sometimes these blind spots can be really frustrating, _Alice grumbled as I paced back into the crowd.

"He's just here to say goodbye," I said softly. "Bella deserves that much."

Alice raised an eyebrow at me, and I let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, I don't like it. But she'll feel better having seen him one last time."

_But what if he just upsets her? Today, of all days? I swear, I'll tear the fur right off of him if he ruins this for her._

"I know. And believe me, if he does, you'll have to get in line for the fight. Still, I believe he means well. This once, at least."

_Okay, if you say so. And I assume by the fact that you're here and not there, you're trying to give them some privacy? _

I nodded, but she could see the concern on my face.

_ Want me to have Jazz and Emmett nearby, just in case?_

"Thank you."  
She gave me a kiss of the cheek, then hurried off to find my brothers. A moment later, I heard Carlisle's voice behind me.

"Is everything all right?" he asked softly.

"Yes. Jacob decided to make an appearance."

"I see. That explains why Alice has been so quiet."

"It's wise of me to allow this, isn't it?"

Always aware of appearances, Carlisle turned, and we both faced out toward the dance floor. Everyone was far too engrossed in their dancing and celebrating to notice our conversation.

"I trust you saw only good intentions in Jacob's mind, or else you wouldn't have allowed it. All things considered, I think it is very kind of you for giving her these final moments with him. I hadn't thought you capable of letting her out of your sight on your wedding day."

I glanced at him, and he was grinning at me.

"Well, if I have my way, it will be the last time we'll ever be apart."

"Spoken like a true newlywed," he laughed. "So, how difficult is it to not listen in right now?"

"It isn't easy," I admitted. "But I have other things occupying my mind."

He understood immediately. _Edward, you have nothing to worry about. _

"You can't know that for sure. No one can, not even Alice. What if I hurt her? And then after, when she asks me to change her, what if I can't stop? What if I – "

After one last glance at our crowd of guests, he turned to face me again. "You're right. I can't be sure. Just like I didn't know for certain that I could change you without killing you. Even Esme, as strongly as I already felt that pull toward her, I couldn't be certain I was strong enough."

It startled me, hearing him compare us in that way. I'd always believed him to be so confident, but of course he must have been frightened in the beginning. With me, he'd only had blind faith that he understood enough about the process to succeed. With Esme, though, he knew it would work. What reason could he have had to be so afraid? I glanced up at him, and understanding dawned on me.

"Her blood called to you the way Bella's calls to me?"

He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I don't know that it was quite to that degree. I've seen the way you've been tormented. Bella's call to you is . . . extraordinary. I did, however, know that I'd never experienced anything like it, that connection, that temptation." He looked ashamed as he shook his head. "You know my thoughts so deeply, I always assumed you knew."

I shook my head, still unbelieving. "You don't think about it."

"I try not to. It's difficult for me to admit my weakness. I considered myself so well practiced by that point. Yet with her – well, one moment could have undone all the good I'd sought out to do. And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, knowing I'd destroyed someone so perfect."

"So, you believe in me, because you think I have the strength you did?" Even saying the words felt blasphemous. I had never been, and could never be, anything near Carlisle's equal.

"You know I've never doubted your strength, or your self control for that matter. However, what I'm speaking of now is much more important than that. I believe you'll be able to be with Bella in all the ways she needs, to make love to her, to make her happy, and to change her, when she's ready. I believe all this because I can see that you love her the way I've always loved Esme. For now, you'll simply have to take my word for it. When the time comes, though, you'll understand."

He smiled knowingly at me, and I was filled with a level of confidence I rarely felt. I wanted to thank him, but before I got the chance, Jacob's thoughts were screaming at me.

_What the HELL?! _

I certainly hoped no one was looking in my direction, because I was instantly a blur as I ran to the forest. I was already twenty feet away from Jacob when Jasper caught me.

"Emmett's about half a second away from putting the dog down. Should I let him, or would you rather – "

"What happened?"

"Well, you've been wondering what was going to break Jacob? Apparently, the answer is Bella discussing your soon-to-be love life."

I shoved past Jasper just as I heard Jacob explode.

"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"

His hands were gripping her shoulders, and I'd never been so close to ripping his head off.

"Jake – stop!" Bella shouted.

"Take your hands off her!" I spat, glaring daggers at the mongrel who was hurting _my _wife on _our _wedding day.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Seth standing just behind Emmett, gripping his shirt and muttering under his breath, begging him not to hurt Jacob. Emmett looked at me and I motioned for him to let Seth by. Emmett wouldn't help diffuse the situation, but Seth might, and as much as I'd have liked to rip out Jacob's throat, it probably wasn't the best idea at that precise moment.

From the woods came the snarls of a very angry pack.

_I knew he couldn't handle this. I should have forbidden it._

_ Sam, this isn't the time for regrets. We gotta get him out of here!_

_ No. We wait. Let Seth reason with him. We will only intervene if we must._

"Jake, bro, back away," Seth said, stepping into view for the first time. "You're losing it."

_He's gonna kill her. Filthy leech, what the hell is he thinking?!_

Jacob had exactly three seconds to let Bella go before I tore his arms off.

"You'll hurt her," Seth said softly. "Let her go."

"Now!" I snapped. _Two . . . one . . ._

I wasn't sure if it was Seth's urging tone, or the fury raging from my own, but Jacob released her and took a cautious step back. I held Bella in exactly the place Jacob had held, hoping the cool of my hands would help ease any discomfort she was feeling. I couldn't help but see the way her skin flushed red where his hands had been. I quickly moved her behind me, in case Jacob's rage caused him to turn. I wanted more than anything to run her back to the house, away from this mess, away from everything that was taking away from what should have been our perfect day.

Jacob was shaking, and in the split second it had taken to move her, the wolves had stepped in. Sam was towering protectively in front of Jacob, with Quil at his side. Seth was tugging at Jacob, trying to get him to move away on his own. None of them wanted a fight. Particularly not with nearly a dozen vampires in the nearby vicinity.

"C'mon, Jake. Let's go," Seth urged.

"I'll kill you," Jacob growled at me. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!"

My lips pulled back over my teeth, and all I could think was, "just try, little pup."

Sam snapped his teeth at Jacob, a rumble blazing from low in his chest, but Jacob didn't budge. He didn't even blink, his eyes fixed furiously on me.

_You disgusting parasite, how dare you! You'll snap her in half! Then you'll bleed her dry! I can't believe I actually thought you loved her. How could you, if you're willing to risk her life like this? _

"Seth, get out of the way," I snapped.

_I'll fight you, right here. I'll fight for the life you're so eager to put on the line. What kind of sick, twisted, freak – _

"Don't do it, Jake," Seth pleaded, pulling him back a few steps. "Walk away. C'mon."

Sam shoved his head into Jacob's chest and pushed, and his gaze broke from mine for the first time. I saw, more than heard, when his resolve faltered, and he let himself be led away. As furious as he was, he didn't want to be the one to hurt Bella. He was confident that I would, though, and in that moment, I hated myself nearly as much as Jacob did. He was right to be furious. For all my declarations of love, I _was _being careless with Bella's life. As Jacob and Seth disappeared into the woods, I heard Bella's voice crack beside me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to Quil, breaking my heart. Of course she would find a way to make this all her fault.

"It's all right now, Bella," I said, trying to soothe her.

Quil's eyes locked with mine, and his voice was full of warning.

_Bella's life is in your hands now, as are the lives of your family. I've heard Sam's mind. The choice Bella has made can be reconciled, and exceptions to the treaty may be possible. But if you take her life, the treaty will be void, and we _will_ declare war on your family. _

I nodded, understanding all too well what it would mean for my family should something go wrong. I'd always understood that our fates were linked. Quil followed Seth, Sam, and Jacob into the darkness and I took a deep, steadying breath. It was amazing how quickly the events of the evening had changed.

"All right," I said, turning to Bella. She was completely pale. "Let's get back."

"But Jake – "

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid – "

"You did nothing wrong – "

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I . . . I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

Seeing as I hadn't actually heard Bella and Jacob's conversation, I couldn't find a proper answer. I was honestly curious, and a little troubled, about how the subject had even come up. But I was determined not to upset Bella further, and I knew talking about it would likely just make it worse. Besides, we had appearances to keep up. Bella was now officially part of our family, and maintaining the illusion of normalcy defined the way we lived.

"Don't worry," I said softly, brushing my fingers against her cheek. She relaxed slightly at my touch, and I hoped I would soon see the return of the joy that had been in her eyes before Jacob's arrival. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

I heard Bella's breath catch and her heart speed up. "Give me two seconds," she begged. I waited while she took several steadying breaths, then looked up at me. "My dress?" she asked shakily.

"You look fine. Not a hair out of place."

She breathed in and out again, and I heard her heart slow to its normal, beautiful pace. There were so many little things I'd grown used to during my time with Bella – so many little nuances that let me know how she was feeling, how she was handling things. What would I do when her body no longer offered me such insights?

"Okay. Let's go," she said bravely.

I wrapped my arms around her, glad to have her back where she belonged. I suddenly felt foolish for having let her out of my sight today. She was my wife, and now more than ever, it was my duty to protect her from everything – and that most certainly included wolves who wandered into our midst. As we stepped back onto the dance floor, the world became clear again. We were exactly where we belonged, surrounded by those we loved, celebrating the start of our life as husband and wife.

I held Bella closer when I saw her looking around nervously. "Are you – "

"I'm fine," she assured me, her eyes brightening just a little when she met my stare. It didn't last, though, and I knew it was going to be difficult for her to shake the disappointment of the way she and Jacob had parted. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with _you_." I refused to let her take any of the blame upon herself. Unfortunately, I was very aware that the entirety of the blame could be fairly distributed between Jacob and myself. Jacob, of course, should not have allowed his emotions to cloud his judgment – there was simply no excuse for him grabbing Bella, especially knowing what could happen if he lost control. But myself – how could I have agreed to something that could put Bella in danger. If I'd been truly wise, I would have let Carlisle change her the moment she graduated, rather than try to barter for the pieces of the puzzle I thought I was missing. Yes, it was wonderful to be married to Bella, more perfect than I'd even imagined. And yes, a part of me, though terrified, loved knowing that I would be the one to bring Bella into immortality. Still, once again, I'd let my own selfish desires get in the way of doing what was smartest, and safest, for Bella.

Her expression seemed as far away as my own, until she finally met my gaze again. "It's over," she said calmly. "Let's not think of it again tonight."

I wished I could make that promise, but now that the evening was winding down, and our trip to Isle Esme was getting nearer, I feared this was all I would be able to think about.

"Edward?" she asked nervously.

I shut my eyes, momentarily panicked as I leaned in closer to her. When our foreheads met, I marveled again at the way her warmth radiated throughout my entire body. She was my home, my heart, and I wanted only to bring her that same feeling, but the thing she wanted most was seeming more and more impossible.

"Jacob is right," I sighed, defeated. "What _am _I thinking?"

"He is not." I had a feeling she was still smiling sweetly up at me, keeping up the pretense, but I could hear the fierce determination just behind her voice. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

"I should have just let him kill me for even thinking . . . "

"Stop it," she said, startling me. I hadn't realized I'd spoken the words aloud. I felt her hands grasp my face, and her thumbs starting tracing circles on my cheek. When I was able to look into her eyes again, it felt like my heart was trying to beat again. For her. For how much she loved me.

"You and me," she said, eyes unblinking. "That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

It was the only thing I could give her now, the only way to get back what we'd had such a short time ago. "I promise."

"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am."

"Don't be." Then, a completely carefree smile lit up her face, and I realized that, at least for that moment, she was right. Bella and I, together, was all that mattered. "By the way, I love you."

It was impossible not to return her smile, even if my fears couldn't be altogether silenced. "That's why we're here."

_Get a room, you two. _Emmett was standing directly behind me, effectively ruining the moment. "You're monopolizing the bride," he said, unapologetic. "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." _Besides, Esme wants one more hug before you guys go disappearing for who knows how long._

I kissed Bella once more, then reluctantly let her go. Emmett scooped her up into his arms, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She laughed, her earlier mood returning as if nothing had happened. Jasper and Alice joined them, and I wandered toward Esme, who was looking on with delight.

"Emmett tells me you wanted to see me," I said, grinning at her unconcealed happiness.

Once again, she looked as though there would be tears in her eyes, were such a thing possible. Perhaps I'd never fully understood how much she'd worried for me over the years. She threw her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek as she muttered over and over how much she loved me.

"And don't you worry about us back here. You stay as long as you'd like on the island. You both deserve an extended vacation after all you've been through. And Alice says the weather will be perfect for weeks, and – oh, Edward, you two are just going to be so happy!"

She was squeezing me again, and I laughed under my breath. "You know this will always be home to me, right?" I asked, glancing over her shoulder at the house we'd all come to love so dearly. "And even though things have changed, even though I'm a _married man,_" I winked, "you will always be my mother, in every way that matters."

"I know, sweetheart."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

With one arm still wrapped around me, we turned together back to the dance floor, and watched. After finishing her dance with Emmett, Bella danced with Jasper and then Alice, and finally a small group of her friends. I tried not to think about the fact that this was the last time she would be around humans for months, perhaps years. I hoped she would be as happy with me as she'd been dreaming, and that she wouldn't miss all the things she was giving up.

As if in answer, Bella looked up, and a radiant smile lit her face when she saw me.

"I believe your bride is missing you," Esme whispered.

"And I hope never to keep her waiting again."

"You're going to be a wonderful husband."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for teaching me how to love so completely."

There was nothing left to say, so she simply nodded as I took my place once again at Bella's side. I held her tightly as she put her head on my chest. She sighed contentedly.

"I could get used to this," she said softly.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so bad – with you. But I was thinking more of this." She emphasized the word with a tight squeeze. "Of never having to let you go."

The truth of the word, the utter certainty of our future together, was overwhelming. "Never," I vowed, kissing her with all the love and passion I'd once feared. It all seemed so absurd now, all the doubts I'd felt. How how anything be wrong, when being together was the only thing that had ever felt right? I suddenly couldn't wait to be alone with her, thousands of miles away from everything we knew.

_Edward, _Alice chirped. She was in my head, and I was happily ignoring her. _Edward, please try to remember that the honeymoon doesn't start until the family is __out of sight. _

When she was certain she wasn't going to get a response from me, she focused her attention onto my wife. "Bella! It's time!"

Desperate not to let the moment end, I kissed Bella harder, and I felt a little smug about my powers of distraction when I felt her hands slide up my neck and tangle into my hair.

_I didn't really take you for a public display of affection kind of guy. You _do _realize everyone is staring, right? _

I very slowly turned until my back was to Alice.

"Do you want to miss your plane?" she asked, edging past me until she was right beside Bella. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

My lips parted from Bella's just long enough to say, "Go away, Alice."

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?"

To my great delight, even the prospect of having to walk around an airport in a wedding gown couldn't distract Bella from our kiss.

_I didn't want to fight dirty, but – _

"I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."

That particular threat wouldn't phase Bella – she hadn't exactly been hiding her curiosity regarding our mystery destination – but it certainly had the desired effect on me. I wasn't about to have all my careful planning ruined at the last moment.

I glared at Alice. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted." Of course this would all be about fashion. It was Alice's last chance to play dress-up with Bella for at least a few weeks, and I doubted Bella would care any more about her appearance as a newborn than she did as a human. Alice snatched Bella's hand away from mine, and I nearly snapped at her. "Come with me, Bella." Alice stuck her tongue out at me as she tried to drag my bride away.

Bella stretched up to kiss me again before giving in to Alice's demands, and I was left with nothing but her retreating form, and the slightly amused thoughts of our watching guests. For the most part, they thought it was sweet that we couldn't seem to keep our hands off of each other. Charlie, to be putting it mildly, was less than thrilled.

I walked slowly in his direction and reached out to him. He must not have been too upset with me, because he only paused for a few seconds before shaking my hand. Then, he surprised me by pulling me into a quick hug. He patted my shoulder twice before releasing me.

"I know you'll take care of my girl."

"Of course, Charlie. With my own life."

"You know, kid, I'm starting to believe that."

"Bella's just saying goodbye to her mother and Esme. Would you like to join us inside? There's a small group waiting to see us off."

He nodded silently, and I could see his eyes start to glaze over. This was the moment he wasn't ready for. The moment he would send his only daughter off into the unknown. Once inside, I left him in a quiet corner of the room, then waited at the bottom of the steps for my wife.

My breath caught as I heard a door upstairs click open. Bella came down the stairs, a vision in blue. She took my hand as soon as it was in reach, but I saw she was searching for someone, and it wasn't hard to guess who.

"Dad?" she asked.

"Over here," I said softly. I knew this would be her most difficult goodbye. They hadn't been very close growing up, and now, they had finally reconnected, realized how much they actually had in common, only to be separated forever.

"Oh, Dad!" she cried, when she saw the red in his eyes. She ran to him, and he held her close for a few brief seconds, patting her back before releasing her.

"There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."

I felt a wave of guilt. I wished there was some way I could make him understand, to make him hold on, and cherish her last embrace. Of course, if he knew this was the last moment they would ever have, he would never have let her go.

"I love you forever, Dad," Bella said through her tears. "Don't forget that."

"You, too, Bells. Always have, always will." _Oh, my sweet little girl. What am I going to do without you?_

Charlie's mind was rarely so clear to me, and for a second, I thought he'd spoken the words out loud. Then, they kissed each other on the cheeks, and I tried not to see the goodbye in Bella's eyes as she stepped away.

"Call me," he said.

"Soon."

"Go on, then. Don't want to be late."

As he waved goodbye, his mind was suddenly an open book. I saw a picture so clear, it could have been one of Alice's visions. Charlie wasn't looking toward the future, though. He was seeing the past. For one brief moment, he was looking at Bella on the day she was born, holding her hand for the first time. I tried to hold onto it, to memorize the look in his eyes as he gazed at his baby girl. This was something I wanted to be able to share with Bella later, to describe to her her father's love, when all her human memories had started to fade.

I had next to no memory of my mother, the woman who fought so hard to save me, even as she lay dying. But through Carlisle's mind, I was able to see her, and understand on some level just how deeply she had loved me. That was one of his many gifts to me, this tiny piece of her, and I vowed in that moment that, through me, Charlie would always stay alive in Bella's heart.

Bella's hand was clutched tightly in mine, and I knew our exit could not be delayed any longer. "Are you ready?" I asked.

"I am." There was no doubt in her voice, no hesitation in her eyes. She was ready for us to start our future.

I kissed her again, to the wild applause of our friends and family, and we raced to the car under a canopy of rice. Bella climbed in first, and I hurried in beside her. I couldn't help but be a little proud as I watched her wave, and whisper "I love you's" to the watching crowd. She'd made it through the day, through all of Alice's crazy planning, through the congratulations and the dancing, the tears and goodbyes. And somehow, at the end of it all, she was still smiling. Her eyes were bright with nothing but excitement, and love for me, as we drove off into the night.

I squeezed her hand. "I love you."

She rested her head on my arm and sighed. "That's why we're here."

The sky was clear, and we could see the stars peeking through the trees. I relished the way Bella relaxed into my side, even as I increased our speed, and we flew down the highway. Yes, Bella had changed a lot since our first days together. She'd grown to trust me completely and in all things. She'd shown me that trust time and again, from the first time we visited my meadow together, to her leaving her life in my care when we were faced with enemies from all sides. Now, she was showing me her trust by letting me take her to an unknown destination, and once again, putting her life – body, heart, and soul – in my hands. She showed no fear as we drove off into the night.

And she showed no sadness or regret as the sounds of her heartbroken best friend filled the air.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hello again. Sorry this one took so long. Computer issues caused me to lose part of the chapter, but all is good again. Aside from that, for obvious reasons, it was really important to me to get this one just right. I hope you all enjoy, it was definitely fun to write. For once, I was actually happy for Stephenie Meyer's "fade to black," because, well . . . imagination is a great thing, and I got to have total freedom with this part. :)

Thanks for your patience as I try to balance real life with my Twi-love. If it's any consolation, this chapter is about twice as long as my usual ones. Thanks also for all the reviews and words of encouragement. Sorry I'm not able to respond to them all, but please know how much I appreciate you. I do try to respond to all PM's though, so if you would like to hear from me, or have a specific question, please send me a PM. Now, on to Isle Esme!

Chapter 5

Isle Esme

Bella had been relaxed for most of the drive, leaning against my shoulder and idly tracing circles on the back of my hand. As soon as we reached the airport and stepped out of the car, however, she began shaking with nervous energy. She gripped my hand as we made our way through the crowd, her face a mask of deep concentration, her eyes searching every sign we passed. That was when I realized where her anxiety was coming from. Now that we were nearing our departure, she thought she would figure out where I was taking her.

I barely suppressed a laugh as we stepped up to our gate. "Houston?" she asked, eying me skeptically.

"Just a stop along the way," I teased, smiling as she scowled.

Eventually, she shrugged and rolled her eyes, not even bothering to ask where we were going to end up. By now, she must have known I wouldn't be divulging any secrets. As we settled into our first-class seats, she looked around the airplane and her expression grew weary.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." Her voiced dropped to a whisper. "It's just, well, the last time we were on a plane, we were coming back from visiting my Mom. I thought that was the last time I would ever see her."

She gave me a small, sad smile, and I reached up to touch her cheek. "I'm glad your Mother was there to see you get married."

"Me too." She was quiet for a moment, and then her eyes brightened. "Thank you for that, by the way. I didn't realize how much it would mean to me. Charlie walking me down the aisle. Mom seeing me in my dress." She yawned suddenly, and then giggled. "It was a perfect day, but I guess it was pretty exhausting, too. Would you mind if I took a little nap?"

"Of course not." I leaned in to give her a quick kiss and then pulled the blanket up around her. "Sleep, my Bella. My wife."

It made my heart soar to see the smile that lit her face at the word. "Goodnight, husband," she said softly before closing her eyes. She was fast asleep before the plane even took off.

I spent the better part of the flight watching her sleep, listening for any sign that she was going to talk as she usually did, but she was silent. She must have been more tired than I'd realized. Most of the passengers were sleeping, so I turned my overheard light off and laid my head back, still gazing at her. The first time our flight attendant walked past us, she smiled at me, and quietly asked if she could bring me anything.

"Nothing for me," I whispered. "I have everything I need."

She was young, her expression kind as her gaze drifted to Bella.

_He can't take his eyes off of her. Wonder what that kind of love feels like, _she mused.

I smiled warmly at her and she continued to check on the few passengers who were still awake. When she walked past me a couple of hours later, I simply shook and head and she nodded. She was wondering if I was ever going to sleep, so I made sure to close my eyes and feign sleep on her final rounds. Watching Bella, and listening to her heart and her breaths, had kept my mind occupied for the duration of our first flight. I had a feeling, however, the second leg of our journey would give me sufficient time to panic about what was coming next.

I reluctantly woke Bella when we were safely on the ground.

"Did I sleep the entire time?" she asked, obviously confused when she realized we were no longer in motion.

"Yes. It's okay. I know you needed the rest."

I helped a very groggy Bella off the plane, and led her through the terminals to the international flights. She seemed to wake up a little when I handed her her ticket.

"Rio de Janeiro?" she asked.

"Another stop."

She opened her mouth to question me, but closed it again and pulled my arm around her while we waited for our flight to board.

Once in our seats on the plane, I put my arms back around her and she leaned into me as best she could. She glanced up at me, looking almost embarrassed.

"Get some more sleep, you've earned it."

"If I sleep much more, I'll have gotten enough for the both of us," she teased.

I rolled my eyes. "We still have a bit of a journey ahead of us, and I doubt you're going to be able to rest for the final leg. Please, sleep."

She sighed deeply, but snuggled into me and closed her eyes.

I was happy to see her sleep peacefully again. As I'd feared, though, the long flight that brought us closer every second to our destination made me all the more aware of the fact that we were officially on our honeymoon. We were less than a day away from Isle Esme, where Bella would put her her life in my hands yet again. Her heart, her body, her beautiful soul – she'd given it all to me. Knowing she trusted me so completely was an incredible honor, and the greatest gift I could ever have wished to receive. Unfortunately, it was also utterly terrifying.

I couldn't help but think back to that first day alone together, so long ago. I had taken her to my meadow, the place I felt the most content, and hoped that I had the strength to keep her safe from the monster that was always just under the surface. I was afraid, being so far away from the world, from anyone that could have stopped me from harming her, but she followed me without hesitation. I remembered that her own faith in me had ended up being my saving grace. Every time I felt temptation was taking over, I could see in her eyes that she believed in me, and it kept the monster at bay. She always knew I had the strength to control myself, even when I didn't believe it myself. Perhaps that same faith and confidence would get me through this next chapter in our lives.

Bella slept quietly for the remainder of the flight, until the plane began its descent. As we neared the airport, she stirred, stretching and sighing as she regained consciousness.

"Are we there yet?" she asked with a smirk.

"Why Mrs. Cullen, are you getting anxious?" I teased back.

"You know how I feel about unsolved mysteries."

"Yes, but as I recall, those mysteries used to keep you up at night."

"There was only one that ever did," she reminded me, blushing and ducking her head into my chest.

"How far we've come," I said softly, kissing her forehead.

"Are _you_ anxious?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. I could feel the heat radiating off her skin as her blush intensified.

"Anxious. Nervous. Petrified, actually." Her arms tightened around me, and I worried I might have upset her. I reached down and lifted her chin until her eyes met mine. "But completely ecstatic that I am yours, and you are mine, and soon I will have you all to myself."

She grinned up at me and I leaned down to kiss her. Yes, I had to believe that the look in her eyes, and the way she loved me, would be enough to make this work. We'd conquered every other obstacle that had come our way. Surely, I could make love to my wife without breaking her or biting her. I just had to remember to control my strength and my desire, and not get lost in her the way it was so easy to do.

As we exited the plane, Bella clung to me, arms wrapped around my waist. It couldn't be that she was still tired, not with all she'd slept, so I assumed she simply didn't want to let me go, even for a second. The thought made me smile, and I grew that much more determined to make this honeymoon perfect for her.

When we were in the taxi, I directed the driver to the dock where our boat awaited us. It wasn't until I had stepped onto the boat, secured out bags, and reached for my lovely wife's hand that a wave of excitement hit me. It had been so long since I'd been on a boat, and the idea of speeding away toward paradise with Bella at my side was thrilling. As we took off through the water, leaving the world behind, a huge grin took over my face. I heard Bella take a deep breath and her heart started to race..

"Are we going much farther?" she asked. I peeked over my shoulder to see her hands tightly clutched to her seat.

"About another half hour," I answered, debating whether or not I should slow down. Deciding she would probably rather we get there quickly, I kept up our speed and smile reassuringly at her. It wasn't long before I could see the faint outline of Isle Esme in the distance. I waited until I was fairly certain she'd be able to see it as well, before calling back to her.

"Bella, look there," I said, pointing.

I glanced over my shoulder as she leaned forward in her seat and squinted into the distance. She was holding her breath as she searched for our mystery destination, and then I saw recognition in her eyes. The moon was shining brightly, illuminating the pristine beach.

"Where are we?" she whispered, her eyes full of wonder.

"This is Isle Esme."

I pulled up to the dock and turned off the engine. I could hear nothing but the waves, and Bella's shallow breathing.

"Isle _Esme_?" she asked, her eyes still wide as she took it all in.

"A gift from Carlisle – Esme offered to let us borrow it."

She didn't say anything, though she looked at me wistfully for a moment. I set our suitcases on the dock, and with a grin, scooped a very surprised Bella up into my arms.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?"

"I'm nothing if not thorough."

With our trunks in the opposite hand, I happily carried my bride toward the beautiful house that would be home for as long as Bella wished. There really was no time frame anymore, no deadlines or dates looming over us. We could stay here for days, or weeks, or months, and Bella could remain human for as long as she wanted. I was oddly at ease, now that we had arrived, even considering all that was before us. We still hadn't really discussed the exact "when" or "how" regarding her transformation, and I supposed that had made it easier to simply forget it was inevitable. I refused to think about the fact that, unless something miraculously changed her mind, Bella would be leaving the island a vampire.

I'd considered many times asking Bella if we should return home, so that Carlisle could be present just in case I couldn't stop, or if something went wrong, but I felt I already knew what she would say. She trusted me completely, and seeing as we were now husband and wife – and about to be joined in _every _way possible – this was between us alone. She wanted her new life to start with only me. Besides, it made sense that she should be as far away from humans as possible in the beginning. I would not allow her to be near temptation, or to be put in that kind of pain, until she'd gotten her blood lust under control. We had the boat, and we could find somewhere to hunt nearby. I could keep her happy and fed without putting her in the path of humans.

It wasn't until we were nearly to the house that I realized Bella's heart was pounding against my chest, and then, of course, I felt foolish. I was stewing over the details of her transformation, and her early vampire months, when there was an equally large obstacle we would be facing much sooner. I stared down at her, trying to read her expression, but she wouldn't look up at me. It made sense that the reality of what we were about to attempt was sinking in, but I wanted to know exactly what was driving her body's reactions. Certainly anticipation could account for a rapid heartbeat, but her breathing was shallow as well, and she was trembling slightly. Was she scared, now that we were really and truly alone, or simply anxious? She'd convinced me this was what she wanted more than anything, even more than rushing into immortality and the life she ultimately wanted. Now, perhaps it seemed too impossible, even to her.

I set our things down so I could open the door, and then I returned my stare to Bella, willing her to meet my eyes before we stepping inside. I had to know this was still what she wanted. I was happy to just be able to call her my wife. We didn't need more. We didn't need to prove anything, and we didn't need to take this risk just so that she could check off one more human experience. I gazed down at her, silently pleading. _You can still change your mind. _

As if she could suddenly read my thoughts, she looked up at me, and her eyes beckoned me onward. I stepped across the threshold, my eyes never leaving hers. Somehow, there was a finality to the moment. We'd made it this far, and there was no stopping us now.

Bella looked around while I walked her through the house, flipping on lights in each room until we reached the final bedroom. I could feel her skin radiating heat as she pressed her head further into my chest, taking it all in. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful place to begin my life as Bella's husband. Of course, I'd seen it many times before in Carlisle and Esme's minds, but their memories didn't do it justice. The ocean and the white sand beach were so close, they felt like an extension of the house. It was a perfect night, the moon shining brightly, and casting just the right amount of light into the room. When I took my eyes away from the scene just outside our door, I noticed that Bella's eyes were fixed on the large bed directly in front of us. Her heart pounded frantically as I set her on her feet, and I resisted the urge to ask what she was thinking. I had to trust that if she was having doubts or fears, she would tell me.

I set her down, deciding she probably needed a moment to herself. "I'll . . . go get the luggage."

I tried to take my time getting our things, but I found myself anxious to get back to her the moment she left my sight. When I returned, she'd barely moved, but her hand was reaching out and grazing across the bed. The room was warm, and I noticed she was beginning to perspire. I touched the back of her neck, cooling her and wiping away the drops there.

"It's a little hot here," I said, wondering if perhaps I'd over corrected. "I thought . . . that would be best."

"Thorough," she said, repeating my earlier sentiment. I laughed quietly, remembering all the time I'd spent thinking through the details of our stay – everything from the exact temperature the room should be, to ensuring the most comfortable of bedding, to making sure the kitchen was stocked with everything Bella could possibly want to eat.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this . . . easier."

I heard Bella's breath catch, and she swallowed nervously. She started to shiver, and it only fueled my own anxiety. All the preparations in the world weren't going to make this _easy_.

"I was wondering," I said softly, "if . . . first . . . maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" I realized my own voice was nearly shaking, which couldn't possibly be doing anything to help Bella's nerves. I took a deep breath, and tried to steady my voice. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."

"Sounds nice." She was trying to mask her fear, but I was too attuned to her. I knew she wasn't ready quite yet, and I wished I could make her understand that we didn't need to rush anything. There was no hurry. We could just enjoy being here together, finally just the two of us, away from everything that had ever threatened to tear us apart.

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two . . . It was a long journey," I said, knowing she needed a little more time alone. She nodded, and I kissed the soft skin below her ear. I was suddenly very anxious to experience her sweet scent, mixed with the sea water and all the exotic flowers of the island. I laughed quietly, intoxicated, and feeling almost lightheaded.

"Don't take _too _long, Mrs. Cullen." She tensed a little at my words, so I trailed my lips down her neck to her shoulder, relaxing her while I breathed her in again. "I'll wait for you in the water."

She was still as a statue as I walked toward the door leading out to the beach, taking my shirt off on the way. I wasn't sure whether she was still watching me, and I didn't turn to look, when I removed the rest of my clothing and placed it beside a nearby tree. I took my time stepping out into the warm water, enjoying the feeling of it lapping around me, and the soft sand beneath my feet. The air was warm, with hardly any breeze, and the moon was shining brightly in the cloudless sky. It was beautiful and serene, and everything I'd hoped it would be. I lifted my hands until my palms were lying flat against the water. The sensation of the water underneath my hands was calming, and the stillness of the air helped me clear my head.

This was it. There would be no turning back now. Inside the house, I could fool myself into believing I could delay this, convincing her to enjoy being here together first. But here, standing naked in the water, waiting for my wife to join me, our path was clear. There couldn't be a more perfect or more romantic setting, and Bella had given me everything I'd asked for, everything I'd longed for, to get us to this moment. She'd married me, and to my great delight, she'd ended up having a wonderful time at the wedding. More importantly, she finally understood, at least to some degree, why it meant so much to me, and she'd been genuinely happy as we recited our vows.

There was nothing stopping us now, nothing except my own fear, and I knew I had only a matter of minutes before she would be standing beside me. I would find a way to maintain control. I had to. Somehow, I would manage not to hold her too tightly, though I knew I would want nothing more. I could stay focused, and remember to be careful with her. I could do this one thing for her, before she gave up her life and her soul so we could have forever.

I heard the sound of her wildly beating heart as soon as she stepped outside, followed by her slow, measured steps. She paused once, then continued, slightly faster than before. I waited, not turning to watch her as I wanted to. I didn't want to make her any more nervous than she already was. I knew the moment she was in the water. I could feel her presence drawing closer to me with every step she took. My chest tightened, my breath caught, and I realized every single part of me was responding to her in a very human way. I felt vulnerable in a way I never really had before, and when she stopped, resting her hand on top of mine, it was like coming home.

"Beautiful," she said, and from the corner of my eye, I could see she was staring up at the sky. The world around me that had appeared so flawless just minutes ago, now paled into insignificance. The island itself might as well have disappeared, now that Bella was with me.

"It's all right," I said simply, turning to see her better. I joined our hands together, pulling them gently into the water and enjoying the feeling of our skin feeling nearly the same temperature. "But I wouldn't use the word _beautiful. _Not with you standing here in comparison."

She smiled, and I could almost hear her usual disbelief when I complimented her. She didn't say a word, though. Instead, she placed the hand that wasn't twined with mine up over my heart. There was so much love in that small gesture, and the look in her eyes told me how much she wanted me. All of me. It felt like every muscle in my body tightened in response, and my desire for her flared. It was fast and intense, and I was suddenly unsure of myself. If one touch could crush me like that, how was I going to feel when our entire bodies were pressed together?

"I promised we would _try_," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "If . . . if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

One of my greatest fears was that I would hurt her, and she would try to hide it from me, to preserve my feelings, or because she feared I would stop. She had to be honest with me. This was entirely new to us both, the blind leading the blind, and I had to wonder how much good all my practice watching her expressions and measuring her responses would be, when neither of us knew what to expect.

She nodded, her gaze fixed on mine and she took another very deliberate step toward me. Her body was flush against mine as she rested her head on my chest, and we both took in the sensation of being closer than we'd ever been.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered. "We belong together."

It was impossible to deny it, now that we were together like this. Nothing had ever felt more right. I wrapped my arms around her, basking in the feeling of her skin on mine. "Forever," I said. It might as well have been the first time I'd uttered the word. I had always thought of eternity as a curse, too long in a pointless existence. Now, all I wanted was Bella beside me, and no amount of time could have been enough.

As I carried her out into deeper water, Bella wrapped her legs around me and I hugged her tightly. My body was already tensed with anticipation, and after so many times pulling back, stopping things from going any further, it was a strange, heady thing not to have to.

"I love you so much," I whispered, kissing her softly as we let our bodies slowly start to connect. A feeling of completion unlike anything I'd ever known washed over me. It was pure bliss. I felt as if I was coming back to life, like I suddenly needed my breath, and my heart was about to beat again. I ran my fingers through her hair, amazed yet again that we'd made it this far. It all seemed so impossible, but here we were, in our own perfect moment.

I moved very slowly, needing the closeness I'd denied so long. Her quiet sigh abruptly turned into a sharp gasp and I held her still again. I pulled back to look at her, and her eyes were shut tightly. I pressed my forehead to hers, fighting the panic that was rising up in me. I struggled to remember that I was prepared for this. I knew it wasn't something that could be helped, just the simple fact that this was her first time, too.

Then, she opened her eyes and gazed up into mine, seeming to push aside whatever discomfort she was feeling.

"I'm okay," she promised, as a smile tugged at her lips. "More than okay, actually." To punctuate her words, she very deliberately lifted her hips and moved against me. I groaned, every thought disappearing. As my senses returned, I forced my grip on her to loosen slightly, and the motion of the waves continued to move us gently up and down.

Bella closed her eyes again, pressing her face into the crook of my neck and planting soft kisses there as the ocean swayed us. I traced my fingers from her shoulder down her chest, to where she disappeared into the water. Again, she seemed to know what I was thinking, and she peeked up at me shyly.

"Do you want to go inside?" she asked.

Without a word, I lifted her up and scooped her into my arms, running us into the house in seconds. Not setting her down, I went to the bathroom and grabbed a large, soft towel. Then, I released her, standing us at the foot of the bed. My eyes still fixed on hers, I wrapped the towel around her and began gently drying the water from her skin. As her eyes drifted across my body, I was very aware of the fact that I was standing naked in front of her. When she looked back up at me, there was a look of reverence in her eyes I didn't quite understand.

I was determined not to make her feel uncomfortable, or to take anything too fast, but without a word, she took a step closer to me and let the towel fall off her shoulders. Slowly, she wrapped it around me, mirroring my actions and drying my skin. I ran my fingers down her arms as I had in the water, but this time I continued until they brushed gently across her breasts. It wasn't until she sighed and closed her eyes that I let my gaze travel downward. Bella was breathtaking, and I couldn't find words strong enough for everything I was feeling.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, wishing there was something more to say.

Suddenly, Bella dropped the towel and had her arms wrapped around me. She was crushing herself to me, her head pressed into my chest. "I love you so much," she said, her voice shaking, but in a very different way than before. She wasn't nervous or scared anymore. She was overcome with love.

It caught me so off guard, all I could do was hold her. She turned her head so her lips were against me, and she started trailing kisses across my chest. Then, she stood up onto her tiptoes, trying to get even closer, and ran her fingers through my hair. When I looked down at her, there were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling the widest grin I'd ever seen. And it was a moment of absolute clarity. For the first time, I understood why this experience meant to much to her, and why she wasn't willing to give up her humanity without it.

Yes, she would soon be as I was, with eternity stretched our before us, but right here, right now, this was who we were, who we'd always been. We were a human and a vampire, loving each other against all odds, together even though it seemed impossible. We'd conquered everything that had ever threatened to tear up apart, and for all we'd been through, we deserved this. After all the times my family had accused me of not believing I was worthy of the happiness I'd received, somehow it had taken standing here with Bella like this to make me see it. We deserved this moment, one that by all logic and reason, shouldn't have been possible. We deserved to be together in every way, while we were still just a human and a vampire beating the odds.

My lips captured hers, and as I lowered us down to the bed, I was no longer afraid. I was all desire, and love, and joy. I hovered over her, careful not to put too much weight on her, but her fingers were gripping my shoulders, trying to pull me closer. My thoughts left me, my body's responses instinctual, and I was helpless not to give her whatever she wanted. I brought myself down until we were pressed together tightly, and when we were joined again, I was overwhelmed by how amazing it felt, like this was what I'd been missing all of my existence.

There was no trace of pain on Bella's face this time. It was as right for her as it was for me, and the knowledge that we fit together so perfectly was satisfying and comforting. She smiled up at me knowingly. Bella had been right, of course. Encouraged, and finally believing I wasn't going to hurt her, I started to move again. Bella's eyes closed but her hands never stopped exploring my body. As she traced her fingers across my skin, I felt my grip on her tighten. A voice somewhere in the back of my mind told me I might be holding her too tightly, but she didn't tell me to stop, and I was so glad because I wasn't sure I would have been able to.

As she showered kisses along my arms and chest, her legs hitched up around me and drew me in closer. My breath caught and my head spun, my lips dropping down to her neck. There was no thought as I kissed her frantically, and when my tongue darted out to taste her skin, I felt venom pool in my mouth.

I froze. It had been so long since I'd ached for her blood that way, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like.

"Edward," she breathed, probably sensing my sudden hesitation. The longing in her voice pulled me back to the present long enough to collect my thoughts, and I realized how close I'd been to biting down. I was utterly horrified at my lapse in control, and it was then that I realized my hands had moved to her chest, and my fingers were gripping her ribs with far more force than should have been allowed.

"Are you okay?" I asked, panicked.

Her only response was to kiss me harder, her tongue tracing the outline of my lips, and I knew she had no idea how the monster inside was responding to her. When she opened her eyes again, the absolute love I saw there was the only thing that kept me from pulling away. The way she was looking at me gave me courage again, and I knew I couldn't ruin this for her. I, apparently, hadn't hurt her, though I clenched my hands guiltily into the sheets, remembering all too well the feeling of holding her more tightly than I ever had. She smiled at me happily, lifting her nose to touch mine, and giggled sweetly.

"You're sure you're okay?" I repeated, needing to be sure.

"I've never been better."

It was enough to renew my resolve, though I decided then that any further neck kissing was strictly off limits. Her hand reached around and tugged at my back, trying to bring me closer, so I placed my forearms onto the mattress and pressed my body to hers, keeping most of my weight in my arms.

"Mmm," she sighed, kissing me again as she lifted her hips up to me. I clenched my eyes shut at the sensation, and fought the urge to grab her again. My fingers dug into the bed as I struggled to maintain control, but she was rocking us back and forth, when what I really needed was to stop long enough to pull myself together. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew I was a thousand times stronger than her, and fully capable of ceasing her movements. The problem was, I didn't want to. I _couldn't _make myself stop her. It was the greatest pleasure I'd ever know, so much more powerful than I'd imagined.

I could feel that I was losing myself, giving every part of me over to her completely, and I was powerless to stop. It was too wonderful. More than that, it felt right, letting her lead me. She could show me exactly what she wanted, and she wouldn't guide me into anything that would hurt her. She leaned her head back, resting onto the pillow, and stared up into my eyes. I wasn't sure what she saw in my expression, but her eyes were suddenly questioning.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said, stilling her body and finally granting me a moment of reprieve. Unfortunately, I still hadn't gathered my thoughts well enough to describe what I was feeling. How could I explain it right? There were no words.

"Just that I'm entirely yours," I said simply.

She smiled, and pressed her hand against my heart again. "And I'm yours. Forever."

As I leaned down to kiss her, her hands moved to my back, and she pulled me close until we were flush against each other again. I could feel her heart beating against my chest, so strong it felt like my own heartbeat. She clung to me desperately, like I was going to disappear. I kissed every inch of her face, and when my lips found her closed eyelids, I tasted the salt of her tears.

"Bella?" I whispered, but she shook her head.

"I'm just happy," she promised, laughing shyly as she peeked up at me through her wet eyelashes.

I couldn't help but laugh myself. With each passing second, I found myself wondering why this had this seemed so impossible.

"Come here," I said, scooting back and gently lifting Bella up so we were sitting beside each other. I kissed her shoulder, and cautiously leaned in to trail my nose across the soft skin from her collarbone to her neck. It was easier, now that we weren't joined together, and I once again found myself basking in her perfect scent. It was the sweetest torture.

"Do you know how you drive me crazy?" I said, brushing my lips cautiously across her neck.

"Who's driving _who _crazy now?" she said breathlessly, her eyes closing. When my mouth found hers again, she sighed, and I parted my lips so I could breathe her in. It was intoxicating, and my head started swimming. Without a word, she climbed into my lap, wrapping her legs around me.

"Edward, I need you," she said, breathing the words into my ears like a prayer.

I felt her fingers graze along my sides, up my arms, and back into my hair, and logic and reason left me again. All I could think of was how much I needed her, too. Before I knew it, I'd pushed her back onto the bed. I grabbed her leg and brought it back up around me. She wasted no time pulling the other up, until her entire body was hugging me, begging me for more, and I was eager to comply.

She was kissing me up and down my shoulder and neck, and when I felt her teeth graze my skin, I was hit by a nearly incapacitating rush of desire. I was barely aware that I'd turned my head, and my teeth had bitten down on the pillow that lay beside us. Bella was frantic beneath me, pulling and clutching me to her, and it was all I could not to turn toward her and return her passion. But I was too terrified that it wouldn't be a pillow I bit next time.

"Kiss me," she pleaded, and once again, I was helpless to resist her. My lips moved to hers, and everything felt right for a fleeting moment.

Then, my muscles started to twitch and my hands searched desperately for anything to grab that wasn't Bella, so soft and breakable. I grabbed the headboard, but she reached up and threaded her fingers through mine, pulling my hands down and placing them on her. She was kissing me again, not giving me the chance to argue, and I held her like she was the only thing tying me to the Earth.

"I'm not hurting you?" I managed to ask, though I didn't stop moving long enough to hear a response. She shook her head quickly, like she was afraid I was going to stop, then I felt her nails drag up my back. And it was my undoing.

I groaned, thrusting hard against her, and she cried out. I was too far gone to be able to tell whether it was a cry of pleasure or pain. The venom pooled again, and I barely turned my head in time to bite down on another pillow. I was nothing but sensation, every nerve in my body sparking, bringing me back to life, as I felt Bella's fingers tugging at my hair.

I muttered something incoherent as I spiraled, my vision blurring, and every thought in my mind vanished – everything except, _I love you, I love you. _

Time stood still as I hugged Bella's body to mine, until eventually consciousness returned to me. I was vaguely aware that Bella's breathing had steadied, and her grip on my hair had loosened and slowed into a gentle caress.

"I love you, too" she finally whispered. I realized I must have actually spoken the words aloud. I felt her lips on my hair, and I turned to see her grinning widely at me. It was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen.

"Are you – " I couldn't even form the question, I was so terrified of the answer. I'd been so determined to stay in control, but I'd lost myself, and my mind instantly starting replaying the events, trying to determine whether I'd hurt her in my own weakness.

"I'm wonderful," she said, her voice soft, sweet, and reassuring. My head fell down to the bed beside her and I felt a smile tug at my lips.

Still tangled up with me, she shifted and twisted until she was lying on her side, facing me. She reached a hand up and touched my cheek, pouring every ounce on love she had into one gesture and one look.

"For the first time, I think I'm actually excited for you to listen in on my dreams."

I smiled, placing my hand over hers, loving the feeling of her heated skin on my face. "And why is that?"

"Because I'll be dreaming of you, of _this_, all night."

She blushed, scooting closer to me until her head was resting against my chest. I grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around her, hoping she would still be warm enough when her blood stopped racing.

"Sleep, my Bella. My wife. I'll be listening, and loving you, every second."

My fingers running gently through her hair, I hummed her lullaby, and counted every breath, as she drifted slowly off to sleep.

It had been several hours since Bella had fallen asleep, and she hadn't spoken a word. She had, however, hummed contentedly and snuggled up closer to me, assuring me of a peaceful sleep. Now that the moon wasn't shining directly into our room, it was only dimly lit and there were shadows everywhere, dancing across the ceiling, the walls, and Bella. Then, as I watched the dark shapes move across Bella's skin, I realized with horror that they weren't all shadows. Faint bruises were beginning to form across her arms and shoulders. I gasped as I saw marks in the shape of my hand, running up and down her arm. I clenched my eyes shut, willing them to disappear. This couldn't be happening. Everything had been so perfect.

And then I realized with startling clarity that it hadn't been perfect. _I _hadn't been perfect, far from it. The self control I'd been so determined to keep had vanished the moment I'd felt Bella's warm, beautiful body wrapped around mine. I struggled to remember exactly where things had gone wrong. As if mocking me, when I opened my eyes, I noticed the cloud of feathers laying around us.

Right. The pillows. At least I'd managed to keep my teeth away from Bella.

My hands, however, were another matter. Fearing what I would find, but knowing I had to see the extent of the damage, I pulled the sheet back and scanned the rest of Bella's body. My breath caught when I saw that the marks continued down and across her ribs. My eyes shut again. That, I remembered. I knew it was too much, that I was losing whatever shred of control I had left, and I'd reached for something else, _anything _else, but she'd pulled my hands down, pressing them to her. Why hadn't I stopped her? Why had I been so willing to put her at risk. Where had all my fierce determination gone?

Disgusted with myself, I pulled the sheet back up around her and cradled her lovingly, as if that could atone for the pain I'd inflicted on her. It only took a few seconds to process that the best thing for her, and for her comfort in the following days as the bruises worsened, was to put ice on them. Unable to leave her side to retrieve some from the freezer, I offered up the next best thing. Slowly, carefully, I placed my hands over what seemed to be the worst of the marks, covering each one for several minutes, and then moving on to the next. Bella shivered, and cringed into my side, but she didn't wake up. I knew this would be more helpful than anything else I could do, so I continued my ministrations until the sun began to creep in through the window.

It was amazing how quickly everything had shifted – from a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that we'd once again beaten the odds, to finding out that my biggest fear had become a reality.

Bella looked so peaceful as she slept, even with the faint darkness that was starting to appear across her cheek. I wished I could keep her in that unknowing bliss until the worst was over. She would feel the pain when she woke up, would realize what a monster I truly was. She would feel, and see, what my selfishness, my weakness, had done to her. My fingers traced up and down her back as I resumed counting her breaths. It was the only thing keeping me grounded, keeping my anger with myself at bay. It seemed a strange hope, considering how long I'd fought against it, but now, I almost wished she'd ask me to change her the moment she awoke. At least then I could repair all the damage I'd done. What reason was there to wait, to heal at human speed, when I'd given her everything she'd asked for, even against my better judgment?

It was another three hours before I heard her breathing change. It was the smallest nuance, but one I'd come to know well over our many nights together. It wouldn't be long before she'd yawn and stretch, looking up at me. Would she feel it right away, with that first morning stretch? Would I see the pain in her eyes as she realized she was injured? I waited silently, but she remained still. Perhaps she already felt it, and was too afraid to move. What if it was worse than I'd imagined? What if the bruises were just the beginning? Surely she wouldn't have been able to sleep so peacefully if I'd actually cracked a rib?

The panic was welling up inside me, and I was caught completely off guard as I felt Bella hug herself closer to me, gripping my neck with surprising force. I continued to run my fingers along her spine, waiting for her to speak. Instead of her words, however, I heard her laughter. It was a very unexpected sound, all things considered.

"What's funny?" I asked, trying to keep the agony out of my tone.

Oddly, I felt Bella's skin flush and she hugged me again. Then, her stomach growled and she laughed again.

"You just can't escape being human for very long," she said.

I knew she would look at me soon, and I just wasn't ready to face her yet. I titled my head back slightly, and stared at the ceiling, wishing the room would just swallow me up. I felt her gaze on me, and I could barely imagine the look in her eyes.

"Edward, what is it?" she asked, her voice broken. "What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?"

When she didn't respond, I knew it was time to face her, and whatever she might be feeling toward me. I looked down at her, and was startled to see only confusion and worry on her face. She didn't _look _like she was hurting, but the bruises that were darkening with each passing minute told me otherwise. I carefully reached out and touched her forehead, my thumb gliding over her skin as I struggled to understand what was behind her expression.

"What are you thinking?" I asked desperately.

Her voice was soft, almost frightened, and I wondered if she was scared to admit whatever pain she was feeling. "You're upset. I don't understand. Did I . . . ?"

Her words disappeared, and I could barely form the question, but I had to know. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" she asked, sounding incredulous.

I raised an eyebrow. So she _was_ going to downplay it to make me feel better. I watched as she stretched her muscles, her expression tightening just a little as moved. At least I was satisfied I hadn't actually broken any ribs. Even Bella wouldn't be able to hide her reaction to something like that. Then, she scowled at me and I braced myself.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion?" she asked angrily. "I've never been better than I am now."

I shut my eyes, wondering why she was concerned with sparing my feelings. I certainly hadn't earned her compassion, not after I'd been so careless with her. "Stop that," I demanded.

"Stop _what_?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" Her voice was a strained whisper, and her eyes were filled with sorrow. "Don't ever say that."

How could I think anything otherwise? The proof of my unforgivable actions were all over her skin, marring it, and reminding me of how little restraint I'd shown. In what ridiculous world had I thought losing myself in her was a safe, acceptable response to what I had been feeling? I shouldn't have let myself go like that.

I couldn't stand to gaze again upon the damage I'd done, so I kept my eyes shut as I told her, "Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

I listened closely and it was only a few seconds before I heard Bella gasp. Which mark had she seen first? Was it her ribs, or maybe the hand prints that we scattered up and down her arms? I felt the slightest twinge of relief that she was startled by them. They must not be bothering her as much as I'd feared. Of course, they were barely beginning to form. She'd be more sore as the day went on. I waited, wondering what she'd say, now that she understood what I'd done, so I was surprised by the first question she asked.

"Why am I covered in feathers?"

Exasperated, and wishing she would just say what needed to be said, I sighed and opened my eyes. "I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You . . . bit a pillow? _Why?_"

"Look, Bella!" I said, trying not to shout. She cringed away at my sharp tone, but I took her hand and held her arm out so she would be for forced to look. I kept my eyes on hers as she took in her damaged body, trying to read her expression, and waited to see the hurt and anger. She pulled her hand out of mine and, though it was nothing less than I deserved, it was painful to feel her retreat from me. She'd put all her trust in me, and I'd failed her.

I placed my hand lightly over one of the bruises I'd left, then another, and another.

"Oh," she said softly.

Her eyebrows pulled together as she processed everything, and all I could do was apologize, uselessly.

"I'm . . . so sorry, Bella," I said, her eyes still not meeting mine. "I knew better than this. I should not have –" There were so many things I shouldn't have done – agreed to put her at risk in the first place, given myself over to her, let her lead me when she was so soft and fragile, held her when I knew I was losing control. I was nearly snarling at myself as I tried to find words that would mend the damage I'd done. "I am more sorry than I can tell you."

Unable to watch her blank expression any longer, I leaned my head back and put my arm across my eyes. It was silent for a long time, except for Bella's surprisingly steady heartbeat and her quiet breaths. Eventually, I felt her hand on my arm, but I didn't move. I was still at a loss for words. She needed to speak next. I had to know exactly how angry she was with me. Then, her hand held my wrist and I felt her pulling harder, but I wasn't ready to face her again.

"Edward," she said, then again, more forcefully. "Edward?" There was an irritated sigh before she spoke again. "_I'm _not sorry, Edward. I'm . . . I can't even tell you. I'm _so _happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f– "

I couldn't take it any more. I just couldn't stand to hear her pretending this was nothing.

"Do not say the word _fine,_" I snapped. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am_," she insisted.

Compared with what? Not being stalked by newborns, or battered and broken by a crazed vampire, or any of the other things she'd survived because of me? Her tolerance for pain and injury was certainly higher than the average human's. That didn't mean this was _nothing, _or that she was fine."Bella. Don't," I begged.

"No. _You _don't, Edward."

I'd been expecting her anger, but this wasn't the direction I'd expected it to go. She was mad at me for, what, accepting all the blame, as I deserved? I lifted my arm, chancing a glance at her, and her eyes were frustrated, but pleading.

"Don't ruin this," she said fiercely. "I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this."

"Cut it out." She was glaring at me, refusing to accept my apologies. When I didn't say anything else, she groaned. "Ugh! Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so _inconvenient _to be a mental mute!"

Stunned, I momentarily forgot my self-loathing. "That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today." She was scowling again, and I struggled to understand what she was trying to tell me.

"Why?"

Instead of an answer, I got a sharp slap on the chest with both of her hands. The sound was so loud, I wondered if she'd hurt herself further. "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or give minutes ago, anyway. I _was _perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

I'd been so prepared for her anger, and it was almost a relief she was finally showing it. I still didn't understand why she wouldn't let me accept the blame, but at least we were talking about it, not arguing whether she was or was not _fine_.

"You _should _be angry at me," I said softly.

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

It was a step in the right direction, but nothing was going to make me forgive myself. "No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That_," she shouted, her expression seething. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz, _Edward."

I rolled my eyes. Yes, it definitely would have been better if she could have just stayed asleep, peacefully unaware that the night had gone terribly wrong. She sat, glowering at me, and I felt as if we'd come to a standstill. I was furious at myself for hurting her when we were supposed to be making love, cherishing each other, and feeling only joy and pleasure. She was angry at me for hating myself, and I couldn't fathom why. Why shouldn't I feel terrible? And why wasn't she more upset with me?

Then, her expression softened and she leaned toward me. "We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She touched her arm, but I couldn't make myself take my eyes off of hers. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice – "

My anger flared again, and for the first time, some of it was actually directly at Bella. I suddenly felt that she hadn't been honest with me. She'd spent so long reassuring me, convincing me she believed with all her heart that we could be together without me hurting her. Now, it sounded as though she'd always expected this, that she knew she wouldn't make it through unscathed, and she'd somehow accepted that.

"Assumed?" I growled, struggling to keep the ire out of my voice. "Did you _expect_ this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?"

I realized I was fuming, my breathing having sped up as my fists clenched at my sides. Bella's face remained surprisingly calm, and she appeared to be waiting, though for what, I wasn't sure. Eventually, I felt my anger dissipate, and I worried for a moment I had frightened her. She was watching me calmly, though, and when she spoke, her voice was soft and comforting.

"I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely did not expect how . . . how . . . just how wonderful and perfect it was." She blushed, then, her eyes dropping to her hands, which were fidgeting nervously. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

I was startled by how quickly her anger had left, and her shy, insecurities had returned. From a quickly escalating shouting match, we were suddenly conversing about the more . . . enjoyable aspects of last night. She was blushing wildly. I lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes, but she refused to meet my gaze.

"Is that what you're worried about? That I didn't _enjoy _myself?"

It felt absurd that she could even think such a thing. As the memories washed over me, the indescribable joy and pleasure, the idea felt more and more ridiculous, but the sadness in her eyes told me she was truly doubting. I was about to speak, but her whispered voice stopped me.

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I'd been so focused on the pain I might have caused her, that I hadn't stopped to think about the fact that she'd been happy last night, too. We had learned each other, felt each other, talked, and laughed even, as we joined together perfectly. I realized then, that this wasn't the first time during the conversation she'd tried to tell me how wonderful last night had been for her. I just wasn't able to hear it, when all I could see were the bruises I'd left behind in the wake of my passion.

At first, I had assumed she was just trying to pacify me, to ease my guilt the way she always did. Something in her tone now, though, had changed. She wasn't placating me, she was being honest, and the look on her face told me this honestly was difficult for her. And here I was, just trying to continue the fight. Her eyes finally met mine, and there was a sadness there that almost looked like regret. When I thought back to the happiness that had been there when she'd first woken up, a fresh wave of guilt washed over me..

"It seems that I have more to apologize for," I said quietly. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't .. . well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were . . ."

I paused when I saw a smile tugging at her lips. She was still blushing, and hope appeared to be replacing the regret I'd seen. "Really?" she asked. "The best ever?"

I reached up to cradle her face in my hands, gazing into her eyes and wondering how to make her understand. She believed the experience would be different for me, because I wasn't human. Of course, I couldn't know for sure since I still couldn't see into her mind, but after everything I'd felt, I could only assume it was as powerful, if not more so, than it had been for her. In an existence where hardly anything was ever new, I was always grateful when something surprised me. So many things I'd experienced and felt for the first time because of Bella, but nothing had prepared me for the feeling of being inside her, tangled up in every glorious inch of her, and seeing in her eyes what I was making her feel. It was greater than anything I'd ever known, and I was desperate to find a way to make her see that.

"I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you." I felt a stab of pain as I remembered the taste of venom and the desire to take her blood, stronger than I'd ever felt it. Determined not to let that memory stop my declaration, I willed myself to continue. "He had faith in me, though – faith I didn't deserve."

Bella opened her mouth to argue with me, but I touched her lips, silencing her. I needed to finish.

"I also asked him what _I _should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me . . . what with my being a vampire." I smiled slightly, a little embarrassed, but wanting to show her I'd been curious about the same thing as she had. "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely."

I smiled at the memory. Such a huge part of Carlisle's faith in my ability to make it through this without hurting Bella, was because he understood how deeply I loved her. He saw a piece of himself, and the way he loved Esme, when he looked at how I was with Bella. If anything had granted me real assurance, it had been that belief – that love is a powerful enough force to protect and preserve those who mean the most to us.

There was still a question behind Bella's eyes, and I wished there was some way to make her fully understand just how amazing everything had been. The only way I could think to explain it, was to compare it to the only other real desire she knew I possessed.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." Perhaps that had been the reason I'd been so overwhelmed, and caught so completely off guard. They'd given me this comparison, and to prepare myself, I'd thought back to the feeling of Bella's blood on my lips, my tongue. I'd forced myself to recall how difficult it had been to stop once I knew how exquisite she was. It was agonizing, but I'd been able to keep control, because I knew Bella's life depended on it.

I somehow thought that experience would have helped give me a frame of reference. I'd made it through that, and if that was more powerful than making love, then I would be all right. I was such a fool. Bella was watching me, a concerned look on her face, and I struggled again to explain it right. "But I've tasted your blood," I continued, "and there could be no blood more potent that _that _. . . I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It _was _more. It was everything."

I wanted to believe her, to be able to bask in the memory of how perfect everything had felt, but I couldn't stop looking at the ever increasing marks I'd left all over her skin.

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong," I said miserably. "Even if it were possible that you really did feeling that way."

"What does _that _mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

"To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

I was having trouble making eye contact with her, my guilt consuming me, but before I realized it, she had grabbed my chin and we were inches apart.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable."

Again, the image of her sleeping contentedly, and giggling softly as she awoke, filled my mind. She hadn't woken to pain, or regret, as I'd feared. I let myself start to entertain the idea that perhaps it wasn't as bad as I'd suspected.

"_I've_ never been so happy in all my life," she assured me. "I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me" – I winced, but she continued, determined as ever – "or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me . . . Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio." I couldn't hide my grimace, but she didn't pause long enough for me to speak. "Or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

I stared, unbelieving, at the crease in her forehead, as I took in what she was saying. Even though we'd made mistakes – well, _I'd _made mistakes – Bella was still happy with how our first night together as husband and wife had gone. I hadn't disappointed her, or upset her, and she didn't regret anything.

I reached out to her worried face, wishing I could turn back the clock. She'd been happy, and I was too busy feeling guilty and monstrous to see it.

"I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't _you _be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

_Not the only thing, _I thought, as I fought the urge to graze my fingers across the faint bruise on her cheek. I took a deep breath, determined not to upset her further. "You're right. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She was eying me skeptically and I tried to smile sincerely. I wasn't promising my guilt would go away – even with her apparent happiness, I would never forget that I'd hurt her – but I would try to remember that we were still, in fact, on our honeymoon. We were married, and alone on a beautiful island that was ours to explore. The smile on my face had almost become real until Bella began grinning shyly at me.

"Whatever makes me happy?" she asked suggestively. I felt a twinge of panic, but fortunately, her stomach growled before she could see it on my face.

"You're hungry," I said, racing out of bed and putting my pants on in a hurry. Bella sat up amid the sea of feathers, and I absently started pulling some out of my own hair.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked.

"I don't know if I _decided _to do anything last night. We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I remembered the aching desire, her pulse beating right beneath my teeth. How easy it would have been to –

I stopped my train of thought, realizing what must have been written on my face, and quickly smiled at Bella. She returned the smile, though she looked doubtful, then scooted herself off the bed. As she stretched her arms up, I saw that the bruises extended around her rib cage, up her sides, and one disappeared around her back. The muscles in my hands twitched as I remembered grasping her far too tightly, desperate to get closer, and I turned away, disgusted with myself again.

"Do I look that hideous?" she asked, her tone teasing but nervous. I couldn't find any words to respond that wouldn't upset her further, so I remained silent, waiting until she was hidden from view in the bathroom.

I went to the kitchen and began pacing, wondering what to make for my bruised and injured – but apparently happy – wife. I once again felt utterly helpless, but in a very different way than I had last night. Just as I was about to make a breakfast decision, I heard Bella groan, and I was at her side in an instant.

"Bella?" I asked, frightened. How much worse did she feel, now that she was up and walking around? I should have insisted on bringing her breakfast in bed.

"I'll _never _get this all out of my hair!"

Clearly frustrated, she began plucking at the feathers. "You _would _be worried about your hair," I muttered, yet again baffled by her overreaction to all the wrong things. Nearly broken ribs gave her no pause, but feathers in her hair were the end of the world. Rolling my eyes, I helped get out the ones that were more difficult to reach.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous," she said, chuckling at herself.

Honestly, I hadn't even noticed there were feathers on her until she had pointed them out. My eyes had been unable to see anything but the wounds I'd inflicted.

She sighed, likely seeing the return of my dejected mood, though I was trying to hide it as best I could. "This isn't going to work," she grumbled. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned, then, her arms wrapping around my waist and a small smile tugging at her lips. "Do you want to help me?"

My chest tightened, my silent heart torn in two very different directions. On the one hand, my beautiful wife was standing naked before me, asking me to join her for a morning shower, and I was very aware of how quickly my body was responding to the prospect. On the other, some instinct deep within me – the same one that had kept me from being even the slightest bit tempted for her blood when she'd found me in Volterra, though I was more thirsty than I'd ever been – was making me shun the very idea of being that close to her again.

_Never again. Not until she's indestructible._

I made a silent vow to myself, though I hesitated the say the words aloud. I feared they would only hurt Bella's feelings. I didn't want her to take my refusal to mean that I didn't desire her. The truth was, I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity wrapped up in her arms, learning and exploring every part of her. But I couldn't. At least, not yet. For her safety, and my sanity, my need for her would have to wait until I could do no further damage.

"I'd better find some food for you," I said softly, trying to distract her by reminding her of her _other _human needs. I carefully moved her arms from my waist, feeling empty the moment they were no longer around me. The look in her eyes betrayed her hurt, and I hurried to the kitchen before my resolve could waver.

I stood in the kitchen, my eyes shut tightly against my conflicting desires, as I heard the shower water begin to run. I imagined the water cascading down her skin, and her hair as she ran her fingers through it. It was startling how quickly thoughts of her like this had taken over my mind and my senses. I had to stop, though. I couldn't think of her that way anymore, not until after she was changed. It was once again my job to protect her, and my focus now needed to be on making the best of whatever time she had left as a human, and when she was ready, preparing her for her journey into immortality.

For now, though, all I wanted was to make her a delicious breakfast, and try to make her forget the awful morning that was all my fault. To my family's great disgust, I'd spent a lot of time recently watching television shows explaining the art of cooking. I'd even practiced a few dishes, though of course, none of us could tell if they were any good. I decided on an omelet, because the concept seemed simple enough. Mix everything together and put it on the burner. Fold it, flip it, and cook until it looked moderately edible.

I heard Bella getting dressed just as I was finishing with breakfast. As she stepped out, I slid the omelet onto a plate, and looked at it hopefully. At least it was the right color.

"Here," I said, setting the plate in front of her with a smile. She started at it for about five seconds, and then began inhaling the food.

I sat across from her, watching in disbelief. Either I was a better cook than I thought, or I'd basically been starving her since our wedding day. I tried to think of the last time she'd eaten, and I realized it had to have been before the wedding. There was food served on the airplanes, but she'd slept through all of it. Still exhausted, she hadn't asked for anything at any of the airports, and I had been so distracted, thinking about where we were going and what we were about to do, that I hadn't thought to ask. I assumed Alice would have made her eat something before the wedding, but I wasn't sure. Alice could be easily distracted as well. Of course, there was food at the reception, but I couldn't seem to recall Bella eating any of it, other than the traditional bite of cake.

"I'm not feeding you often enough," I finally said, feeling guilty again. Yes, it had been a stressful couple of days, but that was no excuse for my forgetting her human needs.

"I was asleep," she said, quickly dismissing my attempt at an apology. "This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat." Her smile was impossible to resist, and I reminded myself how important it was not to sour her mood again.

"Food Network,"I answered, grinning, and genuinely happy that she was enjoying it. At least I could get some part of my new husband role right. I would make sure she ate well for as long as she chose to stay human.

She glanced down at the omelet questioningly. "Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers . . ." My eyes drifted past her to the bedroom, and memories assaulted me again, both wonderful and horrid. I supposed I would have to get used to feeling both sides of it. It was the greatest experience of my very long life, and also the more terrifying. I would never forget what it felt like not to have control. Even with her soft, fragile body beneath mine, knowing one wrong move could break her, I couldn't find the will to make myself stop or pull away.

Remembering Bella was watching me, and not wanting to upset her, I looked at her again and fixed a smile back onto my face. She was eying me me warily, but she relaxed again when she resumed eating. Before I knew it, she'd eaten every bite of her breakfast. I thought I'd made enough, but perhaps after such a long time not eating, I should have made more.

I was about to ask if she wanted something else, when she said, "Thank you," and leaned forward to kiss me. Her lips felt so good on mine, and desire coursed through my veins instantly. The intensity was frightening, and I tensed, pulling away before it took hold of me.

She looked almost angry, and her words came out biting. "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

I hadn't expected her to ask the question so bluntly, and I certain didn't want to hurt her or make her feel unwanted. I attempted a smile as I reached out to touch the delicate skin of her cheek. She melted into my touch with a sigh, and for a moment, I felt hopeful. We'd been content for so long with our soft, gentle touches, and simply being together. Somehow, I'd managed not to kill her or break her beyond repair as I granted her the one remaining human experience she wanted. Surely, now we could be happy with just this again. We could hold each other, kiss each other, and enjoy the rest of her time as a human without needing more

"You know that's not what I meant," she persisted, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice.

My hope vanished, and I let me hand fall. She did want more, she _expected_ more, and I would have to tell her no. I felt like I was letting her down, but there was no way I was going to injure her more than I already had.

"I know. And you're right." I paused, because saying the words out loud made them more final, and it crushed me to know I was about to break her heart. I didn't understand how she could still want me after all I'd done, but the fact remained that she did, and it was something I simply couldn't give her. "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."

Her face fell, and I saw tears prick at her eyes, but she didn't speak. Instead, she rose from her seat and walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind her quietly. It was the sound of total defeat.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hi again, sorry it's been so long. Thanks for everyone's patience, and your kind words. I love to hear from you guys. Life's been busy getting ready for our new little one. I've had some minor pregnancy complications, but everything is good. Just means lots more doctors appointments, and really trying to get some rest while also keeping our three-year-old entertained. Fun times.

Thanks once again to Shanda for catching all my silly mistakes (and making my laugh). You are awesome!

Chapter 6

Throughout our relationship, I'd grown fairly used to Bella's blatant disregard for her own personal safety. I'd also gotten used to her persistence when there was something she wanted. I thought I'd seen the worst of her stubbornness when she'd tried to convince me to make her a vampire. Apparently, I hadn't seen anything yet.

The defeat that had been on her face when I first told her we would not make love again until she was changed lasted only a few short hours. It was quickly replaced with fierce determination, and a near constant attempt to lure me back into her arms – and our bed.

It had been much easier to refuse her advances before that first night together, when I didn't know exactly what I was saying no to. Now, it was all I could do not to remember the feeling of her skin on mine, and her legs wrapped tightly around me. Things were made worse, of course, by the fact that Bella had taken to wearing less and less clothing. It was one thing to see her in a bikini as we swam through the warm sea, or her tank top and shorts as we explored the island together, and another entirely to see nearly every inch of her skin as climbed into bed with me. When she began wearing the short silk nightgowns Alice had packed, I found it incredibly hard to remember exactly why I couldn't allow myself to do more that hold her while she slept.

The excursions I'd intended to serve as distractions for Bella proved to be equally vital for my own sanity. During the day, we explored the island, and I basked in her obvious happiness. With each new sight, her eyes grew wide with wonder and excitement. I was finally giving her a taste of the world I'd always wanted to bring her. She'd spent her life longing to travel, and I was thrilled to be able to tell her this was just the beginning. I would take her anywhere and everywhere she'd ever wanted to go.

Our days were filled with smiles and laughter. At night, however, I was disappointing her at every turn. She would hold me, and kiss me, and all but guide my hands down along her perfect body. Still, I knew she wouldn't push too far. Her lingering fear of rejection was still prominent in her mind. As long as she was merely _hinting _at what she desired, I wasn't actually refusing her. It was as if she simply couldn't stand to hear me utter the words again.

On our third day on Isle Esme, once the initial excitement over the exotic island had begun to fade, Bella started trying to convince me to stay inside all day.

"I'm too tired to go out again," she said, flopping down on the couch. She leaned back, arms open, inviting me to join her. "Let's just lay around and watch movies today."

I felt my chest tightening and my breath catch, because the look in her eyes told me she had no desire to actually watch a movie. I could hold her in my arms while we pretended to watch whatever was on the television, but we both knew it wouldn't really be holding our interest. It was too difficult to be close to each other when we wanted more than we could have. And I just couldn't stand the thought of having to reject her again, to see her dismal expression return. Why couldn't she see that her safety was my only thought, the one thing keeping me from scooping her back into my arms and never letting go?

"Come on, let's go out to the coral reef. There are so many things I haven't showed you yet. I'm assuming you've never taken a swim with sea turtles?" I grinned as excitement lit her eyes again. It really wasn't difficult to get Bella back outside. She wouldn't say it in so many words, but I had a feeling she was trying to make up for lost time. She was soaking up all the sun that Forks had been depriving her of. Still, I knew as soon as we were in the house again, she'd get that look in her eyes. How long could I continue to ignore her advances?

The next morning, as the sun poured into the house and Bella began to stir, I felt her pull herself closer to me, as she always did. Then, her breathing changed, and she started tracing her fingers gently up and down my chest. Her head turned into me, and she kissed feather light kisses across my skin.

"Good morning, husband," she whispered.

"Good morning, my beautiful wife." I leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Are you hungry?"

"Not for food." She pressed herself closer to me and sighed deeply.

Groaning, I forced myself to sit up. "Bella," I said, shaking my head.

"But Edward," she began.

"We can't."

"Why not?" She was scowling at me, her usually happy morning mood completely gone. I felt miserable.

"You know why not," I said gently.

"Because _you _are stubborn."

"Because I refuse to harm you again."

Her glare intensified, but she didn't say another word on the subject. It was the most directly we'd spoken about it since that first morning, and I suspected she was struggling to mask how much my refusal hurt her.

After breakfast, we continued our adventures on the island, snorkeling, hiking, and finally watching the sun set over the sea. She let me carry her back to the house, something she seldom allowed. She was too tired to even eat dinner, a first since our arrival. I had to admit, after our conversation that morning, I was relieved she was asleep before she had the chance to press the matter again.

The next morning, Bella didn't say a word to me. She gave me a quick hug, then got out of bed and began her morning routine. Breakfast was ready and waiting for her when she emerged, and she smiled weakly at me. There was something off in her expression, but I was too afraid I already knew what the look meant, so I kept my questions to myself.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked, pushing her plate toward her.

She raised an eyebrow and smirked, making me wish I had phrased the question differently. I sighed, shaking my head. "Just eat, Bella."

Her expression fell again, but as soon as she started eating, she relaxed. I actually thought she'd given up for the moment, but of course, nothing was ever that easy.

"You know, I was thinking, it's really unfair for you to form your entire opinion based on one experience," she said lightly. "For all you know, it could be completely different the next time. Now that you know what to expect and all. I'm sure all we really need is some more practice."

She might as well have been talking about the weather, her tone was so casual. I supposed she was trying out a new method of persuasion.

"You might be right," I said, and she tried to hide the excitement that momentarily took over her composed expression. "Still, you must know by now that I'm unwilling to experiment when your safety is as stake."

Maintaining her composure, she simply shrugged and returned to her breakfast. If I hadn't known her so well, I might have believed the act.

That night, after another day of island activities, I made Bella a special dinner. It was something I'd practiced weeks ago, and it had earned me the compliment, "it doesn't look completely revolting," from my family. I was delighted when Bella devoured it, smiling more than I'd seen all day. I was quite proud of my new found cooking skills, and thrilled that I could provide for at least one of her human needs.

When she'd finished eating, I watched as her eyes started to close, her head resting against her propped up hand. A few minutes later, when I heard her breathing slow, I picked her up and carried her to our room. Since the white room we'd spent our first night in was still a feather covered disaster, we'd moved into the room that was painted vibrant blue. It wasn't as relaxing as the beach colors that had surrounded us before, but it didn't seem to affect Bella's sleep at all. She was sleeping more and more as our honeymoon progressed.

She slept for nine hours that night, and almost ten the next two. I might have worried, but I supposed it was to be expected. I had been shamelessly tiring her out every day, so she'd have less energy to argue with me.

Over the next few nights, Bella began growing more comfortable wearing some of Alice's more _exotic _choices for nighttime attire. It was just one of the ways I knew she was getting desperate. In the beginning, she had been so uncomfortable, blushing even when she wore the most tasteful of nightgowns. Then came the ivory satin gowns that came farther up her legs and lower down her chest. She was beautiful, even with her skin still marred from my pathetic attempt to remain in control. I wanted so badly to reach out and caress her, and relearn every part of her. It wasn't until she appeared in our bedroom wearing a black lace . . . I couldn't even call it a nightgown, as it was barely more than a piece of fabric. Needless to say, it had the desired effect, and I was unable to hide my gaping expression.

"What do you think?" she asked innocently, turning so I could take in every inch of her.

I could barely think straight, and I feared that she would hear my desire in my voice. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, attempting to keep my tone neutral.

"You look beautiful. You always do."

"Thanks," she said, her eyes dropping for just a second. I felt terrible, downplaying her beauty, when I wanted to tell her she was the most incredible thing I'd ever laid eyes on. With a dejected sigh, she climbed into bed and snuggled up close to me. I could feel her heat radiating against me, and it was everything I could do not to start something we would most certainly finish.

"I'll make you a deal," she said, her yawn making her sound less determined than she probably wanted to.

"I will not make any deals with you."

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"It doesn't matter." I knew there was only one thing she wanted that I refused to give her, and any bargain we made would put her back in danger.

Sighing again, she said, "Dang it. And I really wanted . . . Oh well."

She looked up at me wistfully, and I rolled my eyes. She really wasn't a very good actress. She closed her eyes, seeming to dismiss the subject, but I knew better. Bella wasn't going to sleep until she'd offered me her bargain.

"All right. What is it you want?"

"Well, I was thinking . . . I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me." She paused just long enough for me to see the whole picture unfold. Bella and I at college together, her still human for just a little while longer. Experiencing life the way she should be, without having to hide, or suppress her blood lust. It was exactly what I wanted for her – more time.

"Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet," she continued. "Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still . . . eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

She sounded so sincere, and the image I'd longed for was so clear, but deep down, I knew this wasn't what she wanted. It never had been. Just because I'd wanted these things for her didn't mean it was her dream. And how many times had we discussed her age? She hated that she was even _one _year older than me, technically speaking. There was no way she would suddenly be okay with aging. She was even repeating some of my own words from so long ago, using them against as as she tried to get me to succumb.

"You would wait," I said, completely disbelieving. "You would stay human." She didn't speak again, and I could hear her holding her breath. She wanted me to be picturing it all. She wanted me to see everything I'd wanted for her as if it were reality. It was so easy, I just had to give in to one little thing . . .

"Why are you _doing_ this to me?"I asked, more frustrated with her than I could have imagined. "Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed the lacy fabric that barely covered her. How cruel it was to hang my desires over my head, when the only thing stopping them from coming true was giving in to something I desired just as deeply. Didn't she know that while she slept peacefully every night, in my mind, we were back on that first night, our bodies pressed together, feeling new sensations, and learning each other the way we were meant to? Nothing in my endless existence had ever felt as right as that moment when I was first inside her, her arms and legs wrapped around me, all the love she felt for me poured out in every look and every kiss.

I needed her, every bit as much as she needed me. The only reason I was able to stop myself was that I understood eternity in a way she wouldn't until she was immortal. If I'd thought we only had one lifetime together, nothing could have stopped me from giving in right then. But I knew that when she was no longer fragile, when I could no longer hurt her, we would have a thousand lifetimes to be together and learn all there was to know about bringing each other that kind of joy.

Struggling to regain my composure, I said as calmly as possible, "It doesn't matter. I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college," she argued.

"No, you don't. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do_ want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want – I want to be human a little while longer."

I shut my eyes, unwilling to let myself even start to believe that could be true. We'd fought too long and too hard about this issue. She hadn't really changed her mind. This was simply her last bargaining chip.

"You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but . . . well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before."

"What's that?"

"Guess." The next second, she was kissing me, her lips demanding as she tried to plead her case. I felt the weight of what she was saying, more so than before, as I realized what she was really asking for. She wasn't offering a brief stint at college in return for one more night with me. She actually _wanted _to remain human longer, because she wanted more time for us to be together, like this. She was asking for us to truly be newlyweds, as if we were some normal, human couple, and there were no repercussions. Her offer suddenly took on a whole new meaning, and painted a very different picture in my mind. That only made it easier, though, to keep my head and hold my ground. I could hardly imagine putting her at risk one more time, let alone living every day wondering if the next time would be the time I lost control.

My hands had already started holding her tighter than I should have, which further proved how important it was to keep this line drawn. Very carefully, I moved her away from me, and back onto my chest, waiting for her breathing to calm.

"You are _so _human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones."

"That's the whole point, Edward. I _like _this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me."

She might have sounded more convincing had her exhaustion not been taking over once more. She yawned, and I smiled as her eyes grew heavy.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." She sighed as I began humming her lullaby.

"I wonder why I'm so tired," she said, her voice slightly irritated. "That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything."

I laughed, knowing her fatigue would win out over her anger.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better."

That caught me off guard. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that Bella had been sleeping more soundly than I'd ever seen her. Aside from her occasional snoring, the nights had become completely silent.

"You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma."

"I haven't been tossing?" she asked, genuinely confused. "That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

"You've been having nightmares?" I couldn't hide the concern in my voice. She seemed to be sleeping so soundly, and I assumed it was because there was nothing left for her to be afraid of. I'd gotten used to the idea that Bella had finally found peace again, after my world had exposed her to so many horrors.

"Vivid ones," she said. It bothered me that she sounded so calm about it. Like she'd grown used to her nightmares. I couldn't stand the thought of her still being afraid. "They make me so tired. I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night."

"What are they about?"

"Different things – but the same, you know, because of the colors?"

Panic was starting to grip me. It had been so long since I'd dreamed, I couldn't even remember the feeling, but I didn't like to think of her, wracked with fear for hours every night. "Colors?" I asked, my hand running soothingly along her shoulder.

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

She still sounded fairly composed, considering what she was telling me, but I knew her exhaustion had a great deal to do with that. Under the surface, I could hear how troubled she was. Certainly, she'd seen enough these past two years to create a lifetime of nightmares, but I thought now that the danger had passed, she would have banished them from her mind. We only had good to look forward to now.

Aside from the pain she would have to endure during her transformation.

I suddenly felt guilty for not realizing how terrified she must be. I'd gotten so lost in my own fears about my ability to change her without killing her, and how miserable it would be to watch her endure those three days of agony, I'd all but forgotten that this must be a constant fear in her mind. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

"What is frightening you?" I asked, certain I'd figured out the answer.

She shivered, her face contorting as she tried to form the words. "Mostly . . ."

"Mostly?"

She paused, her breath catching again, and when she finally spoke, they were not the words I was expecting.

"The Volturi."

I felt my grip on her tighten at the true fear in her voice, though I was relieved that this fear, at least, I could do something to alleviate. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason."

I continued to run my hands along her arms, shoulders, and back, trying to soothe her and calm her fears. After what she'd witnessed in Italy, I knew it would be impossible to forget how terrible they could be. Still, I wished she could understand that they were no longer a threat to us. Of course, I knew Aro would never give up on the idea of getting Alice and I to join him, but his respect for our laws, and his friendship with Carlisle, would stop him from trying to take us by force or manipulation. Unless we agreed to go of our own free will, there was no reason to think anyone in my family would ever see the Volturi again.

Bella looked up at me, fear still in her eyes, and I wished I could take it all away. I wanted to kiss her, but my need to silence her fears might be the very thing that ended up breaking my firm resolve, and I was determined not to let that happen.

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

"They're just dreams, Edward."

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

"They're not all bad," she said, starting to smile. "Some are nice. So . . . colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening – I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright _here."

Even talking about the good dreams, Bella seemed bothered by their vividness, and I wondered if it was time for our honeymoon to come to an end. "Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella."

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

Her eyes were heavy, practically unconscious as she asked the question, but still, I knew she wasn't going to give up trying to pressure me into another bargain. I started humming her lullaby again, wanting to keep her fears and her nightmares away. It was all I could give her to make her nights more peaceful, and all I could do was hope it would be enough. She was asleep in less than a minute.

As the hours passed and Bella's breathing deepened, I noticed her heart start to race. I'd heard it before, but since she wasn't talking in her sleep as she always did when she dreamed, I assumed it was just a normal part of her sleep cycles. Now that I knew her mind was racing, I realized it could be something more. Hoping to banish whatever fear was taking over, I leaned down to kiss her forehead, and ran my fingers gently through her hair. It did nothing to slow her racing heart, and her breathing actually started to speed up. My thumb traced across her cheek, and I held her as tightly as I could without risking hurting her, but nothing I did seemed to calm her down.

A few minutes later, her eyes flew open, and she gasped. She looked like she had no idea where she was.

"Bella?" I shook her gently, trying to bring her back to reality, to show her she was safe, with me. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Oh." Her face flushed, and without another word, she began to cry.

"Bella! What's wrong?" I started wiping her tears away, but they were flowing too fast. I couldn't keep up, and I couldn't calm her.

"It was only a dream," she said, sobbing harder than before. I couldn't fathom what had frightened her so deeply. Even if she had dreamed the Volturi were coming for her, she was awake now. She had to know we were safe.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I started rocking her, trying to bring her back to me. No one was after us. No one could harm us here. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare," she said, pulling away and wiping furiously at her eyes. "It was a _good _dream."

I was baffled as she broke into another sob. Just when I thought I'd figured out human emotions, I found myself lost again.

"They why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up." With that, she hurled herself at me, gripping my neck with what must have been every ounce of her strength. I still didn't understand why she was so upset, but at least I was satisfied that she wasn't frightened of anything. It didn't do anything to lessen my concern, however, as her hold on me only intensified. She cried against my neck, her warm tears trailing down my skin, and I rubbed my fingers along her back.

"Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths."

"It was so real," she sobbed. "I _wanted_ it to be real."

"Tell me about it. Maybe that will help."

I was so worried about her, it didn't occur to me that there was only one thing she wanted that she couldn't have – one thing that could make her upset. Even if I'd thought of it, though, I doubted I would have believed this level of hysteria could come from simple desire.

"We were on the beach . . ." she began, leaning back so she could look at me. When she didn't continue, I grew more anxious.

"And?"

She was fighting the tears this time, not wanting to give in again, but her face showed how miserable she still was. I felt completely helpless.

"Oh, Edward . . ."

"Tell me, Bella."

Instead of an explanation, I was met with her fevered kiss. Her arms tightened around my neck again as her lips danced with mine wildly. It was such a shock after her fitful tears, that I was momentarily too stunned to restrain her. I felt myself giving in to her kiss, partly because it was what I wanted so desperately, and partly because it seemed to be what she needed to bring her back from whatever desolation she'd been feeling. When her tongue darted out, my mouth opened in response, but as I tasted the salt of her tears, mixed with the blissful taste that was purely Bella, I forced my body to shut down. I couldn't risk her safety, especially when I was so quickly losing control.

"No, Bella," I said, pleading with my eyes. There had to be something else I could give her, something to ease whatever pain she was feeling.

I was surprised that she released me almost instantly, but when I saw the look in her eyes, I understood it all too well. It was defeat. The same defeat I'd seen that first morning together. She didn't say a word, but her tears flowed freely once again, and I felt my heart sink. I wasn't supposed to be causing her more pain.

"I'm s-s-s-orry," she said miserably, making me feel even more guilty. Whatever it was exactly that had upset her, she was telling me I was the only thing that could fix it. She wanted me to love her, completely and without fear, and take us back to that first night. The last night that everything had felt perfect. I hugged her to me again, battling with myself, and wondering for the first time if she might be right. Maybe it would be different this time. Maybe I could control myself better.

I shook off the thought, terrified of my wavering resolve. What if it was worse? What if I broke her beyond repair? "I can't, Bella, I can't!"

"Please," she begged. "Please, Edward?"

The way she was asking told me she'd already given up. That same defeat that had nearly broken me seconds ago was still there, and somehow, it had gotten even worse. She was pleading her own lost cause.

Her sobs had quieted, and there was only the sound of her shallow breathing as she clung with the last of her strength to me. A soft whimper escaped her lips and she turned her head, her tears running softly down my neck. It was that moment, as I heard her quiet _please _echoing in my ear, that broke the last of my will power. Without another thought, I took her face in both my hands and crushed her mouth to mine. There was one short second of confusion, before I felt the smile creep onto her lips.

My fingers threaded into the almost nonexistent fabric she was wearing, and within seconds, it was in pieces, strewn across the bed.. I pulled back just enough to look at her, my eyes taking in everything I'd been denying myself for the past ten days. It seemed impossible that we'd waited for this moment so long.

"Edward?" she asked, probably wondering if I was doubting my decision.

"You're beautiful." I pressed my forehead against hers and let out a long breath. "And I want you so much. Just _please_ don't let me hurt you again." I wasn't sure if I was pleading with her or myself, or some force bigger than both of us. All I knew was I needed to maintain control this time. I _had _to find a way for us to be together without hurting her, because not being together was simply not an option anymore. For either of us.

"You won't," she promised. "It's going to be okay. Trust me, please."

With that, she took my hands and lifted them to the headboard behind me, and I grabbed on like it was a lifeline. With the most genuine smile I'd seen in days, she tucked her fingers into the waist of my boxers and pulled them down. The look in her eyes was overwhelming, and somehow, it told me exactly what I needed to know – that she was in control, and I didn't have to worry. She would lead and I would follow, and just as I'd begged, she wouldn't let me hurt her.

She leaned down and kissed me from my chest, down my torso, and back up, until her lips were locked with mine again. I tentatively pulled one hand away from the bed and cradled her face, her answering sigh filling me with confidence. When she lifted herself up and brought our bodies together, I pulled my hand away, afraid of the power of the sensation. I felt almost guilty, silently admitting the lack of faith I had in myself when we'd barely begun, but she just kissed me harder.

"It's okay," she whispered, once again understanding me better than I'd thought possible. When she kissed me again, I lifted my hips, and the feeling of being inside her again was like coming home. My fingers strained and I heard the headboard start to give.

"Bella, I . . ."

"Shh," she breathed, shaking her head. I closed my eyes against the feelings that were quickly taking over, and tried to remember to let her lead me.

When I was sure I'd regained control, I let my hand reach up to touch her face again. She breathed into my palm, kissing it softly. I felt her legs tighten around me, sending another rush of pleasure through my body. I quickly took my hand away, and grabbed the headboard again, pieces of wood crumbling under my fingers. I was afraid Bella would be upset by my pulling away, but she hadn't even seemed to notice. Her eyes were closed, her hair cascading around her, and I reached back up, tangling my fingers into it. Her lips parted and I heard her breath catch. I was overcome with emotion that we'd found ourselves here again, when the odds had been stacked so high against us.

I could feel my thoughts starting to leave me, as my body started to give in to everything I was feeling. Afraid I would hurt her without either of us realizing it, I returned my hands to the bed. Confident I couldn't cause her any harm, I let myself truly bask in the moment. I let out a deep, contented sigh as Bella's hands began exploring and learning me. Her hands made their way across every plane of my body, and I was lost in the beauty of her touch. She leaned down and kissed me from my collarbone up my neck, until I could feel her breath against my ear. She giggled as her teeth lightly grazed my earlobe, nipping playfully and enjoying the sounds that were involuntarily escaping me.

Eventually, I realized I was no longer gripping the headboard too tightly, or having to work at maintaining control. With a great deal of joy, it occurred to me that I was handing things far better than the last time. When I opened my eyes and saw my Bella, she was staring down at me, her eyes filled with love and compassion.

"I love you," I said, bringing both hands down slowly until I was holding her hips. My fingers pressed into her, and I was amazed to find I was in complete control. I was as aware of my strength and my limitations as every time I'd held her while she slept, or kissed her as she'd woken up.

"I'm not hurting you." I'd meant it to be a question, just to be sure, but even as I spoke, I heard the truth of my words. It was no longer a question. It was four simple words that meant we'd found a way to be complete.

I could practically see the words all over her face. _I told you so. _But she didn't say it. Instead, she continued rocking us gently, until the world around us blurred and disappeared again.

Later, when Bella could no longer keep her eyes open, I finally heard her drift into what I hoped would be a restful sleep. She never did tell me exactly what her dream had been, but in the end, it hadn't mattered. Whatever had brought us back to this place, this blissful and contented moment she'd been so desperate for, I was thankful. It had been even more wonderful than our first time, both of us more confident, and in the end, all of our fears cast aside.

The hours I spent watching her sleep were not interrupted by the knowledge that I'd hurt her. The last of her bruises from that first night were nearly gone, and as I had not inflicted any new wounds, I knew that within a few days, even the worst of what I'd done would just be a distant memory. It was an intense thing to realize that, with the knowledge of tonight's success, we could continue our journey as husband and wife without being afraid. I wasn't fool enough to think that Bella was serious about wanting to go to college, not with how hard she'd fought me on it before. In the end, though, I knew it didn't really matter. I'd accepted that the things I wanted for her were not what she wanted for herself. As long as she was content with the life she'd lived as a human, I wouldn't try to delay her from entering immortality.

The important thing was that we'd found a way to be together, in all the ways we both wanted, and we could remain that way for as long as Bella desired. We could stay on the island for weeks, or months, or we could return home to spend more time with our families. She hadn't said it, but I knew she missed Charlie, and if she was truly committed to spending more time as a human, there was no reason to give up that relationship so soon.

The night continued, and my mind raced with all the possibilities. I heard no sign that she was having any nightmares, and I smiled to myself at the thought that I might actually be the key to her sleeping peacefully again. I hugged her tighter, happy I could now say I was providing her with _all _her human needs. When the sun came in through the window, I expected Bella to at least stir, but she didn't move an inch. Hours passed, and I was starting to grow a little concerned. Even considering she'd spent a good portion of the night awake, this was the most she'd slept since we'd arrived. I propped my head against my arms so I could see her better. She was snoring lightly, her eyelids still, so it appeared she wasn't dreaming.

I continued to watch her, until finally, her breathing changed. I knew she was awake, but she wasn't opening her eyes. I wondered if she might be feeling self conscious, seeing as this was the first morning since our wedding night that we'd woken up together without any clothes on. I averted my eyes to the ceiling until I felt her prop herself up beside me.

"How much trouble am I in?" she asked nervously. Then, I realized I had been right about her being self conscious, but not for the reason I'd suspected.

Unable to help myself, I replied, "Heaps." At her quiet gasp, however, I looked down at her and smirked. I couldn't have her feeling guilty for what had turned out to be a perfect night.

"I _am_ sorry," she said, though she was clearly relieved. "I didn't mean . . . Well, I don't know exactly what that _was _last night." She dropped her head apologetically.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about."

"I guess I didn't – but I sort of _showed _you what it was about." Her face turned a deep shade of red and she laughed, clearly embarrassed.

"Oh." I wasn't sure what she saw on my face as images of last night flooded my mind. Bella moving slowly above me, kissing my neck, nibbling at me ear . . . "Interesting," I said, desire already starting to twist my insides at the thought of being with her again.

"It was a very good dream."

That it was, if her actions were any indication. Was it too soon to ask for a repeat of that particular dream?

"Am I forgiven?" she asked.

"I'm thinking about it." _A lot._

She sat up then, but a moment later, she fell back down onto the pillows.

"Whoa . . . head rush."

Pushing aside the direction my thoughts were taking me, I pulled Bella into my arms and hugged her tightly. "You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"_Twelve?"_

As she contemplated her unusually long night of sleep, I saw her casually start to glance across her skin. I supposed I couldn't blame her. After all, she hadn't felt the bruises last time. Of course she would be wondering if there was any damage that she should be aware of. I smiled as she stretched.

"Is the inventory complete?"

She nodded, her blush returning. "The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er, nightgown." I motioned to where the few remaining scraps of black sat in a pile at the end of the bed.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did, too."

"Were there any other casualties?" she asked shyly, not quite meeting my eyes.

My thoughts wandered back to the bed, and all the times I'd grabbed it to keep from grabbing Bella. I might have been a little embarrassed, but I was too grateful. If we'd found a way to make this work, I'd destroy a hundred headboards.

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame," I said, my eyes darting to the ruined piece. Bella glanced at the section I'd nearly collapsed, and her eyes widened.

"Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that."

I grinned, remembering her softly closed eyes, and her beautiful face. "You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

Her face turned bright red again, and her voice grew quiet. "I was a bit absorbed."

She looked embarrassed, but honestly, I'd been thrilled that I could make her feel such strong emotions, that she'd been so caught up, so lost in me. It was a powerful thing. I reached out to touch her cheek, sighing as her warmth heated my icy skin. "I'm really going to miss that."

She was staring at me, some burning question behind her eyes. Finally, she asked nervously, "How are _you_ feeling?"

I had to laugh at her concern. Yes, she was waking up to a far different scene than after our first night together, but I was finding it difficult to imagine anything but total contentment on my face. I felt like I'd been given a second chance, a redemption I didn't deserve. Was she really still wondering whether or not I was angry about how the night had gone?

"What?" she asked when I didn't respond.

"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime."

"I _feel _guilty." She was scrutinizing my expression, concern written all over her face. I almost laughed again, but I didn't want to make her feel bad. It was sweet that she was so worried about my reaction. Sweet, and completely unnecessary.

"So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense."

She turned impossibly redder, her eyes darting away from mine. "The word _seduced _implies a certain amount of premeditation."

"Maybe that was the wrong word," I admitted, remembering her tears.

"You're not angry?" she asked sheepishly.

Then, it was my turn to feel guilty. I was ruining this moment for her yet again, and this time, there was absolutely no reason for either of us to be feeling anything but happiness. The night had been perfect.

"I'm not angry," I promised.

"Why not?"

"Well . . ." I paused, needing to explain it right. I couldn't have her feeling any more guilt. "I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I glanced back up at the gouged wood. At least I didn't bite any pillows this time. In fact, I didn't recall even feeling the urge to bite. I was so caught up in Bella's expressions, the joy on her face, and the way we were moving together, all my other desires disappeared. There was only us, and all the new, wonderful things we were feeling.

"Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect," I said, wondering what exactly had caused the change.

At my words, Bella's crestfallen face changed. She grinned at me, her eyes bright and excited. "I _told _you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes. She'd kept it to herself last night, but there was the _I told you so_ I'd been expecting. Fortunately, this was one thing I was more than happy for her to be right about. I was about to ask if she was ready for more _practice _when her stomach growled.

"Breakfast time for the human?"

"Please." She hurried out of bed, probably starving after how late she'd slept. She stumbled, and I had to reach out to catch her.

"Are you all right?"

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."

She shook me off, determined to stand up straight on her own, and continued to the kitchen. I started to offer to make breakfast, but she already had her nose in the refrigerator. A minute later, she'd cracked three eggs into the frying pan. I sat and watched as she cooked with less concentration than usual. The eggs had barely begun to cook when she slid them onto her plate.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?"

"Since now." She didn't even wait for them to cool before shoving a large bite into her mouth.

"Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week?" I reached under the sink, and she glanced at all the empty cartons in the garbage. For as long as I'd known Bella, I could probably count the times she'd chosen eggs for breakfast on one hand. Perhaps I wasn't giving her enough options. I thought the kitchen was pretty well stocked, but if we were going to be staying a while longer, I might need to expand the variety a bit.

"Weird. This place is messing with my appetite." She paused, her eyes scanning the house that had already become a second home to us. "But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

I pushed aside the moment of happiness I felt at the idea of us starting that life together, and reminded myself it wasn't what she truly desired. Most certainly, we could stay on the island for as long as we wanted, and enjoy our time as newlyweds, but I knew it wouldn't be long before Bella would start to feel the pressure of time. I was sure she would want me to change her, at the very least before her next birthday.

"You can give up the college pretense now," I said, sitting down beside her. "You've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

She snorted, and looked at me like I was missing something very obvious. "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spend _my _free time plotting like some people do. _What can we do to wear Bella out today?_" Then, a very sincere smile spread across her face, and I felt myself begin to hope. "I really do want a little more time being human." She reached out and touched my chest, her fingers grazing against it lightly as she looked up at me through her eyelashes. "I have not had enough."

I eyed her skeptically for a moment. Was she really willing to change her mind, just to have more human time making love with me? After all the begging, and attempts to reason with her, _this _was the game changer?

"For _this_?" I asked, putting my hand over hers as she continued to trace down my body. "Sex was the key all along?" When she blushed, I rolled my eyes. "Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments."

She laughed, despite her embarrassment. "Yeah, probably."

"You are _so _human."

"I know."

Once again, she was making me feel almost human, too. I couldn't deny that I wanted exactly the same thing. Now that I knew we could be together without me hurting her, all I wanted was more. Before, it had been easy to convince myself that there was plenty of time to explore our physical relationship after she was immortal, but that was when I was still being ruled by my fears. Now that I knew it was possible, I couldn't stop thinking about her heated skin on mine, the way her heart sped as we moved together, the blush in her cheeks that told me so much about what she was feeling. How could I not want more time to learn every detail, and every way we could affect each other?

And not just on the island, apparently. In our own home, where we could start a new chapter of our lives. Bella would go to college, and get to see Charlie and Renee again. It was all too good to be true.

"We're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"I'll probably fail out in one semester."

"I'll tutor you." I still couldn't believe it. I was actually getting all of the things I'd once bargained with Bella over. And she wasn't giving in because she wanted something from me. She was genuinely happy. "You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find an apartment this late?" she asked, and I couldn't hide my guilty expression. Just because I didn't think she'd change her mind, didn't mean I hadn't prepared for the best.

"Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case."

"You bought a house?" She was trying to glare at me, but I could tell there was a hint of excitement in her voice. I fell like doing a victory lap.

"Real estate is a good investment."

She looked like she wanted to question me further, but let it go, perhaps not wanting to interrupt our buoyant moods. "So we're ready, them."

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little longer . . ."

That earned me a scowl. "Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks." When I grinned, she rolled her eyes. "How much longer can we stay?"

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee . . ."

I watched her face, thinking I would see her joy at the idea of more time with her family, but she seemed troubled. Maybe I was rushing her. She'd only just decided to put off her transformation. I shouldn't be forcing anything on her. Perhaps she didn't want to reopen her relationship with her parents. She'd already said her goodbyes, and it might be easier to keep her distance. In the end, there was no way to keep them in her life forever.

"A few weeks," she said. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Then, a smile tugged at her lips. "So I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before?"

As much as I wanted to scoop her up right then, but unfortunately, I couldn't take her up on the offer just yet. We were about to be interrupted.

"Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here." She smiled, and I thought about how I could keep her entertained while the house was being taken care of. I figured, given the state of things, it was going to be quite a long project. "Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south –"

"I don't want to go out," she interrupted. "I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie." She might as well have stamped her foot and crossed her arms. It was adorable, and I was having a very hard time not snickering at her.

"All right, whatever you'd like. Why don't you pick one out while I get the door?"

"I didn't hear a knock."

We waited two seconds for the knock, and I smiled, heading toward the door. I greeted Gustavo and Kaure – they were happy that I, like Carlisle and Esme, spoke Portuguese, since their English was limited – and I motioned them in. They welcomed me to the island and asked if I was having a pleasant trip.

I led them inside, mentioning that the kitchen would need to be restocked, and requesting that some other, more exotic food choices be added to the selection. I gestured toward Bella with a smile.

"This is my beautiful wife, Bella. My only wish is for her happiness, and as we'll be extending our stay, I'd like to offer her a wider variety of choices."

Kaure was eyeing Bella with a mixture of shock and pity. _Innocent young girl. Perhaps I should warn her. Does she know she's here with a demon? What will he do to her? Is her life nearly over? So young . . . _

I had expected such a reaction from her, given her tribe's legends, but I was still eager to get her attention away from Bella. I led them quickly toward the white room, and braced myself for their reactions. Gustavo was composed, as always, barely registering the destruction before he set to work cleaning. Kaure was frozen in place.

_Mercy, what has happened here? How is it the girl still lives when she stays here with such a monster?_

Gustavo cleared his through and glared at Kaure, her eyes still wide. "We are here to do a job. Do not let your fears rule you." She bowed her head in apology to me, and started sweeping up the feathers.

When I left the room, Bella was standing in the same place I'd left her, looking embarrassed and confused.

"What's with her?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitions – or you could call it more aware – than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough." She had seen Carlisle and Esme over the years, had seen that they did not age. She'd never had to fear for Esme, though. She knew that, whatever kind of monsters they were, they were the same. "They have their own legends here. The _Libishomen_ – a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women." I raised an eyebrow, daring Bella to challenge the statement. She'd seen the fear in Kaure's eyes when she'd first taken Bella in.

"She looked terrified," she said, almost guiltily.

"She is – but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?"

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." Kaure had wanted to warn Bella, though I doubted she would ever summon up the courage to try. I didn't like to cause anyone unnecessary concern, Kaure included. She was only trying to look out for Bella's well being.

Eager to change the subject, I turned my gaze to the movie collection on the wall. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That's an acceptably human thing to do."

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human," she teased, reaching up and wrapping her arms around my neck. I heard her heart jump when I kissed her, and with a grin, I picked her up so her toes were dangling in mid air. She giggled, and I couldn't wait until we were alone again. I breathed her in as my lips trailed down her neck to her throat. She was always the sweetest torture.

"Movie, schmovie," she said, her fingers moving up to grip my hair. I must have been more distracted than I'd thought, because I didn't hear Kaure come back into the room until her startled gasp brought me back to the present.

_He seduces her, even while we are here? What if he means to kill us?_

I tried to look at her kindly, to reassure her, but she was panicked. "Forgive me," she said. "We only wish to finish the job, and then leave this place.

"Please, don't be upset. We are grateful for your services."

_Please, let no harm come to her, _she silently prayed. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she returned to her work.

Bella sighed, her arms releasing me and falling lifelessly at her side. "She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?"

"Yes."

"Here," she said, absently grabbing a movie off the shelf. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

I looked at the cover, a musical from the fifties that was sure to cast a light atmosphere over the house. It wouldn't do anything to ease Kaure's fears, but it certainly wasn't going to make things any worse. "Very honeymoonish," I said, placing the disk in the player.

When I sat down on the couch, Bella wasted no time sinking back into my arms. Clearly, she wasn't concerned with what Kaure thought of our relationship. As we pretended to watch the movie, she started to trace circles on the back of my hand. I knew her mind was far away, or at the very least, in another room of the house. I glanced toward the bedroom, wondering how much longer the cleanup would take.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" she asked, her fingers still grazing my skin.

"I don't know . . . I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday."

She grinned at me, her eyes glowing with excitement again. "So there will be more destruction?"

I laughed at her eagerness. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again."

"It would only be a matter of time," she admitted. Her cheeks were flushing again, and I heard her pulse start to race. Although we were just looking at each other, it grew more erratic with each passing second.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?" I asked.

"Nope. Healthy as a horse." She paused, glancing toward the blue room. "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. _You _might not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them."

Her eyes widened, clearly having forgotten we were not alone. "Right. Drat."

I laughed at her impatience, though honestly, I was a little impatient myself. Bella's skin was still warm from her blush, and I was suddenly very preoccupied with the intense desire to run my fingers over every inch of it.

About an hour later, Gustavo informed me they were finished. It didn't escape my notice that Kaure had left the house without so much as a glance toward Bella and I. She couldn't get away fast enough.

"They're finished," I told Bella when Gustavo had left.

"So that would mean that we're alone now?"

It was nearly impossible to refuse not to pick her up and take her straight to the bedroom, but I reminded myself it was my duty to look out for all her human needs. "How about lunch first?" I asked.

She looked conflicted, but the simple fact that she was considering food when I knew she'd been waiting for us to be alone again all day, gave me my answer.

I took her hand and we walked to the kitchen. She waited patiently while I prepared an admittedly quick and easy lunch. She ate without a word, and sighed contentedly when she was finished.

"This is getting out of hand," she said, eyes on her empty plate.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon – burn off the calories?"

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"And what was that?"

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left – "

Without another word, I pulled her into my arms, and kissed her with all the love and desire I felt. I was so grateful that we could finally continue our honeymoon the way we were meant to. It had taken us a week and a half, but I felt like we could finally relax and enjoy each other. Bella giggled as we fell onto the bed together. I brushed my fingers across her cheek, making her shiver.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "No. You're making me shiver for a very different reason." She reached up to thread her fingers into my hair, pulling my face down and kissing me again. It wasn't long before our clothes were in a pile on the floor, and we were tangled up again. It was a completely different feeling from last night – lighter, carefree. Bella didn't have to worry that she was forcing my actions, and I was no longer afraid I would hurt her. We were free to simply enjoy each other.

"I love you," she whispered breathlessly, as we moved in unison. I kissed her, my hands running gently up and down her side. It was so much easier to control my strength now. It was amazing how far we'd come in such a short time.

Later, as we laid together and I listened to Bella's heartbeat slow down, I felt the same peace I'd experienced that first night together. It was something I didn't really think was possible to get back, after all that had happened, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I leaned down to kiss her forehead, tasting the salt from her still heated skin.

"I love you, Bella. I still don't know what I've done to deserve you, but whatever miracle brought you to me, I'll never stop being grateful."

She smiled, looking up at me as she lazily trailed her fingertips along my arm.

"I don't think it's so much about what either of us deserves. I think it's just . . . we belong together. We finally both found where we were meant to be."

I paused, letting her words sink in. "And I think I married a very smart woman."

I cradled her face in my hand, kissing her softly, and loving the way she melted into my touch. When I looked at her again, she raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Does this mean you're admitting I was right?"

"You've been right about a lot of things, Bella. Which one would you be referring to now?"

"That all we needed was a little practice."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Well, they do say practice makes perfect. And that felt pretty perfect to me."

She giggled, nuzzling into my neck and letting her warm breath wash over me. She was silent for a long time, and I wondered if she was drifting off again. Then, she took a deep breath, and when she spoke, her voice was almost inaudible.

"How long will it take? You know, after I'm changed. To feel like this again?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "But it is hard to remember wanting anything but blood in those first few months."

She was quiet as she hugged me tighter.

"Of course, I didn't know there was something out there that was more pleasurable than even the most exquisite blood," I said, my lips moving deliberately to the place on her neck where I could feel her pulse.

Despite her anxiety, I felt her smile against my chest. "So you think, now that I'll know what I'm missing, maybe I could get over the whole blood lust thing faster?"

"A vampire can hope."

She laughed again, then lifted her face up to mine and kissed me again.

"In the meantime," I said when she pulled away, "I suggest we don't worry about the future, and get back to that whole practice thing."

"I thought you said we were already perfect?" she teased.

I shrugged. "If there's one thing I've learned in my time with you, it's that, no matter how perfect I think things are, they always seem to get even better. You never fail to amaze me, Bella."

"_You're _amazing," she said, lifting her body until she was hovering over me. Her lips moved slowly from my neck, to my shoulder, to my chest, and without another word, we continued into a moment more perfect than the last.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hello again to everyone, sorry it's been so long. Many of you have messaged me to ask if everything is all right, and I appreciate all your well wishes. Yes, I'm okay, just still dealing with a number of pregnancy difficulties. Mandatory bed rest when you have a three-year-old is . . . interesting. I've had to get really creative with games we can play from the couch. And increased headaches (plus not being allowed to take anything for them) has made it difficult to read/write, which is a very frustrating thing, for someone who uses books as an escape. I'm glad to get this chapter posted, marking the end of "Book One." I promise I'm not abandoning the story, but life is about to get really busy, so it may be awhile before my next chapter. I'm officially off of bed rest as of tomorrow, and then all there is to do is wait to meet our little boy! Keep an eye on my profile page. I'll try to keep you all updated on how things are going. :)

Chapter 7

With every day that passed, our honeymoon in paradise seemed to get impossibly better. Now that Bella knew I wasn't simply trying to wear her out to avoid the subject of our physical relationship, she was finding even greater joy in our activities around the island. She continued to let me lead her to every beautiful waterfall and mountain peak, hand in mine, or arms wrapped around me. I was no longer afraid of her nearly constant showers of affection, or the way she looked at me, desire in her eyes, that told me we'd soon be heading back to the house. I couldn't have asked for more. I showed her the beauties that surrounded us, and then returned each night to the perfect sanctuary of her arms.

It was with great reluctance, but absolute necessity, that I had to leave her side just over two weeks after we'd arrived. My thirst had been steadily intensifying, moving from the back of my mind to the forefront, and while I hated to leave her, even for a short time, I knew I couldn't put it off anymore. We'd had another wonderful day exploring the farthest reaches of the island – she'd even been tired enough to let me carry her back – and after making love with the moonlight pouring into the room around us, I felt her slip into a peaceful sleep.

I figured I had about nine hours before she awoke, possibly more, considering how she'd been sleeping longer and longer each night, but just in case, I left her a note. I quickly scrawled the letter explaining my absence, and put it where I'd been laying, knowing it was where she would reach even before she was fully conscious again. I brushed her hair back from her face, then softly kissed her closed eyes before hurrying out to the boat.

It wasn't long before I reached my destination, and yet, every minute away from Bella dragged on. My hunting expedition was successful, if not somewhat frustrating. I was surrounded by one of the most diverse populations of wildlife I'd ever encountered, but limited by a host of endangered species, which I felt a moral obligation to avoid. Still, the area gave me a change from the ordinary, and it wasn't long before I was more than sated and ready to return to my hopefully still sleeping wife.

I was only a few steps into the house when I saw her sleeping form on the couch. The television was on, a blue screen indicating whatever movie she'd been attempting to watch was long since over, and nearly every window was open, a gentle breeze filling the room. I turned the television off and sat down beside Bella. She didn't stir until I let my fingers trail across her forehead. There was a sheen of sweat, and I felt instantly guilty that I hadn't thought to at least put a fan on while I was away. Of course she would be too warm without my icy skin to cool her. As I placed my hand more firmly to her cheek, her breathing sped, and she instinctively leaned into my touch. Bella sighed, though her eyes were still closed, and a small smile crept onto her face.

Carefully, I tilted her body forward, so I could climb onto the couch behind her and pull her flush against my body. She took a deep breath, then sunk back into me, her hair brushing up against my chin. I kissed the top of her head, and started to hum, hoping she would fall back asleep now that she was cooler. It wasn't long, though, before I felt her start to squirm, almost like she was uncomfortable. Still, she made no attempt to pull away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said, touching my hand to her forehead again. Maybe she was still too warm. "So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

I expected to feel her smile, or for her to turn her head to look at me, but a moment later, she groaned and began tugging against my arms. "Excuse me!" she said, her voice strained, as she yanked herself free from my grasp.

"Bella?" My eyes widened with alarm as I fully took in her expression. She was completely pale, and her eyes were watering as she ran toward the bathroom. I was at her side by the time she reached the toilet, and I watched in horror as she wretched again and again.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked, when the worst appeared to have passed.

She shook her head, and I pulled her hair back, afraid she was going to be sick again.

"Damn rancid chicken," she said, her voice hoarse and miserable.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine." It was barely more than a whisper. I listened to her heart, which was still racing, and her breathing was shallow. I'd never seen her like this. "It's just food poisoning," she assured me. "You don't need to see this. Go away."

I rolled my eyes. Didn't she know me better than that? "Not likely, Bella."

"Go away," she groaned again as she tried to stand. I could feel her pushing against me, but there was no way I was letting go. She looked so weak.

I followed her to the sink, and held one hand while she used the other to rinse her mouth. I was glad she didn't protest when I scooped her up and carried her to our room. Her skin was still damp with sweat, and she was shaking slightly as I set her down.

"Food poisoning?" I asked. I knew it could be quick and violent, and I tried to think back to what I'd cooked for her the night before.

"Yeah. I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first."

I put my hand back on her forehead, and she sighed, closing her eyes. "How do you feel now?"

She breathed deeply, seeming to assess her condition. "Pretty normal," she finally said. "A little hungry, actually."

I looked at her reproachfully. I wasn't as educated as Carlisle in regards to human illnesses, but one thing I knew for sure was that one should not eat a meal five minutes after vomiting.

Before she had time to protest, I ran to the kitchen and brought back a large glass of water. She eyed it cautiously, then looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Please?" I asked, placing it in her hand. She leaned back into the pillows and started sipping slowly.

I crawled into bed beside her, not sure whether it was better for her to be warm or cold. When she felt me hesitating, she lifted my arm and draped it around her shoulder. She shivered again, but sighed as she sunk into me. She continued to sip the water slowly, and I listened as her breathing returned to normal.

"I'm okay, I promise," she assured me, but it did nothing to calm my nerves. Her color was still off, and something about the rhythm of her heart sounded strange. After about an hour, I helped her sit back up. She laughed when her stomach growled, and gave me her _I told you so_ look.

"You're sure food is a good idea?"

"If it was food poisoning, I'm pretty sure it's all out by now. Don't let this ruin our whole day. I told you, I'm fine."

Reluctantly, I carried her to the kitchen and set her gently down on the chair, watching her carefully as I made her favorite breakfast as of late – eggs. She ate slowly, and I was happy to see a little of her color had returned by the end of the meal. She stood up, and I could see her falter just slightly when her feet hit the ground. Her lack of balance wasn't new, though, and I let her walk herself over to the couch. I sat down next to her and turned on the news. She'd mentioned that she was starting to feel out of touch with the world, so I figured today was the perfect day to catch up. Whether she claimed to be feeling better or not, I wasn't planning on taking her out again until I was sure she was completely healthy again.

Just as I was starting to relax, Bella turned like she was going to say something to me, and a second later, she was racing across the room again. She didn't even try for the bathroom, and I started to panic as I held her hair back while she vomited into the kitchen sink.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor?" I practically pleaded. This wasn't the time for Bella's stubbornness.

She shook her head, and started pulling away from me again. I couldn't understand why at this of all times, she was deciding she didn't need my help. Wasn't I supposed to take care of her in sickness and in health?

"I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth," she insisted, and then closed the bathroom door behind her. I listened impatiently to the sounds of water running and teeth being brushed. I wasn't used to her shutting me out when something was wrong. We'd realized long ago that things worked better when we were together, and I had hoped we would always be able to turn to each other, no matter what the problem. It seemed like that should have been all the more true now that we were husband and wife, but there I stood, on the outside of a door, waiting to see if she was all right.

About two minutes later, the bathroom went silent. I took a step closer, leaning toward the door as I tried to figure out what was wrong. I tried to convince myself that if she'd passed out, I would have heard her fall. Still, I was growing more anxious every second. No longer able to curb my fears, I knocked on the door.

"Are you well?" I asked. "Did you get sick again."

"Yes and no," she said. As I listened, I heard the strange rhythm of her heart again – that sound that told me something was off.

"Bella? Can I please come in?"

"O . . . kay?" The word was a question more than an answer, but it was still a yes. I opened the door quickly, and felt my chest tighten when I saw Bella sitting on the floor. She looked weak and dismayed as I sat beside her, and my hand immediately went back to her forehead. Her temperature felt better, but she was pale again, her eyes glazed over and seemingly staring at nothing.

"What's wrong?" I pleaded.

"How many days has it been since the wedding?" she asked.

"Seventeen," I answered, not realizing it was an odd question, considering we were supposed to be discussing her health. "Bella, what is it?" I repeated.

She was mouthing numbers, counting under her breath, while her brow pulled together in deep concentration. She finished, and I thought she was about to speak and put me out of my misery, but she started the whole process again.

"Bella!" I was trying to control my voice, but the panic was taking over. I didn't understand why she wasn't telling me anything. "I'm losing my mind over here."

Rather than answer, Bella reached into her suitcase and pulled out a box of tampons. She held them up like they held all the answers, but I just stared, baffled.

"What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?" I asked doubtfully. I'd known Bella a long time, and never once had I seen her as sick as she'd been these past two hours. There was no way her cycle was to blame for this.

"No," she said, her voice strangled. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

It didn't register right away. How could a delayed period cause her to be so sick? There had to be another reason. While my mind attempted to find the answer, I saw that Bella's eyes were searching mine, like I was missing something extremely obvious.

"I don't think I have food poisoning," she said, scrutinizing me more closely as she spoke. It was like she was waiting for a reaction, but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be reacting to. It wasn't like a late period could mean . . .

_Impossible. _A tiny little voice in the back of my mind started denying the thought that hadn't yet fully formed in my consciousness. I couldn't even blink as the meaning behind Bella's words started to register. But it was ridiculous to even entertain the idea. Wasn't it? If Bella were any other woman on the planet, anyone besides the wife of a vampire, a late period could mean she was pregnant, but that wasn't possible for her. For us.

Was it?

"The dreams," Bella said quietly. "Sleeping so much. The crying. All that food. Oh. Oh. _Oh._"

I was sure she was looking at me again as symptoms began making sense to her, but I couldn't meet her eyes. I couldn't see anything. For the first time in my very long life, the world started to spin and blur around me.

_What have I done?_

"Oh!" she gasped again. My eyes shifted just enough to see that her hand had dropped to her stomach.

I was barely aware when she slipped out of my feeble grasp, and walked slowly to the mirror. I forced my eyes to focus as she stared at her own reflection, but nothing about the picture fit. She was still my Bella, but she was . . . changed. It didn't make any sense, but as hard as I tried to deny it, even I could see the difference. She had moved away the fabric that had been covering her stomach, and beneath it lay a small bump just below her belly button.

"Impossible," she whispered.

Of course it was. And yet –

My breath caught as I realized this was the reason Bella's heart had sounded so different. It wasn't racing and then calming, as I'd grown so used to. The beats were irregular, jumping and sputtering, trying to make sense of this . . . _thing, _this foreign beingthat was now inside her.

Bella was still staring at the inexplicable bump, moving slightly back and forth, like she was trying to get a better view. Then, she reached down to touch it, her eyes widening slightly. I knew I should be saying something, asking her how she was feeling, or what she was thinking. But I simply couldn't form the words. Maybe there _were_ no words for this.

"Impossible," she repeated, her hand still resting softly on her stomach.

My mind was reeling. It was all too much. I couldn't reproduce. It shouldn't be possible. How had this happened? What did it mean? More importantly, what exactly _was _it?

_Monster. _The voice in my mind was back, once again telling me what I couldn't tell myself. The _how _didn't really matter, not when it was becoming increasingly obvious that it had, indeed, happened. All that mattered was keeping Bella safe, and whatever creature had been brought into existence couldn't possibly be compatible with her fragile body. It would be strong. It would be uncontrollable. And it would tear her apart.

At the exact moment of my realization, I heard Bella's breath catch, and her fingers pressed more tightly into her stomach – almost as if she was _holding _it. Suddenly, my phone was blaring, filling the silent room with unbidden noise. It screamed at us, like my insides were screaming at me, yet I couldn't find the strength to move in order to answer it. I'd never felt so weak, not even when I had been human, dying . . .

My eyes stayed locked on Bella, who was still cradling her stomach, and tears began to slide down her cheeks. My phone continued to ring, and with an exasperated sigh, Bella came down to sit beside me, her hand searching until she found it. When she answered, her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Hi, Alice."

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Alice's voice was frantic when she answered, and I didn't have it in me to think about why. If she had seen something, and now she was calling me –

"Yeah. Um. Is Carlisle there?"

"He is. What's the problem?"

She couldn't _see _what the problem was? I still wasn't sure I was ready for the answer, but if Alice didn't already know what was happening, then I needed to know exactly what she _had_ seen.

"I'm not . . . one hundred percent . . . sure . . . ." Bella stuttered.

"Is Edward all right? Carlisle?" she called, and once again, I could hear the fear in her voice. "Why didn't he pick up the phone?"

"I'm not sure."

"Bella, what's going on? I just saw –"

_What? What did you see? Is Bella – _

As desperately as I needed to know, I couldn't form the question, not even in my mind. What if there was nothing I could do to protect her? What if, after everything we'd been through, this was the one problem we couldn't solve?

"What did you see?" Bella asked.

Alice didn't answer, and the silence seemed to drag on forever.

"Give me the phone." I heard Carlisle's voice faintly in the background, possibly too quiet for Bella to hear. I tried to feel some reassurance by his presence. Carlisle would have the answers we needed. He had to. "Alice, let me take it from here."

"Here's Carlisle," she said quietly. I hated the way her voice sounded so defeated. It wasn't something I was used to. Alice was always so confident and sure of everything.

"Bella, it's Carlisle. What's going on?"

"I –" She froze, clearly unable to say the words. She was having as much trouble believing this as I was. A moment later, she continued, "I'm a little worried about Edward. . . . Can vampires go into shock?"

I was surprised to hear her talking about me, when she was the one in danger. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me, other than the fear that was gripping me, suffocating me.

"Has he been harmed?" I heard Carlisle ask.

"No, no. Just . . . taken by surprise."

"I don't understand, Bella."

"I think . . . well, I think that . . . maybe . . . I might be . . . pregnant."

The word hung in the air, this nebulous concept that had changed everything, and as it took shape, Bella's hand reached back down to her stomach. I noticed again how the gesture looked less like a simple touch, and more like an embrace. It didn't make any sense.

If Carlisle was shocked, he certainly didn't let Bella hear it in his voice. He was instantly, miraculously, Dr. Cullen, prepared to fix whatever ailment had befallen her. "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?" he asked.

"Sixteen days before the wedding," she answered, matter-of-fact. It was like they were discussing what she'd had for dinner.

"How do you feel?"

"Weird," she admitted, her voice catching as she once again began to cry. Bella so rarely cried, though she'd had so many reasons to, and fear once again took over my every thought. Was she already hurting, feeling this foreign thing that shouldn't exist? Yet, when she spoke again, her voice was soft, no trace of fear. It was almost reverent, and I was completely baffled by it.

"This is going to sound crazy – look, I know it's way too early for any of this. Maybe I _am _crazy. But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing up and . . . and . . . I swear something _moved _inside me just now."

That was it. The moment that finally snapped me back to reality. She could already feel that _thing, _whatever it was, even though it couldn't be more than days old. I needed answers, and though I wasn't sure even Carlisle would have them, he was my best chance. Still not quite able to speak, I reached my hand out, motioning for the phone.

Bella was eying me cautiously. "Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you."

"Put him on."

She handed me the phone, her expression unreadable. The moment it hit my ear, I asked the question I felt certain I already knew the answer to.

"Is it possible?"

"Edward, you know as well as I do that there have been legends of such occurrences. I haven't encountered anything like it in all my centuries, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. From everything Bella described, her symptoms, and the fact that she felt . . . movement, I have to proceed under the assumption that she is, indeed, pregnant. I'm so sorry. I had no idea, or I would have told you to take precautions. Obviously, we don't have much to go off of, but I am going to do as much research as I can while you two journey home, to help determine the best way to . . . handle this. There are stories in Balkan folklore, as well as the tales of the incubus. And of course, many legends have come out of Romania –"

His words had started to blend together, and I was having trouble focusing. He was talking about legends and mythology, when my real life, flesh and blood, extremely mortal wife sat helpless beside me.

"And Bella?" I asked, feeling equally helpless as I pulled her into my arms.

He paused for a beat longer than I would have liked, but whatever he didn't want to say, he quickly hid it. "I'm sure I'll find some answers that will help us know how to best approach this. Try to stay calm, and be there for Bella. I'm sure she's frightened and confused. The best thing you can do for her is to be positive. And of course, get her home as quickly as possible. I won't really know what we're dealing with until I examine her."

"Yes. Yes, I will."

As I hung up the phone, I pulled Bella closer, holding her tighter than was perhaps wise, but I couldn't help myself. She'd never felt more precious to me, more worth fighting for. This ordeal she was going through, all of it was because of me – because I hadn't listened to her, and changed her when she'd asked me to. It had been all she'd wanted for so long, and I had denied her. Now, she was going to suffer because of it.

Carlisle was right. I knew the legends as well as he did, and though I'd always found them unlikely at best, the one aspect that seemed certain throughout each and every one of them, was that it could not possibly end well for the women involved.

I quickly dialed the airport, ready to book whatever flight got us home the fastest.

"What did Carlisle say?" she asked.

"He thinks you're pregnant." There was no sense in burdening her with anything else. Like Carlisle had told me, there wasn't much he could do until he'd seen Bella himself.

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

Bella sat by my side for the first ten minutes or so, but she soon grew weary of listening to me argue in Portuguese. It took four members of the customer service team, two managers, and just over an hour, but Bella and I were officially booked on the next flight out of Rio.

While I arranged our flight, I was also packing our bags, and trying unsuccessfully to ignore the worry on Bella's face. For the majority of the hour, she sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest, and looking at me anxiously. I couldn't seem to make myself look her in the eyes. Eventually, I tossed an outfit onto the bed, hoping that, for once, she wouldn't argue. I knew this wasn't how she wanted to end our honeymoon, but she had to understand the need to get home and let Carlisle examine her.

I barely even noticed when she left the room, but I could feel my tension increase exponentially when she was no longer in my sight. I was relieved when our flight was booked, and our bags were packed, so I could return to her side. She was in the kitchen, staring out the window, her hand absently grazing across her stomach.

"Bella?" When she turned, I saw there were tears streaking down her cheeks again. "Bella!" I was at her side in one of her erratic heartbeats, and my hands reached out to cradle her face. There was something in her eyes, something I couldn't quiet understand, but that I knew she was keeping from me. Was she afraid to tell me how much it was already hurting her, or how frightened she truly was? "Are you in pain?" I asked miserably.

"No, no –"

I just couldn't stand to hear her denial, and to know she was trying to protect me yet again. I could see her tears, and the fear in her eyes. I crushed her to my chest, silently begging for forgiveness. This was all my fault.

"Don't be afraid," I said, running my hand through her hair. "We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine."

I felt Bella stiffen under my embrace, and her voice when she spoke was strangled. "Take care of this? What do you mean?"

I took a step back to look into her eyes, and she could no longer hide it from me. The mask she'd been wearing to spare my feelings had slipped completely away. She was terrified. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I _won't _let it hurt you."

"That _thing?_" she asked, and I instantly regretted the word. I wasn't doing anything to calm her fears.

I wanted to say something else, but I heard voices outside out door. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back."

I raced to the door and opened it violently. Gustavo and Kaure stared at me with shocked eyes, and I forced myself to speak calmly. Still, the Portuguese sounded harsher that usual, and Kaure took an instinctive step back.

"We won't be needing your services at this time. Come back later this afternoon, or tomorrow, or whenever. We're getting ready to leave, and would like to be left alone."

_Oh my, he has killed the poor girl . . . . _ Kaure gripped Gustavo's arm. Without thinking, I shook my head infinitesimally, and she gasped. I closed my eyes, wishing I had just stayed still. The last thing I needed was to give her more proof that I was exactly the kind of creature she feared.

"I'm sorry you've made the journey for nothing, but we really would like to be alone while we get ready for our departure."

"Please, sir, we have brought you dinner. May I take it in to your lovely wife?" she asked bravely.

"We appreciate the gesture, but we really are in quite a hurry." I was getting frustrated, but there was no deterring her.

_I have to see for myself. _Her mind was screaming at me, and her eyes were locked firmly with mine. She knew I could hear.

"Please," she repeated.

"Fine," I said, irritated. "Come this way. You can give the food to Bella yourself."

"Thank you, sir."

Gustavo, so calm the last time we saw him, was keeping his distance. He waited, only a few steps inside the door. As we walked into the kitchen, I saw that Bella had been crying again. I quickly wiped her tears away and whispered in her ear. "She's insisting on leaving the food she brought – she made us dinner." I paused, wondering how much English Kaure actually understood. Lowering my voice, I added, "It's an excuse – she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet."

When Kaure entered the room, her eyes fell immediately on Bella. She couldn't hide her sigh of relief, but still, she was assessing the two of us, as if trying to find something wrong.

_She's been crying. And her color is off. And something else – _

"You've done what you came to do," I said sharply. "It's time for you to leave."

She turned swiftly, and a moment later, Bella paled again. I followed as she hurried to the sink, barely making it before she was sick again.

"You're okay, Bella, you're okay," I muttered, feeling the lack of conviction in my own words. It occurred to me it was probably the smell of the food that had tuned her stomach, so I quickly put the offending items in the refrigerator, and returned my hand to Bella's heated forehead. She rinsed her mouth, breathing far too hard, and I felt a surge of anger. I didn't even know who or what it was directed at. Maybe Kaure for bringing the food, or the island for being so far from home, from help. Probably it was mostly anger at myself, but I couldn't focus on that right now. All that mattered was getting Bella home.

I pulled Bella back to me, and she sunk into my chest, sighing. I felt her arms wrap around her stomach, and I wondered if she was going to be sick again.

_What is this?! _

Bella and I looked up at the same moment, both of us seeing that Kaure was still there, watching us in horror. Her eyes were locked on Bella – or rather, on Bella's stomach – and for several seconds, even her mind was silent. Then, the flood gates opened.

_What has he done, this _monster_, this . . . killer? He has defiled her. He has _killed _her!_

Shocked and aghast, I stepped in front of Bella, my instincts trying to protect her, though of course, the danger wasn't some outside force. The danger was inside her.

"You act as if you love her, then you condemn her to this fate?" she shouted. "What kind of monster are you? What has she done to deserve this?" She shook her fist angrily at me. "I have heard these tales, I have believed them since I was a child, and I _know_ this can only mean pain and suffering! Why have you done this?"

Even though her words were anything but comforting, I suddenly felt a glimmer of hope. If Kaure had truly heard legends of a situation like ours, perhaps she could offer some insight. Any information was better than the total lack of knowledge we had now. I walked toward her, aware that Bella was clutching my arm, but I needed Kaure to see the sincerity in my eyes. If she was to offer us any information, she had to know that I would only use it to help Bella. She had to know how much Bella meant to me, and how desperate I was to save her.

"Please," I begged, startling her. I knew little of her native Ticuna language, but even the sound of that one word was enough to get her attention. I struggled for the words, but I could see in her eyes that she understood. "Please, help us. I love her. I must save her. What do you know of this thing that has happened? How can I help her?"

"So it is true?" she answered. "You have created an abomination that now lives inside her?"

All I could do was nod. Although she had already determined as much, knowing it for certain was almost too much for her. She stepped back and made the sign of the cross over her chest.

I needed her to believe that I never meant for this to happen, that I only wanted health and happiness for Bella. I reached to Kaure in a gesture that meant peace, then motioned to Bella and placed my hand on her cheek. I didn't know how else to express my love for Bella.

"Do not pretend you love her!" she spat. "Only a monster would do such a thing to an innocent girl. You lure her here, and you sentence her to death!" She was waving her arms at me again, no longer afraid, which made me feel hope. If she wasn't afraid, perhaps it meant she was starting to question whether I was entirely evil.

"Please," I repeated. When I continued, I spoke Portuguese again, afraid my words would lose some of their meaning as I struggled with her language. "She is my wife. She is my whole world."

Kaure looked disbelieving, but as she glanced between the two of us, there was a trace of something else. Curiosity, perhaps? Possibly even compassion.

_Could it be true?_

"I love her more than anything," I promised, "and I _must _keep her safe. I will do anything. Please. I did not know this was even possible, or I never would have put her in danger. I know nothing of this. If you have any knowledge, anything that can help her, please, you must tell me. I am begging you."

All the while, she kept looking at Bella, confused, but wondering if I could be telling the truth.

_See how she clings to him, _she thought, baffled. _Could she truly love him, even with all he's done to her?_

When she took a step toward Bella, I knew she was starting to believe. Wanting Bella to know she understood what was happening, she moved her hands in the shape of a large, pregnant belly, and Bella's eyes widened with shock.

"She knows it is within her already?" she asked.

"Yes. She understood before I did."

"And she is frightened."

It wasn't really a question, but I answered, "yes," anyway.

"Still, she loves you? How can this be?"

"She is extraordinary. Her love for me is completely undeserved, but it is all I have. I cannot lose her."

She looked at me, her eyes softening for the first time. "In all the legends, I have never heard of a monster who loves his victim. It is difficult to believe, yet I can see she is not afraid of you. And there is something in the way you speak of her."

_Does he speak the truth?_

Very deliberately this time, I looked into her eyes and nodded my head. I would gain nothing by hiding any part of myself from her. Now that I was starting to gain her trust, I asked the only question that truly mattered.

"In your legends, is it possible for a woman to survive this ordeal?"

_His voice is so earnest . . . _ She was torn, still disbelieving, but a part of her _wanting _to believe me. A moment later, she shook her head dismally.

_Never. _

"There must be _something _I can do. Anything!"

She walked dismally over to Bella, and placed her hand over Bella's, so they were both holding her slightly raised stomach. Kaure spoke one final word, and I could see in Bella's eyes that she understood.

"Morte." Death.

Kaure's legends spoke only of death, and if that was the case, then she wouldn't be able to tell us anything we would want to hear. As she left, it looked like the weight of the world had fallen on her shoulders.

_I am sorry, demon, _she thought, right before she closed the door.

Bella and I were both frozen, unsure of what to do next. We were packed, and I knew we had to hurry to catch our flight, but somehow, the thought of leaving the island made everything so much more real. Leaving would mean entering the unknown, and accepting that neither of us knew how this would end. How had everything changed so quickly?

Eventually, Bella started to move again, and I reached out to her shoulder.

"Where are you going?" I couldn't stand the thought of letting her out of my sight, even for a second.

"To brush my teeth again."

"Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment."

"I didn't understand anything." Something in her eyes, however, told me she'd understood far more than I would have liked.

"I packed your toothbrush," I said. "I'll get it for you."

"Are we leaving soon?"

"As soon as you're done."

I paced as she brushed her teeth, feeling helpless and useless. When she was finished, I packed it away again. I knew it was time to leave.

"I'll get the bags into the boat," I said.

"Edward – "

"Yes?"

She looked worried, her eyes barely meeting mine. "Could you . . . pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again?"

It was such a simple request, and one of the few things I could do for her at that moment. "Of course." I tried to smile, but it was weak and forced. I wanted to reassure her, but it was hard to infuse any certainty into my voice when there was so much I didn't understand. The one thing I did know was that I would not, _could not, _lose her. Not after everything we'd been through together. Carlisle would find a way to get that thing out before it grew big enough to hurt her, and then I would change her at the first possible opportunity. I was a fool for waiting so long, and for having entertained the idea of leaving her human even longer, simply to get more of the things I thought were important. None of that mattered now. All that mattered was keeping her safe, and there was only one way to make certain of that.

"Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon."

She nodded, though the fear didn't leave her eyes. I felt miserable. I had sworn there was nothing left for her to be afraid of, that nothing would ever threaten her again, and now, because of me, she was faced with another horror. I couldn't think of anything to say that I hadn't already said, so I grabbed our bags and headed to the boat, loading it quickly and without thought.

When I returned to the house, Bella was standing at the kitchen counter holding my phone. She looked up at me, her expression unreadable. "Don't forget your phone," she said, holding it out to me.

As I took the phone, she entwined her fingers with mine. There was something strange behind her eyes, and I felt once again there was something she wanted to say to me, but didn't know how.

"I love you," I said, trailing kisses from her forehead down her cheek, and to her lips. "I'm so sorry you're sick, and hurting, and frightened. I'm sorry for everything."

"I'm fine," she said. An odd smile that didn't look at all like hers tugged at her lips. "_We're _fine."

"Of course we're fine," I said. I was confused when her smile disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. So much for my reassurances. I kissed her again, then scooped her up and carried her to the boat. She didn't protest.

As we made our way to shore, I noticed Bella was sitting backward, eyes staring out at our quickly disappearing island. Another round of tears filled her eyes and spilled over.

"We'll come back someday," I called to her. "When all this is over, and you're safe again."

Bella didn't move as more silent tears stained her cheeks.

She didn't speak to me the entire boat ride, and we exchanged only a few words while we waited for our flight. I couldn't blame her, though. Not really. What was there to talk about? She had to be scared, and she knew all I would offer would be more vague promises that she would be all right. She was probably furious with me, the reality of her situation settling in. Neither of us knew what to expect when we got home, what plan Carlisle would have devised for her, but it certainly wouldn't be pleasant. Would she ever be able to forgive me for what she was going to have to go through? Here I was planning to change her at the first opportunity, but what if this was the thing that finally sent her running for the hills, like I'd feared so long ago? Would she want eternity with me after this? With everything I'd put her through?

Bella slept through most of our first flight, and all of our second. She was restless, though, tossing and turning in her seat, and muttering incoherently. It pained me to see the way her face was contorted in agony. For the first time, I was afraid to hear what she was dreaming, and I was thankful none of her words made any sense. I was relieved when we arrived at the airport, and I could wake her from her miserable sleep. She mumbled something that sounded like, "need to keep safe," but when I told her she _was _safe, she groaned and looked away from me.

I had a strange sense of foreboding as we walked across the tarmac, but, fool that I was, I still didn't understand what was happening as Bella ran straight into Rosalie's arms.

_You're okay, you're safe. No one's going to hurt you. _

At first I thought she was talking to Bella, and I was glad that, for once, it seemed Rose and I were on the same page. Of course Bella was safe, and we were going to do whatever we needed to do to keep her that way. Then, I saw that Rosalie's hands had dropped to Bella's stomach, and something in the gesture reminded me of the way I'd seen Bella hold her stomach – like she was cradling it, protecting it.

At that moment, the pieces all fell staggeringly, unbearably, into place. I was frozen where I stood when Rosalie finally met my eyes. She wasn't even trying to hide her thoughts from me. She wanted me to hear them.

_No one is going to take you away from us, little one. _

It was a threat, and a promise. Rosalie and Bella had finally found a common bond, and in one second of absolute clarity, I felt my whole world fall apart. They were going to let that thing grow inside Bella, giving no thought to what it was was or what it could do to her. They were going to completely disregard Bella's safety and well-being in order to save it.

And there absolutely nothing I could do to stop them.


End file.
